I did for a while. Got contacted by so many scammers that I luckily did not fall for. Then if they weren’t a scammer, they were married and checking to see if there was something better. One had the nerve to say it was okay his wife has dementia in a nursing home and he had a full prescription of viagra. So fuck all of them.
@ironcheftoni
Yep, that’s the problem with the internet/apps. Anonymity/lack of verification makes it hard to weed out the weasels.
Oh, and I’m pretty sure you meant
@chienfou@ironcheftoni despite Google making a conscious decision to intentionally make it’s search engine worse. So they could force people to do more searches.
@chienfou@ironcheftoni and if course it’s @werehatrack… I know someone one posted as a link at some point. Saved on a different phone but apparently the original is that old.
Regardless don’t accept a weasel in your dishwasher.
And this is not what this used to mean. I don’t think. But I guess there is some sort of trend going on with ticktock/social media about husbands/guys not knowing how to do anything. Or pretending like they don’t do they
don’t have to? Or refusing to learn?
Or just outrage bait?
“Social media” is the opposite of social.
If your husband is an asshole who wants you to be his mommy. Maybe work on that privately or get a divorce.
Granted I’ll never know why about tiktok or any of it.
And yes it’s a YouTube video. About performative social media.
If I were seeking a friend connection or something more I’d have to know the person or they’d have to come with recs from people I knew.
AHs on the net have gotten way too good and way too persistent about being narcissistic manipulative liars or fuckboys or fuckgirls on the net.
All the while “presenting” as wanting something serious.
Tons of guys go after committed “no kids” women. They think they can get her and then change her mind.
If these do connect, after she finds out he lied about that, he often owns up to having that strategy from first contact.
I totally understand why women give up on men. It’s too hard to vet them and find an even half decent one.
And too many men grew up online and have totally unreal expectations and no clue how to behave.
At least, speaking from the female side, tons of guys present as being nice and stable and a good human and all that. They learned the patter. So many are either incapable of really being all that or never intended to be all that long term. Or are deluded about themselves.
Or are just trying to get laid however.
If you wanna see this behavior in a tion then go to
r/niceguys
On Reddit.
It’s a small sample because the rules of the subreddit are that the guy has to present himself as virtuous while subtly or openly dissing the person he’s after.
So that limits people from posting a lot of total AH conduct that doesn’t fit that exact format.
Even with those limitations, there’s plenty.
Mostly people who suffered thru thus just post pic of the text chains with identfiers removed.
Reading that subreddit is either funny or vomit-worthy depending on one’s mood
—-
The real prob with dating apps … hmm
I let a lifelong best friend in the early text days of the internet off matchmaker. Together we put up a Fido BBS and as a sysop I let many more good friends including 2 more I’m in frequent touch with.
But the internet was a diff place the. The AHs hadn’t smelled the constant opportunity. Thr desperate or self-absorbed hasn’t yet mastered their fake personas and their BS.
You know how there’s a saying about currency (Gresham’s Law):
“Bad money drives out good”?
(Because who ya gonna spend known genuine currency into a market where much ur most if the currency is fake?
Your good currency is likely to lose value no matter what and if you spend it in a bad currency market you once get much of value back).
Dating apps are kinda like that.
In the beginning the internet was not dominated by AH corporations and AH people.
Nice people hung out on the net.
Then the AHs discovered lots of places where marks and victims and the naive hung out and they moved in for the kill.
At first just a few AHs. Then more and more until they dominated the interactions. The quality of the average experience fell sharply.
The good people finally quit.
Even that dating app where women had to message first didn’t really work. Because once again in an anonymous pool the size of the human population, it’s hard or impossible to socially vet people.
My parents generation either met in the war or at work or at a social event or at school … and, unless they met in the war, chances are, they had at least a few acquaintances in common.
People had local reputations and could often be sussed out as to character.
The current internet - and the current dating app scene - allows anyone to pretend to be anything.
We no more wanna date someone who reputation we don’t know or can’t check on than we want to go into business with someone totally strange to us.
