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Look, let’s get right down to it: there’s nothing worse than reaching for your tablet, your earbuds, or whatever you need… and finding it dead. After all, many of these things aren’t luxuries anymore. For better or worse, we rely on an array of devices to get through our day. Case in point: I have my phone right next to me as I write this copy, because I never know when an important message is going to come through.

And, as if on cue, I’m getting a text right now! Let me check what it is…

PoliResearchSolutions here. You’ve been selected to weigh in on key political issues that are important to you in the upcoming midterm elections. Please click the link for a brief 48-question survey. Reply STOP to end.

Ugh. Okay, just going to block and report spam.

Cool. Anyway, where was I? Right: it’s always inconvenient when one of your devices dies. But, luckily, we here at Meh offer many charging solutions, such as–

Oh, shoot, another text. Let me just check…

Hi, this is Paul, and I work with the Definitely-Not-A-Leading-Question SuperPAC. I was just curious: do you think fish dying en masse is good or bad? Reply STOP to end.

Okay, not biting. Block and report spam.

Point is, we offer all sorts of charging solutions here at Meh, like these Aukey MixFlex Sling 30W Power Banks. They come with a built-in plug and a built-in USB-C cable, so they can work as a charging block. But their 10,000mAh capacity can also charge an iPhone 15 twice (or so Aukey claims). And–

Oh, another text…

Hi there, voter. This is Grod Johannsen, candidate for governor. I have raised 39 million dollars this campaign season, and yet somehow, I have failed to hire anyone smart enough to tell me that no one wants to receive a 1500-word text message. So, anyway, I’d like to lay out my 16-point plan for when I get into office…

Wow, this one’s so long. Block and report as spam.

Anyway, what I was going to say was that these power banks can charge your stuff fast. Which means you can plug it in and minutes later have enough juice to watch some cute cat videos on YouTube. Like this one.

Oh… wait…

Looks like there’s a pre-video ad…

Grod Johannsen says…

Grod [at campaign rally]: We need to invest in education to ensure a brighter future for the next generation!

But then Grod Johannsen also says…

Grod [being discreetly filmed at a diner]: And I’ll have the sweet potato fries with that.

Waiter: Just so you know, that is a $1 additional charge.

Grod [hand-waving]: Fine, fine, no problem.

So what is it, Grod? Children? Or sweet potato fries?

[Slow motion zoom-in on Grod eating sweet potato fries.]

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You know what? On second thought, maybe letting your phone die isn’t such a bad idea…