Goating out in Style (September 2026 Scapegoat Blame Thread)
2September is probably the best month. If you don’t agree, you can take it up with someone who will listen. That probably isn’t @ShotgunX anymore, and might not have even been the case in August, but if you’re still mad about it, you can lay that frustration on @accelerator, who will probably be the goatest of all September 2026 goats…even that also implies the only goat of September 2026.
Hope you’re ready for the rain…it’s coming.
- 14 comments, 65 replies
- Comment
When we count to three we will forget this ever happened.
@accelerator
…one…
@accelerator @chienfou …two…
@accelerator @chienfou Huh?
/giphy look, squirrel!
@cfg83 @chienfou …3…
It’s been an honor and privilege to serve as goat.
I probably won’t remember any of this after 12pm MT and whatever I agreed to accept blame for will be forgotten and denied.
@accelerator @chienfou As it should be. In the meantime, I BLAME you for making me buy the wrong faucet aerator, and UNBLAME you for letting me return it and get the right one.
The goat taketh and give it away … now.
@accelerator
What? You were goat?
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
@cfg83 @chienfou the goat believes in aeration. Since you did get your blame in before the expiration date, your blame has been accepted and atoned for.
Not a blame or unblame, just a question for the GOAT.
Since Tiger Woods had his driver’s license suspended, does that mean he is restricted to only using a putter?
https://sports.yahoo.com/articles/tiger-woods-drivers-license-suspended-140949233.html
There has already been discussion of whether he is allowed to drive a golf cart while playing.
@phendrick My knowledge of the sport of “kings” is fairly limited. I just know that before hitting the ball the golfer has to wiggle his butt a few times and yell out the number of strokes he thinks it’ll take to get the ball in one of the holes.
@phendrick
Is this a pun?!!?!?!? A Dad joke?!?!?!? I blame @accelerator for not being able to tell.
@phendrick
@Kyeh @phendrick
…pounce loading…
It’s a Dad joke…wait…no… I mean it’s a putter pun. I’m so confused and feel so guilty for waffling.
I heard Tiger Woods asked the judge if he could just take a mulligan on his driver’s license—he’s so used to taking a second shot after hitting a tree.
@accelerator Is it better to waffle or pancake?
@accelerator @werehatrack (Might depend on whether you’re a politician or a “professional” wrestler.)
But I like them both. I prefer whichever one is actually served with butter and not the margarine they think is butter. I’ve had wait staff at both the Waffle House and IHOP point to the margarine packets already on the table when I’ve asked for butter. You’d think they’d know, if anybody would.
@werehatrack I just picked up a new Cuisinart waffle maker after my Presto flip side waffle maker gave up the ghost. The death of the Presto sparked a lively debate regarding waffle vs pancakes and the need, if any, to replace the waffle maker or just pivot to the pancake. I am a waffle advocate. I found common ground by purchasing the Cuisinart that makes a good, albeit thin, waffle compared to the Presto. Now it’s still a waffle but can be compared to a pancake in thinness thus allowing a short stack of waffle cakes. So, yes, waffles can be pancakes with crunchy dimples.
@accelerator @werehatrack
I’m firmly in the waffle camp as well.
When I was young it was my job on Saturday mornings to get up and make breakfast for the family. We had one of those old pancake griddles that was reversible so you could flip the metal plate over and have waffles or pancakes (it opened up and sat fully flat in that case)… And yes, it was Aunt Jemima mix!
BLAME: I got my C19 and flu vaxes yesterday afternoon, and the pharmacist noticed that my insuance said I was eligible for Tdap as well, and I foolishly agreed. The combination of C19 and flu vax on the same day invariably leaves me with a sore shoulder, but three jabs left me with two of them, as well as a headache and a general feeling of “Nope” this morning. I’m pretty much back to normal now, but I was essentially out of action for most of a day. Yes, it’s preferable to catching any of the immunized things, but I need to space them out a bit next year.