A world wide “reputation tracker” wouldn’t help. People would just game the gell outta it.
and try to break it, abuse it, hack it, or pay for rep points. It would be completely untrustworthy.
The only way to know someone’s reputation is to know them over a period of time, or to know “referees” who know them well enough to have a good feel, and then “referees” will be totally fair and honest in giving an idea about them.
Way back when - in the 1930-2000 era people traveled and met people and dated and mated and much if that turned out tolerably well. But the still had the feel of being a “smaller world” then. People were often toward strangers the same as they would be toward their family’s best friends.
Too many people have learned that “decency is optional”. And that “social and emotional and financial responsibility are optional”.
I would have met and liked and trusted people far more quickly a few decades ago.
@f00l while I agree with a lot of that. And even the fact that arranged marriages can work in the correct circumstances especially when based on core shared beliefs. People were definitely meeting and quickly getting married right before shipping off for every war.
Granted yes. More things in common.
I completely get why you would never do it. Options are very different. I definitely don’t love the current internet. Never mind the AI slop/Agents. Epidemic of the manosphere…
For a lot of people it’s the modern equivalent of seeing someone across the bar which has always been a thing. The potential for easily lying to someone does seem significantly higher. But it kinda feels like that’s an across the board thing. For some people.
Very different generations and societal expectations. Still don’t think I would lol. But at some point ya gotta go where the people are
@Kyeh yeah I quit going one week because their director showed up one Saturday and was complaining to the staff id been helping for months that i must be a felon doing community service so why was I helping kids play with the kittens… After cleaning litter boxes and scooping poop before they opened…
Petty I know but… You just don’t want a guy there… Let it bother me more than it should
@unksol Oh WOW! That’s horrible! What a nasty minded person. Who drove away a really great volunteer. He/she could easily have checked to see if you were or not. That’s just vile.
@unksol@kyeh I have zero issues with the humane society, and I was definitely not one that picked up dates at bars. In all honesty, I’ve only ever dated people that I’ve been friends with first. Dating apps like most social media are terrible. Unless you’re really into non committal encounters. I’m sure there are genuine people on them, but for the most part, they seem like a breeding ground for ultra curated, disingenuous profiles. I have quite a few friends that try to utilize them and I’ve seen mostly toxicity radiating from them. So I stick to the hell no.
@Kyeh@sillyheathen I agree with only dating friends in general. That’s how I’ve always done it. So you could take it a different way. How are you meeting/engaging with people in general that is not social media. I’m a home body but community is definitely important considering certain… Ongoing issues
@sillyheathen@unksol You’ve said you like canoeing or kayaking, I think? Are there any groups around you that do trips? Seems like it might be a good way to meet people.
@Kyeh I don’t think she was trying to be vile. The local courts do allow the humane society as community service but only the poop scooping/back room stuff. I stuck around on Saturday to get cats out for the kids to play with. Get them toys. Etc.
I should have just confronted her but I didn’t need to be there and was offended and let it break the habit of going in. I could only on Saturday and Sunday anyway cause work… I just had a…
well fuck you moment
@unksol Yeah, but she could easily have checked on that. I used to people with community service time come in and help at the library but they were restricted to college kids with DUIs or other nonviolent offences. She could easily have checked on whether you were doing community service or not. Stupid of her.
@Kyeh she was not normally in on the weekend. Was the first time she had been there in the months I’d been coming in. Maybe she was having a bad day. Maybe I overreacted. Rage quitting by just not coming back probably wasn’t the best choice
@Kidsandliz@Kyeh and actually I’m not sure that was a good idea… Cause like someone’s daughter who was 18 worked there and I assume if something went sideways could have to testify in court. And I’m not sure she knew that… I mean the odds of community service mattering are about nil. But just a defense lawyer could call you in to verify their client did it so… Having an 18 yearold sign off is… Not a position to put them in
Nope. Got married 25 years ago. Back then dating apps existed but they certainly weren’t mainstream yet and I wouldn’t have expected to find anyone on them that I would have wanted to date.
If I found myself single in the future, I still don’t think Id use them, they seem to focus on the superficial. But if I were lonely… Who knows?
