The 21-Function Northern Lights Tree (4.5, 7.5, or 9-foot)
Our Take
- Choose your height: 9 feet, 7.5 feet, or 4.5 feet
- In other words: a foot more than Victor Wembanyama’s wingspan, Victor Wembanyama’s height, or Victor Wembanyama’s likely shoe size
- They can do all sorts of cool light stuff, as seen here
- Are they available in Georgia Red: Seriously, you watch that video, and you’re like, Can it do one very basic color?
Your Take
Mesmerizing
Slack DMs between Troy and Sean, 10/31/2026
TROY: Hey, Sean. Happy Halloween. Just checking in on tomorrow’s write-up.
SEAN: Oh, hey.
SEAN: The duffel? I’m pretty sure I loaded it but maybe I forgot to hit save. Let me check.
SEAN: And happy early Halloween to you too!
TROY: Early?
TROY: No, not the duffel. That was Thursday. We need the tree write-up.
SEAN: ???
TROY: The trees.
TROY: That light up:
SEAN: Yeah, I was just working on that.
SEAN: But why do you need it so soon?
TROY: The sale goes live in, like, six hours.
SEAN: Did stuff move on the calendar?
TROY: No.
SEAN: What day is it today?
TROY: Saturday.
TROY: Halloween.
SEAN: But how is that possible?
SEAN: Just a moment ago it was Wednesday.
SEAN: I was working on my write-up for the trees.
SEAN: I turned on the video showing all their features to see what they looked like.
SEAN: When it finished, I watched it again.
SEAN: Then I set it to repeat in the background to inspire me.
TROY: Ah, there you go.
TROY: It can be mesmerizing.
TROY: It took three set-up people before we found one who it didn’t hypnotize.
SEAN: My god, how long have I been out?
SEAN: I asked what day it is. But really I should be asking… what year?
TROY: It’s 2026.
SEAN: My face. There’s only the slightest bit of stubble.
SEAN: Evidence of my family’s care.
SEAN: They must’ve come in here regularly, to my office, and shaved my beard.
SEAN: Why, here’s my daughter now.
SEAN: She’s all grown up.
SEAN: She’s the spitting image of her mother!
SEAN: I’VE MISSED SO MUCH OF HER LIFE!
TROY: Sean, it’s been, like, three days.
TROY: That’s probably just your wife.
TROY: So, getting back to the task at hand: how about that write-up?
SEAN: Right, right, of course.
SEAN: I can put something together real quick.
SEAN: Let me just look at the video for some inspiration.
TROY: No!
TROY: SEAN, DON’T!
TROY: Sean?
TROY: Are you there?
TROY: Sean?
TROY: Sean?
TROY: Sean?
TROY: Well this is just great.
TROY: Screw it, I’ll just copy and paste this into the text field.
Today’s SideDeal

Sundown flips the switch
- Seven presets, from dusk-to-dawn to 8 hours