Blame. I’ve been sick with whatever non-covid, non-flu crud has been going around that lasts for ever. And ever. And ever. And because of that I keep forgetting to click on the face, That’s a second blame.
Unblame. It’s been so hot (oh wait that’s a blame) and so little rain I haven’t had to cut the grass while being sick. The city’s grass police ride the neighborhoods and cite people for not cutting when the grass isn’t even remotely overgrown. What do they think they are doing? Neatly manicured lawns are not going to turn this neighborhood (or city) into the snob parts of town no matter how hard they try. There are two condemned houses on my block alone and the one I rent will be the third one (8’ by 24’ section of ceiling fell earlier this year due to unfixed major foundation problems and more cracks are appearing) once I find another place to live. Neatly cut grass isn’t going to fix that.
Blame. TMobile has gone full AOL on trying to browbeat customers who are fed up with their half-assed wireless internet service and want to cancel. I had to resort to the “Can you cancel this or not?” counterbadger. We had already ditched reliance on them, and swapped to LessEvilThanItHadBeen AT&T fiber, so no, we were Not interested in a different rate plan, particularly since AT&T was giving us a better deal. But their CS droids are now so heavily locked into the yabbut scripting that I had to get rude in order to get what I wanted.
@werehatrack that sucks…
That being said I replaced my 8/1 Mbps DSL that I’ve been stuck with for 10+ years and… Worked. When it didn’t go out. With T-Mobile home Internet that’s 100-300 Mbps and has maybe dropped once… And is 30 percent cheaper
So… I’m pretty happy. Corporate bullshit when you try to cancel is garbage. But. That’s only getting fixed if we bring back regulation. Lina Khan was kicking ass.
@werehatrack it I had the option of fiber I would definitely take it obviously. Wired is always better
Although if someone breaks the wire…
@unksol You mean like the backhoe operator that sliced the fiber trunk connecting the New York TRACON to the radars and comms for Philly, Newark, and Teterboro? (And then, a few days later, the radars for SFO dropped while they were already in a reduced-traffic operating mode in IFR conditions.)
@unksol @werehatrack
At some point, ALL internet is wired…
@unksol @werehatrack Yes T-Mobile & AT&T has tried their best to have me get their Wireless internet. I just tell them I have Verizon FIOS hardwire. Can you compete with it speed?
Then they give me this sheepish grin & say Nope. Ok I guess that I will stay with FIOS!
My Cell is with Cricket.
@mycya4me @werehatrack 8 used cricket for a long time. Redpocket at the moment which does all three I think. Plus yearly discounts around black Friday.
I don’t think I ever talked to cricket. Had to chat with redpocket once because I messed up a plan switch and they handled it. Meh
@mycya4me @werehatrack Also they should not be targeting you guys. My DSL was workable but obviously slow.
I checked twice a year or more for a couple years. It became apparent they could offer it but you had to go to a store and trick them… Then it just was there. So for rural areas they will never pay to run fiber. I mean AEP literally ran fiber down my road years ago but not for us pleabes.
It’s cheaper and easier than starlink. Which I feel ways about in the last few years.
For a lot of rural homes may be the best option. But no company should push back on a cancellation.
For what it’s worth bright speed, my DSL didn’t even try. Just said I want to cancel/have a better/cheaper option and don’t need the backup.
Granted she may have been getting a lot of those
@unksol @werehatrack I can feel your pain. You see I really started with an acoustic modem (you know the one that you stick the Phone headset into , It was 300baud. you could whistle into the cups &m make it answer.
Then I moved up to 1200 baud direct connect (meaning you connected the phone line into the Modem. Due to the distance to the Phone central office the fastest I could go on a Dial up line was 24,000k & could NOT do 33.6k.
Then finely they offered DSL, I was loving it for a few years till, finally was offered real hi-speed internet, I 1st though it would have been through Comcast, but Verizon beat them to me! I love FIOS, always on.