@unksol I know it’s easy to suggest things like this when it’s all theoretical and not on the front lines of the dating war… Far from the trenches… But…
I’d like to think joining clubs/organizations (on things that you find interesting, but maybe populated by a higher percentage of the opposite sex) might lead to meeting people with whom you have more of a connection to than online apps.
From my cozy position far from the booming cannons, I theorize that’s what I’d do. In practice, I imagine it’s very easy to resort to low effort online dating… But I suspect there are more fruitful ways… Personally. I’ve always wanted to learn swing dancing or salsa dancing… I suspect there are lots of single women that want to too. If I were single and tried that… Worst case scenario I’d learn to do something I already want to learn to do.
I do think you have to be respectful, if joining clubs/groups to meet people that you don’t step on other people’s safe-spaces and turn it into a lounge-scene but groups/classes/clubs seem to me like a potentially great way to meet people with similar interests.
Obviously, taking up yoga if you’re interested in women in yoga pants would be creepy, but finding a genuine connection with someone on a topic you both are genuinely interested in, is not.
@OnionSoup I guess TECHNICALLY I met the Englishman on an app but it wasn’t a dating app. We met on the ICQ when I was in middle or high school. We were friends for years before I ever made my way across the pond. And even then it wasn’t romantic until he tried to set me up with his best mate. That was weird and he and I wound up together. We’ve been together for 26 years now.
@sillyheathen I remember ICQ and BBS and various chat rooms. Ironically, I would say back then they were ways of meeting people with similar interests… More so than dating apps.
@OnionSoup this is all valid. Maybe how are you meeting people would have been better. Dating apps can imply sex as a primary goal which wasn’t even a priority. Just making friends lol
@kuoh@phendrick I try to pay as little attention as necessary to the ones making more money because they are coporate managers saying crap and I have work to do…
@phendrick lol I got it. I chose to apply it to ignoring people who may be overpaid vs the gold digging angle. My sense of humor may be slightly off center lol
Ok, if you are looking for what’s the best app, I can give you my experiences and experiences of my friends.
Free apps. Don’t bother. That’s where the most scammers live… the last one I was on was ok cupid. Once you weeded out the scammers, it was okay. Went on a few dates from there. I think I found the three in my area not in the descriptions noted above. But after about 3 or 4 dates, the crazy started showing. Of course they could have said the same thing about me.
Paid sites, I did Our Time for a little while. Met one nice guy but neither one of us followed up after the first date. Just our real lives kept getting in the way. He actually lives in my neighborhood so we see each other in passing from time to time
Friends experiences…
One couple met on eharmony . Been married over 20 years. Although eharmony’s initial hetro only policy sort of irritated me.
Another couple met on tinder. Dated two years and 7 years later getting divorced as he got busted for a couple of million in Medicare fraud, got convicted and looking at 5 years in club fed. Do not reccomend.
Haven’t. Don’t plan to. Have heard stories about the results which mostly fall in the range from “disappointing” to “hilariously gone wrong”. (One actual success, several “I’m damned glad I didn’t give that one my contact info.”)
I’m good for now, happy and in love.
I never needed a dating app in the past, don’t think they were around last time I was single in 1990. In the past I met guys (boyfriends) at school, through friends, bars, and 12 step meetings. I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t be going to any of those places when and IF the time comes that I find myself single again. I’m not even sure I’d want to be with another guy but if I do I would probably at least fill out a profile and see what the dating apps are about first hand. If nothing else it would be a fun and new experience. Kinda like going to prison was. Lol
I’d think I, or your friend , might be better off meeting someone here or in a similar groups where there’s common interests. Or out in the wild while doing something you love as others have suggested, a hobby or something like that. Good luck to your friend , and whoever else is looking for love!
@unksol
That’s funny, I always assumed that we were around the same age. Maybe, either you are more mature or I’m just feeling like I’m 35, the age I feel like I am in my mind.
And I’ve got memories from as far back as nursery school, 3 to 4 years old!
