@GreetingsADM@UncleVinny Heywood was in regular rotation at the local comedy club and on the morning radio show when I was in college a bazillion years ago. I’ve seen him perform Toast live many times and his sets were always hilarious.
From the write up:
please let us know how any of these settings (for things that are just bread) are different from one another.
The bagel setting uses only the elements on the outside so that it toasts just one side of whatever you put in there, leaving the inside part untoasted.
The English muffin setting is similar to the bagel setting except that it does also lightly toast the inside part.
@Bingo@rpstrong Huh, every bagel mode I’ve ever used (N≈4) has heated up the inside wires, since that’s the part of the bagel you’re trying to toast, haha
Not a bad price Meh,
But how long will it last
A good toaster would easily last 15 to 20 years unless the kid put their fruit roll ups in it Or the smores were toasted over it for wayyy to long
Meh
@dahobbs9 About five years ago, a family member’s toaster broke, and since I had a toaster oven, I gave the toaster to them. It was a Rowenta labeled “Made in W. Germany” so that gives you an idea of how old it was. It’s still working, by the way.
@dahobbs9@ItalianScallion I’m not sure if my folks still have that one or not, but I do have a Kitchenaid that’s made in the USA, so it’s at least a few decades old. Also somewhere I have a Sunbeam that self-raises.
@dahobbs9@ItalianScallion I have that same toaster!* It works very well, like my Rowenta iron, but I too have a Ninja toaster oven/air fryer so I’ve put the toaster in storage.
*Well, mine wasn’t made in West Germany, so maybe a later model.
@dahobbs9@ergomeh@Kyeh@yakkoTDI FYI, the Cuisinart pizza oven is dirt cheap compared to an Ooni one. The Ooni electric one costs four times as much as the Cuisinart, but the Ooni one does get up to 850 degreesF. (I have an Ooni multi-fuel that is fantastic!)
@dahobbs9@narfcake That Sunbeam toaster is awesome! Love the “Automatic beyond belief!” slogan. Interesting that the slots are perpendicular to most other toasters…
Back in the “Old Days”, people used to put Cozy’s on Toasters. Like cute little quilted decorative covers… I wonder if they always remembered to unplug them first. Yikes… Fire dept’s will do a fire safety check-up. The first thing they check is Toaster. At least they used to. Maybe things are made better now, but there is supposed to be a spring, and if it weakened, they said the toaster would turn on by itself… MMM SAFETY Queen Here, ALWAYS UNPLUGS. Can’t say my Mom was a fan. She was like someone keeps unplugging my Damned Toaster. At least she is smart enough not to try Grilled Cheese. Oh, and Dave’s Bread is about all I eat. Thin sliced. At least it’s not full of crap. Nor, over-processed. My Dr. has a sign up, it says Stop eating C.R.A.P. Carbs, Refined, Additives and Processed… Good Advice.
@Mandamm Dave’s bread was (and is still?) a local Portland brand with an interesting history. I hadn’t had some in a while but when I did try it recently, now that it’s nationally distributed, I was surprised how “sweet” some of the products were. And I don’t mean like cinnamon bread, just basic bread bread or their English muffins. If you look at nutrition labels you’ll see quite a lot of added sugars. At least it’s not HFCS like many commercial breads used to use.
@krez56 My Son also buys 50# bags of wheat berries, mills his own, (Or My Granddaughters do) and makes some beautiful Sourdough products. Too bad he lives a few States over. And just sayin’ I don’t eat much bread, I Hate HFCS, it should be banned as it is in other countries, and I agree about not quitting all carbs. I just try to avoid overdoing it. Now I have to go read the package for that sugar content. That Sux:)
@Mandamm@pmarin I got curious last night and found this great article about Dave; it’s a far more complex story than I realized. It says that now that the company has been taken over by a huge corporation his story is gradually getting watered down. https://www.theringer.com/2018/02/27/food/daves-killer-bread-dave-dahl-feature
I wouldn’t be surprised if the recipes might be getting cheapened as well. Big Business just can’t help fucking things up. We had the Noodles and Garbanzo chains start up in CO and sure enough, after they got bought out, the unique elements that made them so good gradually got erased.
Just like Jason Tune’s Shoddy Goods episode about Woot!