I worked a Job that I helped with a project that they were going to use Satellite back up if the hard line went down. I learned about “Rain Fade” & how the degrades/ slows down the Signal from the Satellite to our system.
@unksol @werehatrack
Well Cricket was bough by AT&T & it is treated as a Separate company. No frills.
The only time you can get a special deal on a Phone is when you first come to them. Any upgrades is done at full price (you could do monthly payment plan)
When I want a “New” to me phone. I go out onto E-Bay & fine a certified dealer of Open Box, Referb. or used models. then I just swap my Simm card.
I found out now I can’t go to another carrier & port my number. AT&T will not touch me as I am with Cricket, The others too much $$$ for a single line!
@mycya4me @werehatrack I mean the phone upgrade game is just beyond stupid. The last time I did one was something like get a cheap old generation iPhone from T-Mobile. Then best buy would buy it off you for a pixel credit. Plus a Google credit. So I got my pixel 9 for very cheap. Long update window.
Granted you have to keep turning off their stupid AI crap but Graphene is an option
@mycya4me @unksol Mint Mobile claims to have decent single-line deals. I haven’t looked too hard at them, so it might be smoke-and-mirror-ware.
@unksol @werehatrack I would NOT have a Android based phone.
Being in IT you hear about how much Google loves to spy on Ya, They are NOW worst than Microshaft/ WinDOZE!
Yes I am a Corp Computer tech. (the one the get the ticket from the Helpless Desk)
@unksol @werehatrack I was told by AT&T & T-Mobile that once you move from one of the Big 3 & port your Number. you can’t port your number to anyone else.
@mycya4me This has a workaround. Port your number to Google Voice and install that app on the tier-two carrier’s phone, and as long as there is data bandwidth available, it rings on the device in your pocket and you still have control over it. (It is my understanding that here in Texas, you can always port your number to a new carrier as long as your current one does business in-state.)
@mycya4me @werehatrack pretty sure there is a law about them having to support switching even though I’m sure they fought it. They are probably lying to you/saying it’s up to the MVNO which it is but they all do it.
Over 20 years Ive jumped from ATT to cricket(owned by ATT) to redpocket GSMA (ATT MVNO) to redpocket GSMT(T-Mobile MVNO) back to GSMA accidentally and they fixed it back to GSMT.
I made a mistake last year and redpocket fixed it via chat. And supports all three/tells you how to switch.
So I call BS
@mycya4me @werehatrack and I am a technical lead and support ops. Obviously no one should be using their personal phone for work. Never mind turning off AI shit and uploads to Apple/Google…
@mycya4me @werehatrack
https://www.redpocket.com/plans
I just do the $10 a month GSMT cause I’m not out of the house much but have done the higher plans with hotspot with no issue.
AT&T won’t port your number but any MVNO will contact your current one/carrier and port it if you give them the correct pin.
Obviously if bouncing between plans make sure your phone supports that carriers bands in your area
@unksol @werehatrack Thank You. But I am happy with Cricket. They are cheap. & with a Fixed income (only social security) I will stick with them. In a few years I will go out & buy another referee & stick my chip into it!
When I was with AT&T I switched to their Prepaid. I was told that they also offered WiFI calling with that package. It was also a tall tail! So I asked them to switch me back. We can BUT we have to charge a change fee, even of it was our fault. I look around & found Cricket.
@mycya4me @werehatrack I was too but being the cheap bastard that I am. $30 a month for cricket vs $10. Less if you do the annual plans especially black friday. And technically better service for me although this will be location specific.
Just FYI if you have a security system or a back up phone in a drawer for emergencies/kids you can also get a $60 a year plan. I used that for a couple years on some things.
https://www.ebay.com/itm/133058476404
@unksol @werehatrack
Well for me Since I have only able to get 1 phone… I can’t get any deals.