Doesn’t everyone…? Lol
Lol Well obviously you didn’t miss it you just neglected to ask me to elaborate…
Just one of life’s little lessons that actually saved my life. Addiction sucks and that was a tough period a very VERY long time ago. Nothing to be proud about but I’m most certainly not ashamed of it either. You’re welcome to ask me questions…
@Lynnerizer was just offering the opportunity to tell a story if you wanted since you volunteered the info. I’ve spent a night in jail. Although not for the current better reasons.
Shit happens. Nobody is really judgemental out here safe from the social media shit storm. Little harbor of sanity.
Ha, I wouldn’t know where to start!
You might have seen how my stories can be… I always try to be as thorough as I am transparent and some of THIS stuff gets pretty deep! Questions just seemed so much easier…
I’d always pictured myself going into schools trying to help kids by sharing some of my story, letting them know they’re not alone or at fault when they find themselves in a traumatic situation or have been violated in any way. I only WISH I had been given options to make better choices.
Writing a book has been my second lifelong dream. I’d tell about all of the messed up and crazy experiences I’ve either put myself through or just found myself in, those happenstances. It’s kind of crazy to me how one person can have so many things happen to them, things that NO ONE would want and things that most people only read about! Life’s been quite messy at times and I’m grateful to still be here to talk about it! 🫠
Since I’m approaching my 49th wedding anniversary this fall it seems unlikely I’ll be using a dating app anytime soon… unless SWMBO gets annoyed with me enough to put me to the curb.
I think part of the problem is actively seeking someone. When a relationship is developed over time and organically it’s a lot less forced/seems like less desperation. When you go in to something with the intention of finding a mate that creates a bunch of potentially bad outcomes/emotions.
Of course, I have the benefit of being outgoing, so, if you’re a lot more introverted, that creates a whole other level of complications.
@chienfou this is all true. And obviously if you grow up in a community it’s way easier to find someone when you’re younger. Having core principals in common obviously is what you want. Vs “I like hiking”
Religion sometimes does that well although the way Christianity is corrupted these days… Granted none of the churches i went to as a kid would have that issue.
@chienfou
Great points and I totally agree with you!
I think the younger generations have a tougher time dating in today’s world than we did. And if you’re not outgoing it’s extra tough. My goodness, we sure did have it good, didn’t we!
@chienfou@unksol My wife and I have been married for almost 35 years. We both worked at the same big tech company, knew each other, but were married to other people. After about 8 years, we both found ourselves single and started dating. About a year later we were married and have remained (happily ) so.
I had middling success with OkCupid prior to my first marriage. After that divorce, I had much better success with OkCupid (and ultimately ended up meeting my second wife on the platform). Before meeting her, I did try Bumble (a few first dates but nothing beyond that). Tinder never went anywhere.
@SaintO yeah tinder would have never been in the cards. I’ve never used one but I was thinking more like match.com or something. However that works lol. Anything that’s just to get a date would go off the table immediately
Maybe we need a “hey you wanna hang out and be a dork doing xyz” app lol. They still post that kinda stuff on Craigslist.
Like everything population density matters for anything online vs just. Your neighbors
@Kyeh I mean yes but that looks like it’s twitter and I don’t think I want that anywhere near me lol.
I think I could accept Instagram or something. Facebook would be a hard sell. But if you’re on twitter and not for work. I… Am not going to be on any of it with you. And I may question your choices/compatibility at the start.
I just want none of it. Just text me.
I do like the thermostat. I can compromise on that until I start sweating lol.
Dad didn’t let anyone touch the thermostat. Like let’s not set it to 85 but it doesn’t have to be 60 there’s some room there lol
@unksol Nah, I’m not on Xitter either. It’s from an account on Instagram of a guy who regularly posts funny stuff that I can often relate to really well.
@Kyeh@therealjrn eh. The bookshelves are a mile down the road although I have not used them much lately. If I had a copy of everything I read when I was a kid we’d have problems. Bookshelves seem kinda weird to me unless they have reference material cause how many books do you read repeatedly?
