Light Work

How to use your EcoGreen 10,000mAh Flood Light Power Banks with Fold-Out Solar Panel

1. Remove from box.

2. Charge the power bank.

3. Use the light when you require illumination.

4. Charge your devices with it.

5. Unfold the solar panel to recharge it in the sun.

6. Let it sit out as you pick your banjo on the front porch of your family’s isolated home.

7. Realize it’s not recharging.

8. Go to your father and complain that the solar charging function’s not working.

9. Grow confused when, rather than say he’ll order a new one, he grows sullen and says, “Child, there’s something I need to tell you.”

10. Listen as he explains that your life up to this point has been a lie. It is not 2026. He and your mother only say as much because that’s the technology they have access to after finding a storage container full of it in their retreat. It’s really the year 2255.

11. Ask what he means by ‘retreat.’

12. Disbelieve your ears when he explains that, when you were only a baby, aliens, each with three arms and three legs, arrived on Earth with the intent of eradicating the human race. They were known as the Mlark, and he, your mother, and you were lucky to escape here and avoid their wrath.

13. Tell your father this is interesting, but that you’re confused what this has to do with the solar panel not working.

14. Gasp when your father reveals to you that it’s because the sun you see is not a real sun. It’s all part of a complicated system he and your mother constructed to mimic the sky, involving several paintings and a system of rotating mirrors. You’re actually in a huge underground bunker. That’s why you’ve never been allowed to go into town: because there is no town, just an ever-dwindling cache of supplies.

15. Gasp again when your father admits that, actually, your stores are nearly depleted, and soon he will have to emerge to the surface and scavenge for more without getting caught by roving Mlark soldiers.

16. Volunteer to go yourself.

17. When your father refuses to let you, tell him you understand.

18. On the night he leaves, watch where he goes so you know the way out.

19. Grab your banjo and your EcoGreen 10,000mAh Flood Light Power Bank, and, when your mother isn’t watching, slip out.

20. Find that it isn’t night up on the surface.

21. Take out your EcoGreen 10,000mAh Flood Light Power Bank and unfold the solar panel.

22. Watch as it charges.

23. Realize this is the first time you’ve actually seen the son.

24. Fall to your knees and weep for a protracted period of time.

25. Look up when you feel a presence near you.

26. Find yourself staring into the menacing face of a Mlark guard.

27. Await your end.

28. Realize it’s not actually looking at you; its three-eyed gaze is trained on your banjo.

29. Pluck a song for him.

30. Grow concerned when it calls something out in its language, and another Mlark arrives with what appears to be a terrifying weapon.

31. Experience relief like never before when the Mlark uses its three hands and one of its legs to manipulate the various levers and gears, producing a strangely beautiful music.

32. Begin to play along.

33. Watch as more Mlark guards arrive, each with their own instrument to join in on the jamboree. One of them comes dragging your father, but releases him and pats him on the back when you say that he’s with you.

34. Play all night long.

35. Come to find peace with the Mlark through music.

Note: Steps 6 through 35 are optional.