Since I was assigned the role of (scape) goat, I will dutifully absorb blame for all your shortcomings. I haven’t read, or even seen, the T&Cs associated with goat roles. I’ll accept responsibility but not take any actions, or feel remorse or guilt, about any meh member’s shortcomings.
EZ fiber is invading my neighborhood with ditch witch crews tunneling through everyone’s landscape. Evidently we have no choice in this matter. Coincidentally, or not, I’ve been experiencing multiple Xfinity Internet interruptions since the tunnel rats have invaded my sovereign territory. I suppose this to is my fault; please don’t let my neighbors know.
@accelerator So how much are you paying us to keep quite?
@mycya4me thanks for asking. I’m actually working the final version of a monetary system that is so virtual that it doesn’t even exist. Conceptually it works on a bartering basis where phrases like “I got you” or “I’ll get the next round” actually mean you’ve been compensated by merely saying the words. Even nonverbal gestures can serve as payment; like at an auction when you nod or tug your ear.
I’d like to try it out here. Everyone receiving this message; “I got you” . Pay this forward the next time someone wants their payment for this or that. Let me know how it works for you.
@accelerator Nope I need hard Cold Green cash. Not some virtual form of payment! I need it in the next 48 hours or I start singing like a canary! hehehe
@mycya4me Careful. All the coyotes around here would come running if they heard a canary sing.
@accelerator Hehehe… I would make sure I just bring along my trusty Rifle!
BLAME: The 'thon buried this thread.
BLAME. For the second time in a month the exact same water main broke outside of my house in the street. The city is apparently going to let it run all night even though you can feel the road vibrate. Last time there was a water created hole about 8’ deep, 10’ long and about 8’ wide. Enough mud is being pushed up I bet this time that part of the street collapses.
I called the city. They said it will just have to run all night as the contractors only work 8-5. Hopefully the nextdoor neighbor won’t get water in his house as his driveway is already flooding. I am lucky the top of the patch at my end is holding or my front yard would be flooded like last time.
What worries me are the three trees within 3 feet of the road and the pit in it. These are mature, twice as tall as the one story house trees. It will destroy their roots on that side and likely the trees will fall on where I live. Of course the ceiling already fell in Feb. I need to find another place to live and can’t within the area I am looking. What is open is in the red crime areas.
@Kidsandliz at first, when I started reading your comment I began thinking about how I would say something snarky like “ people pay good money to have a swimming pool installed” or something like that. As I read through the rest though I became appalled at what is going on at your house and in your neighborhood.
My advice is to document everything with photos, videos, records of phone calls with who you spoke to, when you called, and a transcript of what was said. (You can record phone conversations with your phone.) Your situation is extreme and could lead to your house becoming not tenable. When damage or harm occurs later, as in a tree falling on your house, your insurance may not cover the damages and they may instead require you to look to your city or the contracted water utility company to cover the losses.
So, as the September goat, I accept blame but, as my lawyer pointed out, I cannot accept any responsibility or liability for circumstances beyond my control or purview.
@accelerator They let it run all night. Sigh. Part of the road buckled. They fixed it. They chose not to flush the line with the fire hydrant on the edge of the house I rent and about lined up with the main break. They flushed it way up the street (which is upstream from the break and uphill from the break). I let my neighbors be the ones to flush all the crud out of the lines so didn’t use my water until late yesterday.
The situation is complicated by the fact that the water line is capped at the end of the dead end street and I live right at the turning circle. Just like last time a ton of air was trapped in the system and crud from all of this was forced into the sewer line so now the sewer line to my house is backed up. Last time (last month) the landlord cleared it himself (he is a slumlord) and I had water all over the 2 bathrooms from that which he left me to clean up and he used my towels as rags (I had them on the floor to block water from flowing into my closet and outside of the bathroom doors.).
Theoretically he is coming today to fix it but I have to leave about an hour and a half after he gets here and he kept leaving the doors open (I have cats and an’t shut them in another bedroom for other reasons) and he may well not be done before I have to leave. Last time it took him two days and 7 hours. He only is leaving himself an hour or so this morning to fix the mess. I can’t not go to where I have to go an I can’t not stay. Rock and hard place. BLAME.
