A Minor Glow-Up

How to use your Enbrighten LED Night Lights

1. Choose a shape: the square nightlight or the oval lightbar.

2. Plug them into outlets in hallways or rooms where you want some illumination at night.

3. Adjust the level of brightness using the full-range dimmer on the nightlights, or choose one of three light settings on the lightbar.

4. Enjoy easy navigation throughout your home in the evening without switching on any harsh overheads or lamps.

5. Get up one night to get a glass of water.

6. In the glow of one of your nightlights, observe two mice interacting. Doesn’t it look almost like they’re having a conversation?

7. Watch as they scatter so that you can locate their hole.

8. Consider purchasing mousetraps, but then remember the scene: the gestures, the squeaks of different tones. You want to know more about them.

9. Build a tiny, hyper-realistic mouse-bot with a built-in camera and microphone and limbs controllable via nodes attached to your body.

10. Put on your VR headset.

11. Infiltrate the mouse society within your home’s walls.

12. Marvel at its surprisingly nuanced political structures and breadth.

13. Use your human intellect, metal skeleton, and strong robot paws to muscle your way to the top.

14. Show the other mice kindness and benevolence… at first.

15. Grow too invested.

16. Fall behind at work.

17. Lose your job.

18. Realize you’re going to need some sort of income.

19. Organize the mice to carry out a series of high-risk jewel heists.

20. When the mouse elders raise issue after the fifth job, relent… at first.

21. Have your mouse avatar carry out secret meetings with Oliphant, a lowly mouse desperate to find his footing in society.

22. Have him spread vile rumors concerning the elder mice.

23. Use the ensuing discord to further concentrate your power.

24. Plan more jewel heists now that you alone are in charge. Yes, you’ve got more than enough from the first five to live comfortably without employment, but why stop there? Why subsist when you can thrive?

25. Listen intently when Oliphant suggests a job: a diamond of much lore will be on exhibit at a museum in your city.

26. Arrive at the meeting spot in the alleyway next to the museum and find only one mouse: Oliphant. He stands high up on a windowsill.

27. Listen as he calls down to you in his squeaking language, which you’ve come to understand better than your own, that this has gone on long enough.

28. Bristle that he addresses you not as ‘undisputed ruler’ (your preferred nomenclature) but instead uses your name.

29. See the alley cats assembling and understand it’s over. You’ve built your tiny robo-mouse strong enough to melee with other mice, up to fifty at a time, but a pack of feline adversaries is too much.

30. Remove your VR headset so as not to witness the end. How long has it been since you’ve taken it off?

31. Massage your temples until you realize something: Oliphant did not address you by your mouse-avatar’s name but rather your human name.

32. Feel the hair on the back of your neck stand up.

33. Turn and find the army of mice assembled behind you.

34. Repent for your hubris.

IMPORTANT NOTE: Steps 5-34 are optional.