Keep Track

Okay, Agent Hermans, let’s get down to business.

The building has just one entrance, at which two guards will be stationed. Upon your arrival, you will offer each guard a sip of your cold brew coffee, which you will carry in a light blue JoyJolt 20oz Vacuum Insulated Tumbler. Thanks to its construction, the ice inside it won’t melt and make it seem unappealing. What the guards won’t know is that this cold brew is decaffeinated and, furthermore, infused with a powerful yet flavorless sleeping tincture.

Once the guards are safely passed out, open the black JoyJolt 20oz Vacuum Insulated Tumbler and splash the acid within onto the lock, thus melting it and allowing entry.

Inside, dispatch the further guards with either the acid or the sleepy cold brew.

Once the coast is clear, locate Doctor Mallory. You will find him quite depleted, we imagine, due to the disease that Professor Hell apparently injected into him. Administer the antidote, which you will find in the black JoyJolt 20oz Vacuum Insulated Tumbler.

What’s that? I just said the black JoyJolt 20oz Vacuum Insulated Tumbler contained the acid?

Hmmm…

No, I’m pretty sure it’s the gray JoyJolt 20oz Vacuum Insulated Tumbler that contains the acid, and the black JoyJolt 20oz Vacuum Insulated Tumbler that contains the antidote.

I think.

Okay, here’s the plan. Maybe just double-check when you get there. Take a quick sip of the black JoyJolt 20oz Vacuum Insulated Tumbler. If it starts to burn your palate a little bit, spit it out quickly and wash out your mouth with the sleep-inducing cold brew. But spit that out quickly, so it doesn’t put you to sleep.

If it doesn’t burn, that means it’s the antidote. Which, I should mention, is deadly to anyone who doesn’t have the disease it counteracts. So, if you take a sip from the black JoyJolt 20oz Vacuum Insulated Tumbler and it doesn’t burn, then take a sip from the gray JoyJolt 20oz Vacuum Insulated Tumbler, allow it to burn for a minute, thus cleaning your mouth of the deadly antidote, and then wash out with the cold brew, which you must then quickly spit out to avoid sleep.

Did I mention that all three liquids have ice in them and taste like coffee? It’s an unfortunate coincidence, Agent Hermans, but that’s why we put them in three different cups: blue for acid, black for antidote, gray for coffee. Or was it–

Yes, you have a question? I don’t see what you could possibly be confused about, but go ahead and ask if you must.

Why would the guards accept a sip of cold brew from a stranger who walks up out of the blue?

Yeah, yikes. Didn’t really think about how weird that would be. We’ll have to come up with another plan. Here, let me just take a sip of my own cold brew, which I have in this green JoyJolt 20oz Vacuum Insulated Tumbler, to stimulate my mind.

Oof. Kinda tastes like burning. I do not like that at all.