I am looking to move and then get the house condemned. If I get it condemned now I have 24 hours to get out and I haven’t found another place to stay yet (am packing and lied and told him that mess was from a friend trying to sell her house becuase her husband died and is her stuff as the agent told her her house had too much stuff in it to sell it easily). Blame for that too.
@Kidsandliz not legal advice but probably don’t post online plans to have your landlords property condemned to get out of a lease or whatever. Even if it’s justified
@unksol I’ve only posted it here, nothing local to me and I doubt he is on here based on other things. Thanks for the advice.
september energy is unmatched
sounds like accelerator is already claiming goat status!
@Sasha3398 @accelerator has actually not had to shoulder much blame - and now it’s almost time for a new goat to take over!
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
@Kyeh @Sasha3398 I beg to differ. I’ve shouldered a burden that, in my mind, is unprecedented. In comparison to life before goat status, my current experience of accepting fault for matters outside of my control hasn’t been seen before. Well, except for the time I had to feign concern and worry for my part in the birth of my child. I realize that was partly my fault but it was also a blessing that wasn’t really realized by my wife until a little later. So, with that being said, I once again, accept fault for not appearing to accept fault in sufficient quantities. Hey, some people just make it look easy.
Quite a while back, I penned this Hymn for the Goat, to be sung to “All Things Bright and Beautiful”
All things disappointing
All ships that will not float
All things quite annoying
The one to blame’s the Goat.
Each little subtle insult
Each thing that leaves you pissed
The Goat must be behind them
The Goat exists for this.
That decomposing cabbage
In fridge behind the beer
Whose smell is in the cheesecake
You know the Goat was here.
The unexpected visit
From folks you can’t abide
They’ll be here for a whole week
The Goat gave them the ride.
But still we must remember
That not all winds blow ill
Sometimes the goat brings fortune, too
Sometimes, the goat is chill.
Oy vey.
UNBLAME: As I was posting the Hymn above, my YouToob window started playing one of Patrik Pietschmann’s piano renditions of a Two Steps From hell piece, “Victory”, which is a particular favorite. I look at the fact that in Europe, Two Steps From Hell holds huge outdoor rock-style concerts playing music like this with a full orchestra and they get major rock-concert-size crowds. Dammit, I’m living in the wrong place.
And then, when the 2SFH piece finished, YT swapped to Anna Lapwood playing Claire de Lune on the organ at Royal Albert. Effing glorious.
Well I wish to Blame @accelerator for the Heat Wave & now for the Big storm in both oceans, Flooding many places with a lot of Rain!
Also my Truck (belonged to my Dad) broke down, It needs an engine.
@mycya4me I worked for an organization entitled the Directed Energy Directorate as part of the Air Force Research Laboratory (AFRL) Among the many things we did in the Directed Energy R&D division was we ran a site in Alaska called HAARP. Some here may know about this site from conspiracy theories posted on the Internets. The theory goes that we directed radio waves into the atmosphere and thereby heated the ionosphere at our choice of place and time thereby creating hurricanes and other phenomena which could be used as weapons. I have to say, that’s all a bunch of garbage with absolutely no truth or validity. But, in light of the accusations, and as my appointment as goat has not yet expired, I am obliged to accept blame for the weather. Sorry, not sorry.
@accelerator @mycya4me
What a crazy conspiracy theory - everyone knows that extreme weather is caused by the flapping of a butterfly’s wings in some far away land!
@accelerator @macromeh @mycya4me wait I thought it was jewish space lasers?!?!
@accelerator You can be sorry or NOT sorry, you can’t do both. Plus I mentioned two Blames!
@accelerator @macromeh @unksol jewish space lasers? came latter. So that can’t be @accelerator it was MTG!
