In Charge, Not So Large

It was nine o’clock. The kids were asleep, and finally, Jed and Mary could settle into the couch after a long day.

They turned on the television, and then each took out their phone. But only an instant after the screens flashed to life, Jed let out a terrible cry.

“What is it, my love?” Mary said, looking up from her phone.

“Tragedy has struck again,” Jed said, shaking his head.

“Come closer and cry upon my shoulder, sweet husband,” Mary said, opening her arms to him.

“But I shan’t,” Jed said. “And thus the tragedy compounds. You see, my dear wife, the problem is just that: I shall have to remove myself from the couch altogether and travel to the far reaches of the room. Such is the closest outlet for my dying phone.”

“Say it isn’t so!” cried Mary.

“I wish that I could, my love,” Jed said, standing.

“But you could return, couldst you not?” Mary protested. “You could plug your phone in, sit back down, and turn your attention exclusively to the other screen?”

Jed gestured to the television. “But how couldst I? Train your eyes upon it? Does it not play Forensic Files? Do you expect me to give myself over to such depravity without a second screen for occasional relief? Undiluted, the program is a poison much stronger than any used by the sad souls it chronicles.”

With that, Jed took another step towards the outlet.

“Wait, there is but one other way!” Mary called after him.

Jed froze. “I pray you do not mean the Aukey.”

“But why ever not, my love?” Mary stood now. “Yes, we purchased it to bring us comfort when we step out from these tyrannical walls with their set outlets. But why canst we not experience its comfort here, upon the couch?”

“You have a point, I must admit,” Jed said. And with that, he fetched their Aukey power bank. With 20,000mAh, it could charge his phone four times over. So he sat, with his phone charging from a battery intended for travel, half-watching television, half-scrolling the internet. All was peaceful until ten minutes later, Mary let out a yelp of her own.

“Now my phone is the one upon death’s doorstep!” she said with tears in her eyes.

But Jed smiled. “My dear, though there extends but a single built-in cable, there are additional ports for your use.”