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
If you buy every book you read out of principal to support the author and like physical media/don’t want amazon getting a cut I would totally get that. There’s a bunch of stuff in boxes although they aren’t doing any good there… Maybe I should a see if someone else wants to read them now
@therealjrn@unksol For the guy who posted that, a lack of books would be enough info to make him swipe left. He’s a writer and loves books and libraries.
@Kyeh@therealjrn I got that but people read on kindle/just go to the library. Tell me what you’ve read is obviously less satisfying/doesn’t work with the premise.
@f00l@Kyeh@therealjrn lol I’d just have a bunch of Stephen Ambrose and Star Wars/SciFi. I don’t remember who the authors were on most of the non fiction. If it was in a section of the library I was interested in. And you wrote a good book. I proceeded to find the rest of your books in that section in rapid succession. And was a kid so couldn’t afford them. Man its been a while. I feel so old some days lol.
If I owned physical copies I’d need a damned big house.
My wife addressed that problem by starting a local community library. She is now queen (AKA library director) of a large collection of books in their own building.
@f00l@Kyeh@therealjrn@unksol Yeah, she started out volunteering at the library of the grade school where our kids attended. Then she and the school librarian created a section where the local public could check out books. Eventually, she (and a growing group of volunteers) managed to raise funds to open a small public library in a part of a building shared with a coffee bar. That grew enough that they moved to a standalone building. All volunteers from the community, until this year when they wrangled enough grant money to hire a part-time person.
Now, after 20+ years, shes working on finding someone else to run the show.
@f00l@macromeh@therealjrn@unksol Oh, my word! I get the emais when I’m @-ed, so I saw the photo & didn’t remember this conversation. My first thought was “who’s that movie star?”
@f00l@Kyeh@therealjrn@unksol This photo was taken a bit before we started dating. It was for a ( humorous) promotional flyer that was sent out to the sales offices of the big tech company where we both worked. The DeLorean she’s leaning on was owned by one of the managers in her marketing department. She even had a company photo ID badge made with this character and the name “Trixie”. (We also have a life-sized poster of this shot. Fun times!)
@Kyeh@therealjrn my problem here is that in this scenario one of said cats would eventually piss on my bookshelf and ruin some books.
I of course realize that this is not a problem normally. And the books I have would be cheaper than the electronics they have ruined… But… Don’t have books for display. Paper backs. Goodwill stuff.
Again if you like to buy nice hardbound books to support the author. I totally understand that. And admittedly I have not been reading much in the last decade. But before that it was the library .
I think the last one hardback I read was a compilation from James Herriot a while ago that my grandma gave me Decades after his death.
@therealjrn@unksol Those books in that picture look like “interior decorator” books to me. I’ve actually seen little bundles of old books tied up with twine for sale at Home Goods, nothing you’d want to actually read, but pretty looking covers.
@Kyeh@therealjrn I mean you can get like Sherlock Holmes and other classics in that style. And I read all of Sherlock Holmes. From the library.
My grandpa and grandma used to go to garage sales and have a flea market booth where they had local auctions and buy and sell stuff. Grandpa did more the mechanical stuff. And marbles.
Grandma had a shelf full of hard back Hardy Boys/Nancy Drew/Tom Swift I think she acquired there. I have no idea what the oldest one was but they were on a… 3-4 foot shelf in a living room. And younger kids would stay a few weeks with them when we were in summer and get to go to the auctions and yard sales. And you could always grab a book to read even though they were old.
That’s more my style.
Also
“Keep your elbows off the table.
This is not a horses stable.
But a first class dining room”
I think I have seen everyone with their elbows on the table since but… Lol
@therealjrn@unksol nice memories! I didn’t have grandparents nearby but for a little while we had neighbors who treated me like a granddaughter. They had the books their 4 boys read growing up (they were college age by then) so I read all the A. A. Milne books there.
And I was always reading library books. We lived in Reno for a while and I’d walk to the beautiful public library (it had trees inside it!) or to the campus library where my father worked and stock up every week or so. At that UofN library they had a complete collection of the original weird Oz books with the crazy illustrations. Those were fun!
