Very Scientific

PUTTING MARGARITA INTO AN OZONE CLEANING SPRAYER: A SCIENTIFIC STUDY

Background

Essentially, this product turns water into aqueous ozone, a powerful, chemical-free solution for cleaning your various surfaces. We have sold it multiple times in the past, and on at least two such occasions, we ended our bulleted front-page features list with some margarita-related curiosity.

On October 30th, 2024:

Can it make a margarita: No, but what would happen if you filled one of these with margarita? Hmmm…

And on January 16th, 2026:

Can they make a margarita: What would happen if you put a margarita into one of these??

What does this repetition tell us?

Perhaps that the bit has run dry and we should retire it?

Absolutely not.

Instead, we believe it speaks to a desire for true scientific inquiry into the subject.

Initial research

Before running tests, we decided to conduct some rigorous preliminary research. First, we Googled, “What would happen if you put a margarita into an ozone cleaning sprayer?” The AI overview replied:

Putting a margarita into an ozone cleaning sprayer would ruin the drink, degrade the machine, and create an unappealing, harsh-tasting mixture.

After that, we searched, “But would it be funny to put a margarita into an ozone cleaning sprayer?” The AI overview replied:

No, it would not be funny because it would likely ruin the machine and could create a health hazard.

This concluded our preliminary research.

Testing

Four of us gathered in the employee lounge with a pitcher of homemade margaritas and a Homedics Ozone Clean 3-in-1 Chemical-Free Disinfectant Sprayer. Our intention was to load the sprayer with the margarita, but first, we needed to test it. After all, how could we know if the result was “harsh-tasting” due to the sprayer without first ensuring the smoothness of the raw materials?

It was not harsh-tasting at all, but very good. We each had a second glass. And then a third, resulting in the need for a second pitcher to be mixed. At this point, the conversation, which had previously been focused on the task at hand, grew heated and emotional. How it took such a turn is hard to say, as we had not designated anyone to sit out the margarita testing. All that can be certain was that, at some point, someone said, “I have to hear another word about whatever disease your amazing fucking hydrangeas have, I’m going to fucking lose it!”

Following this, one participant threw their margarita into the face of another, who stood up abruptly, bumping the table and knocking over the margarita pitcher. Having no more margarita ingredients, we could not pour any into the ozone sprayer. We did, however, fill it with water and use it to clean up the sticky mess on the table left by the spill.

Conclusion

Inconclusive. We’ll have to try again at another time.