Sun for Sound

These earbuds? They’re AWESOME! And you know how I know? Because I read a single five-star review from Amazon user, ‘Bluetooth earphones.’ Here it is, in full:

Man let me tell you I recently got this product and I am loving it good price offers comfort design is good great quality fits perfectly looks great battery lasts good

So, obviously, I’m being a bit facetious here. This is, very clearly, not a super trustworthy review from a user who has, you’ll be shocked to learn, only reviewed this one product.

So what’s happening here?

Because it is a review from the last two years, the obvious answer would be that it is generated by AI. But in my experience, AI-generated writing is often grammatically competent, sometimes to a stifling extent. Which is, by the way, how you know these write-ups aren’t generated using AI. Don’t you see, friends? The typos and misplaced commas are not evidence of my incompetence! They’re an invitation for us to connect as HUMANS!

But just out of curiosity, I set out to see if I could replicate bluetooth earphones’ cadence, at least to some extent. I gave ChatGPT the prompt, “Write a glowing 30-40 word Amazon review of Urbanista Phoenix Hybrid Active Noise Cancelling Earbuds with Solar Charging, but make it somewhat vague and convoluted, and don’t use any punctuation.”

Here’s what I got:

These earbuds seem to bring an unusually pleasant sense of ease to everyday listening somehow everything feels a little more effortless and enduring than expected the charging aspect quietly fades into the background while the overall experience remains consistently impressive and satisfying

Not quite the same vibe. Also, 42 words long, which is either: a) evidence of ChatGPT’s total ineptitude, given that it cannot follow even the simplest guidelines, making so many people’s outright dependence upon it all the more concerning; or b) an expert-level commitment to the bit of being bad at writing that the prompt implies.

Anyway, my theory of the initial review is that someone was assigned to write it and given bullet points of what to cover, but decided, rather than flesh each one out, they would just copy them in as a comma-less mess.

But now, I’ve managed to make it this far down the page without really addressing these earbuds. And there’s a reason for that. Earbud sales pretty much all go the same way. I point you to the Amazon reviews, highlighting the fact that there’s almost no agreement on the sound quality, and then say, “It’s a crapshoot, but hey, at least we’re offering them for cheap!”

The one unique feature these do offer is a case with a solar panel. And this, to my mind, does solve one of the big issues with wireless earbuds, which is when you put them in the case to charge without realizing the case itself is dead until you try to watch a YouTube video on the toilet and are confused why the volume bar shows the bluetooth symbol.

You know… hypothetically speaking…

This might help you avoid that because, assuming the case is near a window and catching some rays, it should stay somewhat alive, hypothetically. So that’s pretty cool, right?

In conclusion, they are earbuds.