Dessert for Breakfast

Hello, my name is Wade Boggs, and no, I’m not related to the baseball player. It’s just a coincidence.

You see, I’m the president of the Granola Makers Association of America. And I come to you today, with a question: why us?

For as long as anyone can remember, we’ve worked in conjunction with our friends in the yogurt industry to provide a delicious and nutritious breakfast. And yet, somehow, of the two of us–granola and yogurt–our product is the one that has become synonymous with a certain frou-frou, farmers-market-y lifestyle.

How could that be?

Let’s review.

Our product:

• Provides a bit of sweetness; and
• gives a bit of texture.

And yes, it is made of oats and other natural stuff.

But still, compare that to yogurt, which:

• Brags about how tangy it is; and
• boasts about the fact that it is made with, and contains, living bacteria.

How is this even a conversation?? Put next to that, we’re like the cool jock to their nerd, the Corvette to yogurt’s Nissan Leaf.

And that’s if we’re just comparing yogurt to any old basic, slightly sweet granola. Products like these KIND Soft Baked Dark Chocolate Chunk Granola Clusters are basically a dessert that you can eat first thing in the morning without judgment. How rad is that? Heck, you don’t even need to add it to yogurt at all!

Now imagine the other way around: yogurt without any delicious granola swirled in.

We’ll give you a minute to finish dry-heaving.

In conclusion, henceforth, when you feel the desire to refer to something as being ‘granola,’ please reconsider, and, instead, describe it as ‘yogurt.’

We thank you for your time.