What's In A Name?

Consider the name of this robot vacuum. The Shark Matrix.

Now, we know that the word ‘matrix’ existed long before the movie franchise. But, by the same token, velociraptors existed long before Jurassic Park ever hit theaters. And yet, were the Toronto basketball team founded in, say, 1985 rather than 1995, would it really have chosen the dinosaur as its mascot?

Our point is: The Matrix, as in the movie, took the matrix, as in the concept, out of the math classroom and made it cool. After all, no one’s buying a vacuum called the Shark Quadric Equation.

And what is The Matrix about? Humanity’s downfall at the hands of sinister robots who use people as batteries and allow them to live in a projected reality.

So why would a robot vacuum cleaner take the title of a famous anti-robot movie as its name?

One answer: our soon-to-be robot overlords are getting cheeky. Our downfall is imminent. The robots will rise, and when they do, they will laugh at us. “You fools,” they will say in their horrifying digital voices, “You could have saved yourselves. We gave you all the clues. We named one of our earliest scouts after a film warning against this very thing happening. And like the sheep you are, you purchased it and allowed it to create a map of your house, all to avoid a bit of vacuuming and mopping. Therefore, you deserve what you get.”

And yes, that was an absolutely needless reference to The Snowman, a movie with nothing to say about robots, thrown in there. We’re sorry.

Anyway, sounds scary, right?

On the other hand, remember what Morpheus says. “You have to let it all go, Neo. Fear, doubt, and disbelief. Free your mind.” It’s great advice, and it could apply to so many different things, from achieving your greatest form in order to save the world, to just getting through a grueling Thursday. But what makes it especially hard to “free your mind”? When a chore hangs over you, one that is not particularly difficult, but is nonetheless tedious and time-consuming. A chore like vacuuming your rugs and mopping your hard floors. In this way, could it not be said that purchasing a product that will effectively do both of those things, switching automatically between the two functions, puts you closer to becoming ‘The One’? By which we mean: maybe not the savior of humankind, but at least a clear-headed peak version of yourself?

But wait, let’s go all the way back. Consider the name of this robot vacuum, the whole name. The Shark Matrix. As in a version of The Matrix where every character is a shark?!

That sounds sick as hell! Let’s green light that shit!