@mycya4me
I’ve heard of crooks stealing radios and catalytic converters for the copper, but stealing an engine?!?!? That’s pretty harsh.
@mycya4me my fault.I got caught up in the weather blame and forgot about your truck. That is my fault. But, you should thank me because you have saved probably a couple hundred on gas that old truck was sucking down. Everything that happens is good.
@accelerator But it still has a full tank of Gas. All I was using it for “Truck stuff” To the Dump/ Recycle center. & other stuff you need a Flat bed to cary stuff a Car is not big enough!
Plus it has a lot of sentimental value as it was my Dad’s truck. He passed/ when home 10 years ago. Yes I know it is tired!
@cfg83 No one stole an engine, it is just it is a 1998 Dodge Dakota… it blew a valve. Just as bad.
@mycya4me I definitely understand the value of your truck. I hope you can find the resources to get it back to working condition.
@accelerator Thank You, it is a 1998 Dodge Dakota, so it has had a Good life. But still it was Dad’s truck, I let him down! Got any spare magic/ Bucks you can spare???
@accelerator @mycya4me only a 1998? Poor… Girl? I miss the 99 saturn but the 97 expedition lives, and the 91 metro which is actually sentimental will live again. Burnt those exhaust valves bad
@accelerator @unksol I had one of the Early Saturn’s. I love the poly door panels. flex. But it got old. the Trans had to be rebuilt. the dealership offered the best price. last than another shop putting a new one. Tech said we know the issue, It is a common issue. of course the warranty was gone.
@accelerator @mycya4me so the most common issue with the saturn manual transmissions was that they used a small single roll split pin to hold the large differential pin in. And if that small pin broke. Say because you were rocking the car out of a snow drift. The diff pin will slide out and slowly carve a slot through the bottom of the transmission. And there goes all the fluid plus aluminum glitter throughout the transmission. Looks like antisieze.
They are actually really easy to swap though. You can just take the manual transmission out through the wheel well by hand and leave the engine in. And any manual worked in any year.
Dad happened to have a saturn that has been in an accident so I stole his transmission in a few hours. Junk yard would have been fine.
And then the correct way to prevent this is to either weld the diff pin in. Or drill out the retaining pin hole and put in a larger double rolled pin… Which they should have done from the factory and I still didn’t bother. I did take apart the destroyed transmission but I just wasn’t as rough on it. Made 250K+ miles before some rod knock and still drove. But was going to need an engine or rebuild and. Had taken some hits. Brakelines went.
She was a good girl. Had less than 100K miles when I bought her for like $1650. So I got 150K miles and 15 years… Plus fun to drive
@accelerator @mycya4me @unksol
Did you ever have to replace the intake manifold gasket? I did on my son’s Saturn (passed down from his aunt) - what a major PITA. There was just barely enough clearance between the manifold and the firewall to remove/replace the gasket. And that was with one of us prying the engine against the motor mounts to get that last 1/4 inch.
@accelerator @macromeh @unksol
No, I am not a Car mechanic. I can do simple stuff.
I have to take it to a Shop to have them do the Magic.
Oh BTW my Saturn had an Auto transmission.
I am a Computer Hardware mechanic (corp) & on the side gigs. (hey that help w/ extra funds) In other words You call the Helpless desk, they put in a ticket, either one of my Brothers or sisters in the Field or myself shows up w/ our Magic Wand & pixie dust. (very much like what Car mechanics have)
@accelerator @macromeh @mycya4me @unksol I wish my doctor had the magic wand. I asked mine once what he did with his that he got when he got his MD degree, I’d pay for new batteries. He just laughed at me.
@accelerator @Kidsandliz @macromeh @unksol Well the use of the Magic wand & pixie dust would really cost extra & not covered by insurance. So they don’t get to use it often!
Hmmm, just for fun …
/showme Cat on a hat eating a green hot dog
@cfg83 Here’s the image you requested for “Cat on a hat eating a green hot dog”