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Re: Mandatory Training - Appropriate Workplace Conversations

Dear thoughtful and generous HR representatives,

I want to begin by saying that I appreciate and respect your diligence. To find myself here, on the receiving end of your disciplinary measures, is disconcerting to say the least, but also reassuring. It shows what lengths you will go to ensure that our workplace is safe for everyone.

With all of that being said, and with my assurances that I will complete the mandatory training on appropriate workplace conversations and, furthermore, will honor all aspects of my probationary status, I do believe there has been a misunderstanding. What’s more, after much thinking, I feel I have located its origins.

You see, what I invited the group in the break room to look at this past Monday were not what has likely been reported but rather photographs I had taken of a dickcissel.

I am an avid bird watcher, often spending whole weekends hiking through the woods with a guide in one hand and a pair of binoculars in the other. For so long, these trips have been for my own personal enrichment. But recently, as luck would have it, a deal site I frequent offered a Vivitar Binocular Camera. I can use it day and night, and it features 18x digital zoom, so I get a nice view of the birds I see while I’m out. But it also allows me to take photos!

To put it bluntly, I was excited that I might finally share this hobby of mine with my coworkers. Furthermore, I felt proud of the photographs I had managed to take. (Because of this, I did, when talking to the group, refer to it as ‘my dickcissel,’ which I now realize complicated her understanding further.)

While I do not wish to throw any of my coworkers under the bus, so to speak, I do feel that Gerald and Mark are partially to blame for the situation’s escalation. Overhearing my conversation, they began asking me leading questions. For example, Mark inquired into how big it was. (To which I unfortunately replied, quite diminutive but beautiful in its coloration.)

As for its ‘rapid emissions when excited,’ I was merely referring to its call. And yes, I understand this is very peculiar phrasing, but I was basking in the glow of camaraderie and not necessarily considering my words.

Again, I do not ask that I be given an out from the trainings, or the strict parameters placed on my continued employment. I simply want to tell my side of the story, and assure you all how much I love my job. Not only do I find the work itself to be its own reward, but it’s with the salary I earn here that I am able to plan future birdwatching trips. Why, next year, I hope to travel to the Himalayas, so that I may finally see the majestic snowcock. And were I to get a photo of that, rest assured, I’d happily email it to everyone in the company!

Sincerely,
Nelson Carbottom