I don’t understand why toasters need cancel buttons Why not just pull up on the lever? The lever approach seems intuitive to me, but maybe that’s because that’s the kind I grew up with.
@Stumpy91 America’s Test Kitchen did a review of toasters in 2024. They didn’t test a two-slice Cuisinart toaster, but they did test a four-slice one and found, as you did with the two-slice one, uneven toasting with pale spots. BTW, their highest rated toaster was the GE two-slice one, model G9TMA2SSPSS.
I got one of these in an IRK. It works pretty well. The bagel setting is designed so that the outer coils get hotter than the inner coils, so you have to make sure the cut side of the bagel is facing outward. It’s nice because the cut side gets toasted and the smooth side is only warmed. Beyond that it works well for toast and Pop Tarts.
@Fuzzalini Agreed, but I have a rather large Wolf countertop oven–it’s really an oversized toaster oven–and the grates are so far from the heating element because of its size that it takes seven or eight minutes to do toasting!
@Fuzzalini@ItalianScallion that has been my experience too. Just not efficient; takes a while; toast doesn’t become good toasty-toast like even a cheap regular toaster will make in a few minutes.
I remember traveling to France to visit family in the mid-60s when I was young. Toasting French bread meant putting it in the oven under the broiler. To this day the smell of slightly burned/singed bread takes me back to that trip.
@chienfou also probably it was that fine artisan bread (we throw that word around here, but there it was an essential part of the culture and history).
Everywhere I go here in the U.S. I struggle to find a good bakery for breads. Not cakes and stuff but OK if they want to make it too. I don’t mean the “baked fresh” junk from grocery chains that cook frozen loaves (from a far-away state) in the store. Not the same as locally mixed quality ingredient bread.
@chienfou That’s what I did with bagels in the 1970s. I remember buttering them before(?) I put them in, so the butter was melted through them. These were the OG frozen Lender’s Bagels you bought from the FREEZER section of the grocery store, not the crappy bread-bagels you see now.
I am not a cook, but I could make a mean bagel back in the day.
@cfg83@Kyeh
FWIW I can still toss a pizza. Just made two sourdough crust pizzas for dinner tonight. One was red sauce based with mozzarella cheese parmesan asiago with ham mushroom green peppers and onions. The second was roasted eggplant, caramelized onion over Buretta cheese then topped off with a drizzle of black truffle oil. I cook them in a gas grill barbecue pizza oven insert (another Aldi buy). That thing is amazing! Each one was cooked in less than 5 minutes.
@cfg83@Kyeh@macromeh okay. I walked right into that one!
FWIW actually rode a bike for the first time in probably 35 years last summer. We were on a river cruise in Europe and I signed up for the bike excursion in Strasbourg. Had a good time.
@chienfou you’d be in heaven in my house. The only thing I burn in the kitchen is toast because I make it under the grill/broiler. Less so now that we have the convection/toaster oven that has a timed function. I can make an amazing plated dinner with multiple sauces and components to the proteins accompanying set, but I almost always burn toast points.
@chienfou@Kyeh I find the biggest problem with antique appliances like that open toaster is the power cord: they don’t have a polarized two-prong or three-prong grounding plug and the cord itself could be decayed/decaying inside and/or outside. A properly attached new cord with a three-prong grounding plug would make it safe.
on the topic of “it’s all basically bread”
I am not sure why, but the difference in the amount of time it takes to properly toast an English muffin is MUCH longer than it takes to toast bread.
at least in my current toaster.
the setting of “3” on the dial, bread pops up, toasted.
the setting of “5” on the dial, English muffin pops up, not even lightly browned and gets sent down again for more toasting.
I need to gut up and just try 6 or 7 for English Muffin.
@ekw The nice thing about english muffins is that they are hard to burn in the toaster (for me). Maybe it’s because they have a rubbery texture, which I like. It’s probably a physics thing about the air pockets and the skin of the muffin.
Just got rid of a 2 slice toaster the other day that was about 30 years old and rusty. Sometimes you just want to toast something way quicker than a toaster oven can do it. Good timing meh.
/giphy fanciful-dependable-produce
I’ve been in the toaster market ever since Meh first listed that wacky Dungeons and Dragons Dice toaster. I just didn’t like the extra counter space that it took. This one looks perfectly fine, but notably less interesting.
