Today's SideDeal4-Pack: Luminara Flameless Candle Sets with Remote
Our Take
- Real wax, fake flame
- A patented fake flame that is, as seen in The Pirates of the Caribbean and Disneyland’s Haunted Mansion
- A variety of different styles to choose from
- Easy to turn on and off with the remote
- Are they available in Georgia Red: Actually… yes!
Your Take
Not Sauce
You know those flame-less candles you see sometimes, with the big bulb on top and the obviously fake plastic “wax” dripping down the side? Well, these aren’t those. Because the wax? It’s real. But the flame? It’s not. Which is how you end up with faux candles that look super realistic.
Like, for example, these red, textured ones:
In some ways, it’s the best of both worlds, isn’t it? They’re modern. They’re easy to turn on and off with the included remote. They provide real ambiance without being fire hazard. Nice, right?
And did we mention that the technology behind these candles was created by Disney Imagineers for use in the Haunted Mansion? Pretty cool, huh? What’s more, they’re–
Wait, a minute…
Dammit, people! We covered this in the all-staff email sent out earlier today. We know these look like canned cranberry sauce, but they’re not! They’re not edible at all! So please, whoever took that bite, spit it out, and reattach it.
We’ll even turn around and count to 5 so you don’t even need to confess. Okay?
1, 2, 3, 4, 5. Now let’s take a loo–
Oh, come on! Another bite?!?! UGH! What the hell?!
Let’s try that again, please. And we’re serious this time. Put the pieces you bit off back!
1, 2, 3, 4, 5.
Well, thank you to whoever took the first two bites for doing your best to reattach. Whoever took the third bite, however, should probably go to the doctor. You just ate a lightbulb.
