We're Partial

Notes from brainstorming meeting
TOPIC: what to do next to cash in on the quarter-zip craze?

IDEA #1: three-quarter zip pullovers

Positives:

• “More of a good thing!”

Negatives:

• “The uncanny valley of zipper lengths”
• Too long to be decorative; not as convenient as a full zip down

Further discussion:

• In case anyone wasn’t aware of the phrase, Gilbert gave a long explanation of what the ‘uncanny valley’ refers to
• (Everyone was aware of the phrase)
• (Gilbert reminded everyone he’s kind of a sci-fi guy)
• (Brief description of his recently self-published novel, the ninth in a series)
• (Cut off by James when he started to get into extraterrestrial mating rituals [not soon enough, for many attendees])

Idea #2: One-and-a-quarter-zip pullovers

Positives:

• “Even MORE of a good thing!”

Negatives:

• Either a physical impossibility or something that would look like a mistake, with a zipper extending beyond the garment

Follow-up pitch:

• What if it were a jumpsuit, allowing the zipper to extend further?

Response:

• That wouldn’t be more like a two-thirds-zip jumpsuit
• (Some debate on whether it would be two-thirds or just a bit over half)
• (Paul took off his sweater and measured down a quarter of the distance beyond the hem, but then did calculations based on his overall height being 6’2", which is generous at best)

Idea #3: a limit of one pastry per attendee from the spread of coffee and pastries provided at brainstorming meetings

Positives:

• “Everyone gets one that way”

Negatives:

• Unrelated to pullovers entirely
• Classic Vince: shows up to the meeting a half-hour late and then complains about everyone else

Further discussion:

• Vince had to deal with something important, that’s why he was late
• When asked what he was doing, he responded: “Per OSHA, you can’t ask me that!”
• (Some skepticism that this is an OSHA thing)
• (Isn’t that more for, like, construction sites?)
• (Nobody interested in looking it up)
• (Moved on)

Idea #4: Generative AI pullovers

Positives:

• “People seem to like it?”

Negatives:

• Some people really don’t like it
• No idea how to actually implement

Conclusion: We’ll do nothing. The quarter-zip craze will last forever!