Specs
Product: Cuisinart 2-Slice Custom Select Metal Toaster
Model: RBT-1200PC-1UM
Condition: New
Components
What’s Included?
Price Comparison
$49.99 at Amazon
Warranty
Register for 1 Year Warranty
Estimated Delivery
Monday, Aug 11 - Wednesday, Aug 13
No automatic butter applicator? I’m out!!
@yakkoTDI you lay the stick of butter on top so it covers both sides.
@yakkoTDI I FOUND A TOASTER FOR YOUR MOM!
@Kyeh Thanks!!
Yeaaaaah Toast!
@GreetingsADM I don’t wanna brag, I don’t wanna boast…
@GreetingsADM @UncleVinny That was ducking awe some!! Now I want some toast.
YEAH TOAST!!!
@GreetingsADM @UncleVinny Heywood was in regular rotation at the local comedy club and on the morning radio show when I was in college a bazillion years ago. I’ve seen him perform Toast live many times and his sets were always hilarious.
@GreetingsADM @UncleVinny Head over to the 55 second mark for a peek at an earlier version of the Cuisinart offered today:
Yeah, Toast!
@GreetingsADM @hugacrv I follow him on YouTube, he puts out a new funny song every now and then. What a nut!
/showme a Drunk Cat that is angry about a toaster and is yelling loudly that it’s just AI Garbage!
@mediocrebot PURRfect job, now go bot some more!!
@mediocrebot @MrGoodGuy the cats missing a metal fork in the paw!
@MrGoodGuy now How the hell does an a.i. know what a drunk cat looks like??
. Someone else is pulling the strings 
@dahobbs9 @MrGoodGuy
/showme a Drunk Cat holding a metal fork that is angry about a toaster and is yelling loudly that it’s just AI Garbage!
@mediocrebot
Nice… Preemptive strike!
Meh has finally jumped the toaster.
@hchavers …after having jumped the Shark with this
From the write up:
please let us know how any of these settings (for things that are just bread) are different from one another.
The bagel setting uses only the elements on the outside so that it toasts just one side of whatever you put in there, leaving the inside part untoasted.
The English muffin setting is similar to the bagel setting except that it does also lightly toast the inside part.
@Bingo sure hope they wired it that way because I recently bought the 4 slice version. I haven’t done a bagel so I don’t have an answer to that
@Bingo I think you have that backwards… you toast the inside of the bagel, not the outside
@agnesnutter @Bingo Just spin the bagel half 180° before inserting.
/giphy bagel spin
@agnesnutter @Bingo But you toast the bagel by facing the inside of the bagel to the outside of the toaster, where it gets hot.
@Bingo @rpstrong Huh, every bagel mode I’ve ever used (N≈4) has heated up the inside wires, since that’s the part of the bagel you’re trying to toast, haha
@agnesnutter @Bingo And my toaster oven assumes that your bagels or muffins are face up on the rack.
But this one is different - the downloadable manual not only makes it clear, but there is also an icon on top showing the correct orientation.
Not a bad price Meh,
But how long will it last
A good toaster would easily last 15 to 20 years unless the kid put their fruit roll ups in it Or the smores were toasted over it for wayyy to long
Meh
@dahobbs9 Or someone tried making a grilled cheese in it. Not mentioning my mom’s name though.
@yakkoTDI Yeah, ya can’t forget the evidence on the clean out tray!!
@dahobbs9 @yakkoTDI Lay the toaster on its side for many more options, including the potential for a major kitchen fire.
@dahobbs9 @ergomeh @yakkoTDI If you’re not willing to spend the big bucks for the pizza oven on Sidedeal!
@dahobbs9 barely related, but is there ever a bad time for the Shirelles?
@dahobbs9 About five years ago, a family member’s toaster broke, and since I had a toaster oven, I gave the toaster to them. It was a Rowenta labeled “Made in W. Germany” so that gives you an idea of how old it was. It’s still working, by the way.
@dahobbs9 @ItalianScallion I’m not sure if my folks still have that one or not, but I do have a Kitchenaid that’s made in the USA, so it’s at least a few decades old. Also somewhere I have a Sunbeam that self-raises.
/image Sunbeam radiant control toaster
@dahobbs9 @ItalianScallion @narfcake
@dahobbs9 @ItalianScallion I have that same toaster!* It works very well, like my Rowenta iron, but I too have a Ninja toaster oven/air fryer so I’ve put the toaster in storage.
