It's Party Time

What makes this a “party” speaker?

Well, its powerful sound for one thing. And its 8 light settings for another, including solid colors and rainbow modes. And then there’s just its general appearance; kinda colorful, kinda fun, kinda aggressive. Not just another nondescript cylinder is what we’re getting at.

And… yeah, that’s about it.

So let’s do something different today. In honor of this “party speaker,” we’re going to play a little game. One called:

HUMORLESS DESCRIPTIONS OF PARTY ANTHEMS

It’s pretty simple. Each clue that follows summarizes a song about (or, at least, often played at) parties as dryly and humorlessly as possible. You post the song and the artist in the comments. The first to get them all right gets… uhh… nothing? A sense of achievement? Look, we’re just trying to have fun, okay?

Anyway, here goes:

1. In the face of Nostradamus’s prediction that the world will end at the turn of the millennium, a self-proclaimed royal advocates for hedonism.

2. Despite the group’s name, rapidly consuming several servings of hard alcohol is hardly a laughing matter.

3. One half of a famed hip-hop duo ruins generations’ worth of instant camera photographs by relaying misinformation about how to hasten their development.

4. Given the band’s science-fiction-coded name, perhaps we should assume that they come from a time in the future when music takes on a solid form. Otherwise, this song presents an entirely unrealistic approach of urban planning.

5. A man boasts of his dancing abilities by comparing them to those of an octogenarian.

6. A former child star celebrates the same country in which her father had to beg publicly for his heart not to be broken.

7. A man somewhat sadly attempts to will a fun night into existence by repeating, over and over, his intuition that it will occur.

Again, there are no prizes, but feel free to post your guesses in the comments (or to come up with your own humorless party anthem description). Otherwise, maybe buy a speaker. It lights up!