@Kyeh@therealjrn I think there is just the original one wizard of oz series? Don’t they have pumpkin head in them?
I don’t really remember individual books this many years later but I remember bits of those. I know I tore through the black stallion series in early elementary. I’m the mid 90s. And we had card catalogs. Pattern if it was good. To me. As a kid. Must have the rest
Monochrome green/orange terminals with those beige mechanical keyboards were so satisfying before we were allowed computers
@therealjrn@unksol I meant the original editions, with the very Art Nouveau illustrations, not the more recent editions published after the movie came out. The pictures were wild!
@Kyeh@therealjrn those would have been cool. We obviously just had the standard library books. Cause small private schools and a lot of “classics”.
But it was still a bit of a revelation as a young kid when our teacher was like. "You all know wizard of oz from the movie? Well it wasn’t really the way and lets read about pumpkin head and the rest of the oz “universe” that was written in the early 1900s…
Which kinda blows your mind as a kid. Also free personal pan Pizza! BookIt!
@therealjrn@unksol I never got free personal pizzas! But I just loved to read all the time.
I was checking out my Oz books from the Univ. of Nevada college library. I suppose they were there as part of an educator’s collection or something.
When clearly it was marketing cause you can’t just take one kid. You’re gonna have to at least buy everyone a slice. Plus some goodwill…
Lol maybe at somepoint… It was not that but… Hard to pull off family dinner with a personal pan pizza in the middle. Other than. We are having pizza and you get your special one cause you earned it
We had first editions growing up that my great grandmother had bought for her children.
They had been drawn on by generations of kids. These books are still in the family somewhere.
My parents read them to us so often that we learned them by heart long before we were reading.
Still love them.
Those turn of the century and Edwardian and early Georgian era drawings in those books are so gorgeous.
The way the copyright pages were done by the original artist
(Was it John R Neill?),
who incorporated the original publication date into a beautiful illustration.
The entire copyright page of the first editions is an incredible work of art.
This had made it complicated to publish later editions and to tell them apart from firsts, if the later edition reproduced the entire art from the original book in the later edition.
(Or that’s what a rare book specialist told me. That was maybe 4 decades ago and I don’t remember the details of what he said).
@Kyeh Smart, actually. Think of all the time and money he saved not going on all those Gumboless dates! We men need very little to be happy. It’s a Gumbo life for me!
I make friends. Though for people I know who use dating apps, they make multiple profiles that are slightly different and wind up meeting only people who’ve “passed” a majority of them.
Ironically two friends who met their future spouse this way, their spouses were also casting the same kind of net. It was really frightening how close they planned things (though looking at them side-by-side, they don’t “match”; it’s only when they start doing things in tandem it looks like they’re creepy twins).
@pakopako IDK if you’ve noticed but people don’t have friends these days. Just statistically. Across multiple surveys. I’ll be completely honest I have none that I check in on. Which is just me.
I absolutely would come if they needed help. But they aren’t here. IDK their kids names.
The whole net thing would. Not be doable. I’m just. What I am. I probably should get some hobbies honestly. I’ve just been working forever… And putting things on the side…
@pakopako@unksol if I were single and trying to meet someone, I probably would be more social, join more clubs/groups etc.
But, I don’t really have friends anymore… most of my closest friends in my life have been girls/women. Most of my best friends in life have been platonic relationships with women, (that’s actually how I met my wife- she was the sister of one of my best friends back then).
My wife isn’t the jealous kind, and is OK with me having friends that are women (she knows I have zero desire to cheat); BUT, it still is a little awkward having close across-gender friendships when married. I maintained some of my friendships for years after marriage but they all evaporated over time and I haven’t made any new ones.
I don’t know why, but haven’t had a friendship with a guy (friendly with plenty but none I’d call friend) since I was in University. I just prefer the company of women… and being married that doesn’t happen anymore (not that my wife would have a problem with it). My wife fills the role of wife/best friend/only friend these days.