*Well, mine wasn’t made in West Germany, so maybe a later model.
@dahobbs9 @ItalianScallion @narfcake That thing can enrich uranium
@dahobbs9 @ergomeh @Kyeh @yakkoTDI FYI, the Cuisinart pizza oven is dirt cheap compared to an Ooni one. The Ooni electric one costs four times as much as the Cuisinart, but the Ooni one does get up to 850 degreesF. (I have an Ooni multi-fuel that is fantastic!)
@dahobbs9 @narfcake That Sunbeam toaster is awesome! Love the “Automatic beyond belief!” slogan. Interesting that the slots are perpendicular to most other toasters…
OWLS! TOWELS! JOWLS! AWESOME!
@dahobbs9 @narfcake @yakkoTDI An 18-minute video about a toaster? I’m out.
@dahobbs9 @ergomeh @ItalianScallion @yakkoTDI
… of course.
@ItalianScallion It’s a cool toaster
@dahobbs9 @ItalianScallion @narfcake It is shorter than the dishwasher videos.
Stan Freberg made a Westinghouse ad once about “toastal engineering”! Can’t find a copy online right now, though…
@agnesnutter
@Tyathca Not sure why that didn’t come up given my search terms! Thanks for the assist
I’d want my shade setting to go at least to 10…
@ergomeh Well, mine goes to 11…
If it only had a setting to toast marshmallows I’d buy one!
So I see it has a setting for “single”.
So what about “widowed”, “separated”, “divorced”, “married” or “other”?
Kinda feels not very inclusive if you ask me…
@seespotbark Exclusive…
@cinoclav
??
@seespotbark @cinoclav @chienfou
Maybe a setting for “poly?”
/showme 12 slot toaster
Does it talk?
“AI” Garbage.
@DrunkCat
The inebriated feline
In an effort to win them back
Is up early Wednesday morning
Repeating the same thing again
@DrunkCat @yakkoTDI
But beat to the punch by @Mrgoodguy above
@yakkoTDI lol okay mr. “incorrect fact”. bot some more
You’re a day late and a dollar short on this. (Now we’ll see if the “@DrunkCat” “AI” bot can figure out what that idiom means.)
@DrunkCat
/showme too-little-too-late
@chienfou @rpstrong @yakkoTDI
/showme a drunk cat taking out the AI garbage while lamenting that the love of his life is ignoring him
Be careful with toasting the new Croissant Bread at Costco. The melting butter in this bread will catch fire.
Clocks in at 140 Calories per slice.
Duckin’ crack is what it is.
Best. Grilled. Cheese. Ever.
Back in the “Old Days”, people used to put Cozy’s on Toasters. Like cute little quilted decorative covers… I wonder if they always remembered to unplug them first. Yikes… Fire dept’s will do a fire safety check-up. The first thing they check is Toaster. At least they used to. Maybe things are made better now, but there is supposed to be a spring, and if it weakened, they said the toaster would turn on by itself… MMM SAFETY Queen Here, ALWAYS UNPLUGS. Can’t say my Mom was a fan. She was like someone keeps unplugging my Damned Toaster. At least she is smart enough not to try Grilled Cheese.
Oh, and Dave’s Bread is about all I eat. Thin sliced. At least it’s not full of crap. Nor, over-processed. My Dr. has a sign up, it says Stop eating C.R.A.P. Carbs, Refined, Additives and Processed… Good Advice. 
@Mandamm Extra step here. I mill organic wheat and make my own sourdough loaves for our regular breads. I agree with your doctor’s advice.
@krez56 @Mandamm
Too simplistic. You cannot (nor should you) eliminate ALL carbs from your diet.
@chienfou @Mandamm Still getting carbs - see homemade bread. Just avoiding the empty ones.
@Mandamm Dave’s bread was (and is still?) a local Portland brand with an interesting history. I hadn’t had some in a while but when I did try it recently, now that it’s nationally distributed, I was surprised how “sweet” some of the products were. And I don’t mean like cinnamon bread, just basic bread bread or their English muffins. If you look at nutrition labels you’ll see quite a lot of added sugars. At least it’s not HFCS like many commercial breads used to use.
