Triple Threat

“Have a good day,” said the courier, leaving Neo alone to investigate the padded envelope’s contents. First, he pulled out an Apple Watch. Then a pair of AirPods. The final item was an iPhone… that immediately began ringing.

“Hello, Neo,” came the voice on the other end of the line. “Do you know who this is?”

Neo looked at the screen. It read, “Maybe: Morpheus.”

“Morpheus?” Neo said.

“Yes,” said the voice. “I’ve been looking for you, Neo. I don’t know if you’re ready to see what I want to show you. But unfortunately, you and I have run out of time. They’re coming for you, Neo, and I don’t know what they’re going to do.”

“Who’s coming for me?” Neo said.

“Stand up and see for yourself,” Morpheus said. “Do it slowly.”

Neo peered over the top of his cubicle and saw men wearing dark suits and sunglasses.

“Oh, shit,” he said, ducking back down. “What do they want from me?”

“I don’t know, but if you don’t want to find out, I suggest you get out of there.”

“How?” Neo said, cowering in the corner of his surprisingly large cubicle.

“I can guide you, but you must do exactly as I say,” Morpheus said. “First, pair the earbuds.” Neo did this. “Keep one in your ear, so you can always hear me. Second, put on the watch. Now, we’re ready to go. See the cubicle over–”

But just then, Morpheus’s voice was cut off by the AirPod issuing the low battery tone.

“Sorry, these AirPods are almost dead,” Neo said. “I’m switching back to the phone.” But when he took this from the pocket of his blazer, where he’d stashed it, the 10% battery warning popped up on the screen. “Wait, the phone is almost dead too.”

There was a silence on the other end of the line. “So, umm,” Morpheus said eventually, “we don’t really have many charging ports. It’s a matter of some wire-to-port-related trauma that I won’t get into right now, but it’ll make sense eventually, trust me.”

“But why didn’t you invest in an Aukey MagFusion Z 3-in-1 Qi2 Foldable Magnetic Charging Station? It provides a place to quickly charge all three of these things magnetically, with only one port going into the station itself. Plus, it’s adjustable, so you can set it up in a variety of different ways.”

“I don’t need a damn lecture, Neo,” Morpheus said. “At least we charged the watch all the way, right?”

“That’s the least important of the three.”

“You know what?” Morpheus said. “I can just tell you’re going to be a pedantic little dweeb about everything. Just forget I called, Neo.”

And with that, he hung up.

Neo was interviewed by the suited men, but they sensed he wasn’t a threat and let him go. He returned to his cubicle, finished his work, and lived a very normal life.