@OnionSoup@pakopako hence the need for a wife lol. But yeah. I don’t really feel lonely. I’m pretty good. I don’t need to be your best friend to come help. I like fixing things. If you have a problem I’ll help.
The old shirt.woot forums was a dating site.
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Also:
Also also:
@narfcake I just can’t trust the word of a man with a massive pile of cat shirts with no actual cat.
SHOW ME THE CATS.
lol
I did for a while. Got contacted by so many scammers that I luckily did not fall for. Then if they weren’t a scammer, they were married and checking to see if there was something better. One had the nerve to say it was okay his wife has dementia in a nursing home and he had a full prescription of viagra.
So fuck all of them.
@ironcheftoni well that’s awful. Also would be looking for a serious one vs ya know. That
@ironcheftoni
Yep, that’s the problem with the internet/apps. Anonymity/lack of verification makes it hard to weed out the weasels.
Oh, and I’m pretty sure you meant
@chienfou @ironcheftoni I have heard weasels are especially problematic with the dishwasher.
@chienfou @ironcheftoni despite Google making a conscious decision to intentionally make it’s search engine worse. So they could force people to do more searches.
It can be done.
https://meh.com/forum/topics/6-pack-of-assorted-terrapin-ridge-farm-garnishing-squeezes-spicy-or-savory#623dc9547d9f2c001b685845
I do think there was an earlier one
@chienfou @ironcheftoni and if course it’s @werehatrack… I know someone one posted as a link at some point. Saved on a different phone but apparently the original is that old.
Regardless don’t accept a weasel in your dishwasher.
And this is not what this used to mean. I don’t think. But I guess there is some sort of trend going on with ticktock/social media about husbands/guys not knowing how to do anything. Or pretending like they don’t do they
don’t have to? Or refusing to learn?
Or just outrage bait?
“Social media” is the opposite of social.
If your husband is an asshole who wants you to be his mommy. Maybe work on that privately or get a divorce.
Granted I’ll never know why about tiktok or any of it.
And yes it’s a YouTube video. About performative social media.
@chienfou @ironcheftoni @unksol Ahem. The original Weasel Help page.
http://jacquemarshall.net/words/weasel.html
@chienfou @ironcheftoni @werehatrack thanks I figured you probably had it lol.
Not in this universe or any alt universe.
/giphy NO!
@f00l lol I feel that way about all social media but some people met on like match or bumble etc.
I doubt we have a large tinder population just cause… The meh demographic. And my friend would not be into that
@unksol
If I were seeking a friend connection or something more I’d have to know the person or they’d have to come with recs from people I knew.
AHs on the net have gotten way too good and way too persistent about being narcissistic manipulative liars or fuckboys or fuckgirls on the net.
All the while “presenting” as wanting something serious.
Tons of guys go after committed “no kids” women. They think they can get her and then change her mind.
If these do connect, after she finds out he lied about that, he often owns up to having that strategy from first contact.
I totally understand why women give up on men. It’s too hard to vet them and find an even half decent one.
And too many men grew up online and have totally unreal expectations and no clue how to behave.
At least, speaking from the female side, tons of guys present as being nice and stable and a good human and all that. They learned the patter. So many are either incapable of really being all that or never intended to be all that long term. Or are deluded about themselves.
Or are just trying to get laid however.
If you wanna see this behavior in a tion then go to
r/niceguys
On Reddit.
It’s a small sample because the rules of the subreddit are that the guy has to present himself as virtuous while subtly or openly dissing the person he’s after.
So that limits people from posting a lot of total AH conduct that doesn’t fit that exact format.
Even with those limitations, there’s plenty.
Mostly people who suffered thru thus just post pic of the text chains with identfiers removed.
Reading that subreddit is either funny or vomit-worthy depending on one’s mood
—-
The real prob with dating apps … hmm
I let a lifelong best friend in the early text days of the internet off matchmaker. Together we put up a Fido BBS and as a sysop I let many more good friends including 2 more I’m in frequent touch with.
But the internet was a diff place the. The AHs hadn’t smelled the constant opportunity. Thr desperate or self-absorbed hasn’t yet mastered their fake personas and their BS.