@krez56 My Son also buys 50# bags of wheat berries, mills his own, (Or My Granddaughters do) and makes some beautiful Sourdough products. Too bad he lives a few States over. And just sayin’ I don’t eat much bread, I Hate HFCS, it should be banned as it is in other countries, and I agree about not quitting all carbs. I just try to avoid overdoing it. Now I have to go read the package for that sugar content. That Sux:)
@Mandamm @pmarin I got curious last night and found this great article about Dave; it’s a far more complex story than I realized. It says that now that the company has been taken over by a huge corporation his story is gradually getting watered down.
https://www.theringer.com/2018/02/27/food/daves-killer-bread-dave-dahl-feature
I wouldn’t be surprised if the recipes might be getting cheapened as well. Big Business just can’t help fucking things up. We had the Noodles and Garbanzo chains start up in CO and sure enough, after they got bought out, the unique elements that made them so good gradually got erased.
Just like Jason Tune’s Shoddy Goods episode about Woot!
@Kyeh @Mandamm @pmarin
Yeah messing with a tried and true unique brand is fraught with peril. If you have any doubt about that see Southwest lately…
@chienfou @Mandamm @pmarin I know - they’ve changed everything that made them unique!
So stupid!
I don’t understand why toasters need cancel buttons
Why not just pull up on the lever? The lever approach seems intuitive to me, but maybe that’s because that’s the kind I grew up with.
@Wireball_ This unit doesn’t really want to give up its toast unless you press that button. (or unless the cycle finishes) I speak from experience.
@Wireball_ mine will break if you pull up on lever
@lehigh @Wireball_
I think that was probably related to the safety issues above about weakened springs…
@Trinityscrew @Wireball_ You can, however, unplug it. Unless it’s the weird kind with motorized lift.
Maybe you can’t make a margarita with your toaster, but you CAN very well make a toast with your margarita.
Cheers! Bottoms up!
Bought one of these from Costco. Not very happy with it. The toast level is erratic and uneven.
@Stumpy91 America’s Test Kitchen did a review of toasters in 2024. They didn’t test a two-slice Cuisinart toaster, but they did test a four-slice one and found, as you did with the two-slice one, uneven toasting with pale spots. BTW, their highest rated toaster was the GE two-slice one, model G9TMA2SSPSS.
I got one of these in an IRK. It works pretty well. The bagel setting is designed so that the outer coils get hotter than the inner coils, so you have to make sure the cut side of the bagel is facing outward. It’s nice because the cut side gets toasted and the smooth side is only warmed. Beyond that it works well for toast and Pop Tarts.
Toaster: cooks toast
Toaster oven: cooks toast and everything else.
@Fuzzalini Agreed, but I have a rather large Wolf countertop oven–it’s really an oversized toaster oven–and the grates are so far from the heating element because of its size that it takes seven or eight minutes to do toasting!
@Fuzzalini @ItalianScallion that has been my experience too. Just not efficient; takes a while; toast doesn’t become good toasty-toast like even a cheap regular toaster will make in a few minutes.
@ItalianScallion @pmarin Mine is a small Oster toaster oven. It toasts well, even better on the “turbo” setting (where a small fan is running).
Why not.
/giphy square-sizable-ramen
Toaster
@posmr15 Toaster? I barely know her.
Is the exterior cool-touch? Is that the standard now and there is no need to mention it? It has been a while since I purchased a toaster.
Power rating? If this thing isn’t at least 1100 Watts it’s a bread staler - not a toaster.
I miss the days of toasters that got as hot as a stove element.
Ugh - 900 Watts. Meh indeed.
I remember traveling to France to visit family in the mid-60s when I was young. Toasting French bread meant putting it in the oven under the broiler. To this day the smell of slightly burned/singed bread takes me back to that trip.
@chienfou also probably it was that fine artisan bread (we throw that word around here, but there it was an essential part of the culture and history).
Everywhere I go here in the U.S. I struggle to find a good bakery for breads. Not cakes and stuff but OK if they want to make it too. I don’t mean the “baked fresh” junk from grocery chains that cook frozen loaves (from a far-away state) in the store. Not the same as locally mixed quality ingredient bread.
@chienfou Yeah, I still have some flashbacks from tripping as a teen, too.
@chienfou My late brother-in-law used one of these! It looked scary to me, but he liked it.
