A Perfect Solution

One of the first things we sell? A speaker dock. It charges your phone and amplifies it! What more could you want?

It turns out: a lot. Speaker docks are stupid and outdated. We make that point ourselves.

So then we sell charging cables and leave the amplification to an array of bluetooth speakers. Is that good enough for you?

No!

“They charge my phone too slowly,” you say. “It takes FOREVER!”

Fine. We get our hands on some cables and wall blocks that charge phones fast. Like, really fast. This, surely, should be what you’re after. Right?

Absolutely not. Sure, it can get your iPhone up and running in record time, but what if you want to use your phone at this very instant? “I had to unplug it,” you say, “and then I forgot to plug it back in. And now my phone is DEAD! AGAIN! And I was expecting an IMPORTANT CALL! You’ve ruined my life, Meh!”

But don’t worry. We have plans to make it up to you. We offer charging pads. You don’t need to remember to re-insert the plug anymore! You can just set it down on the pad when you need a little juice.

Did we nail it?

Not at all. What if you want to sit in the chair that’s nowhere near an outlet, you say.

Not a problem! We get our hands on these things: power banks that can provide wireless charging. Set it down wherever, and there you go: a charging pad sans plug-in. And if you want to say, “Yeah, but what if it dies?” that’s why we’re selling a two-pack. You can always have one charged and ready to go.

So, did we finally solve the riddle of charging convenience?

Probably not! You’re probably gonna say, “But Meh, what if I want to–”

“Honey? What’s wrong?” It was the copywriter’s wife. She stood in the doorway to his home office, a look of concern on her face.

The copywriter turned from his laptop in a daze. “Huh? What?”

“You’re yelling,” said the copywriter’s wife.

“I was? What about?”

“Charging stuff,” said the copywriter’s wife. “Were you arguing, honey? With the customers in your head?”

The copywriter smiled and shook his head. “Of course not, dear. I would never do something like that!”