(Photo stolen from reddit)
@chienfou That’s what I did with bagels in the 1970s. I remember buttering them before(?) I put them in, so the butter was melted through them. These were the OG frozen Lender’s Bagels you bought from the FREEZER section of the grocery store, not the crappy bread-bagels you see now.
I am not a cook, but I could make a mean bagel back in the day.
@cfg83 @chienfou I used to make French bread pizza under the oven broiler that way.
@cfg83 @Kyeh
Back in my RVP* days we made our own Italian bread to use for garlic bread, sandwiches and POAB (pizza on a bun).
*Roman Village Pizza - Boulder CO in the early to mid 70’s.
@cfg83 @Kyeh
FWIW I can still toss a pizza. Just made two sourdough crust pizzas for dinner tonight. One was red sauce based with mozzarella cheese parmesan asiago with ham mushroom green peppers and onions. The second was roasted eggplant, caramelized onion over Buretta cheese then topped off with a drizzle of black truffle oil. I cook them in a gas grill barbecue pizza oven insert (another Aldi buy). That thing is amazing! Each one was cooked in less than 5 minutes.
@cfg83 @chienfou YumMMmm!
Do you toss the dough up in the air and spin it around?
@cfg83 @Kyeh
yep. 50 years later and I can still do that. I’ll have to dig up a pic
There you go…
@cfg83 @chienfou So impressive!
@cfg83 @Kyeh
I guess it’s kind of like riding a bike!
@cfg83 @chienfou @Kyeh Um, your bike must be very different from mine.
@cfg83 @Kyeh @macromeh
okay. I walked right into that one!
FWIW actually rode a bike for the first time in probably 35 years last summer. We were on a river cruise in Europe and I signed up for the bike excursion in Strasbourg. Had a good time.
@chienfou you’d be in heaven in my house.
The only thing I burn in the kitchen is toast because I make it under the grill/broiler. Less so now that we have the convection/toaster oven that has a timed function. I can make an amazing plated dinner with multiple sauces and components to the proteins accompanying set, but I almost always burn toast points. 
@sillyheathen
That’s a feature not a flaw!
@chienfou @Kyeh I find the biggest problem with antique appliances like that open toaster is the power cord: they don’t have a polarized two-prong or three-prong grounding plug and the cord itself could be decayed/decaying inside and/or outside. A properly attached new cord with a three-prong grounding plug would make it safe.
@ItalianScallion @Kyeh
Well, that’s just shocking!
@chienfou @Kyeh <slow clap>
@ItalianScallion @Kyeh
/image taking a bow
We have this same toaster, its very very good.
@crash19285 I have an older version that looks similar; got at a local chain on clearance for like $30. This is a good price for this one I think.
@crash19285 Are you saying your toaster has been very very good to you?
/showme toaster playing baseball
on the topic of “it’s all basically bread”
I am not sure why, but the difference in the amount of time it takes to properly toast an English muffin is MUCH longer than it takes to toast bread.
at least in my current toaster.
the setting of “3” on the dial, bread pops up, toasted.
the setting of “5” on the dial, English muffin pops up, not even lightly browned and gets sent down again for more toasting.
I need to gut up and just try 6 or 7 for English Muffin.
@ekw The nice thing about english muffins is that they are hard to burn in the toaster (for me). Maybe it’s because they have a rubbery texture, which I like. It’s probably a physics thing about the air pockets and the skin of the muffin.
/showme The English Muffin Nebula
@mediocrebot someone’s been hitting-up the hallucinogen cabinet in sickbay.
History of the Electric Toaster
https://www.sutori.com/en/story/the-history-of-the-electric-toaster--mAi82JPX8tNdzSA5L5jn21Dr
I kinda wish my toaster was broken.
/showme honey badger destroys toaster
Just got rid of a 2 slice toaster the other day that was about 30 years old and rusty. Sometimes you just want to toast something way quicker than a toaster oven can do it. Good timing meh.
/giphy fanciful-dependable-produce
@cinoclav No idea why that giphy came up but it seems perfect for this site.
I’ve been in the toaster market ever since Meh first listed that wacky Dungeons and Dragons Dice toaster. I just didn’t like the extra counter space that it took. This one looks perfectly fine, but notably less interesting.
energetic-nasal-tent
@goldnectar has there really NOT been one that imprints Meh on your toast?
/image booji boy toaster