You know how there’s a saying about currency (Gresham’s Law):
“Bad money drives out good”?
(Because who ya gonna spend known genuine currency into a market where much ur most if the currency is fake?
Your good currency is likely to lose value no matter what and if you spend it in a bad currency market you once get much of value back).
Dating apps are kinda like that.
In the beginning the internet was not dominated by AH corporations and AH people.
Nice people hung out on the net.
Then the AHs discovered lots of places where marks and victims and the naive hung out and they moved in for the kill.
At first just a few AHs. Then more and more until they dominated the interactions. The quality of the average experience fell sharply.
The good people finally quit.
Even that dating app where women had to message first didn’t really work. Because once again in an anonymous pool the size of the human population, it’s hard or impossible to socially vet people.
My parents generation either met in the war or at work or at a social event or at school … and, unless they met in the war, chances are, they had at least a few acquaintances in common.
People had local reputations and could often be sussed out as to character.
The current internet - and the current dating app scene - allows anyone to pretend to be anything.
We no more wanna date someone who reputation we don’t know or can’t check on than we want to go into business with someone totally strange to us.
A world wide “reputation tracker” wouldn’t help. People would just game the gell outta it.
and try to break it, abuse it, hack it, or pay for rep points. It would be completely untrustworthy.
The only way to know someone’s reputation is to know them over a period of time, or to know “referees” who know them well enough to have a good feel, and then “referees” will be totally fair and honest in giving an idea about them.
Way back when - in the 1930-2000 era people traveled and met people and dated and mated and much if that turned out tolerably well. But the still had the feel of being a “smaller world” then. People were often toward strangers the same as they would be toward their family’s best friends.
Too many people have learned that “decency is optional”. And that “social and emotional and financial responsibility are optional”.
I would have met and liked and trusted people far more quickly a few decades ago.
@f00l while I agree with a lot of that. And even the fact that arranged marriages can work in the correct circumstances especially when based on core shared beliefs. People were definitely meeting and quickly getting married right before shipping off for every war.
Granted yes. More things in common.
I completely get why you would never do it. Options are very different. I definitely don’t love the current internet. Never mind the AI slop/Agents. Epidemic of the manosphere…
For a lot of people it’s the modern equivalent of seeing someone across the bar which has always been a thing. The potential for easily lying to someone does seem significantly higher. But it kinda feels like that’s an across the board thing. For some people.
Very different generations and societal expectations. Still don’t think I would lol. But at some point ya gotta go where the people are
That would be a HELL no!
@sillyheathen so what you met at a bar? Lol?. The local habitat for humanity chapter?
I enjoyed some time at the local humane society years ago. Did involve scooping some shit.
Also upgraded their leaky pressure washer
@sillyheathen @unksol I think you should try the Humane Society again! Meet a woman who loves cats!!!
@Kyeh yeah I quit going one week because their director showed up one Saturday and was complaining to the staff id been helping for months that i must be a felon doing community service so why was I helping kids play with the kittens… After cleaning litter boxes and scooping poop before they opened…
Petty I know but… You just don’t want a guy there… Let it bother me more than it should
@unksol
Oh WOW! That’s horrible! What a nasty minded person. Who drove away a really great volunteer. He/she could easily have checked to see if you were or not. That’s just vile.
@unksol @kyeh I have zero issues with the humane society, and I was definitely not one that picked up dates at bars.
In all honesty, I’ve only ever dated people that I’ve been friends with first. Dating apps like most social media are terrible. Unless you’re really into non committal encounters. I’m sure there are genuine people on them, but for the most part, they seem like a breeding ground for ultra curated, disingenuous profiles. I have quite a few friends that try to utilize them and I’ve seen mostly toxicity radiating from them. So I stick to the hell no. 
@Kyeh @sillyheathen I agree with only dating friends in general. That’s how I’ve always done it. So you could take it a different way. How are you meeting/engaging with people in general that is not social media. I’m a home body but community is definitely important considering certain… Ongoing issues
@sillyheathen @unksol You’ve said you like canoeing or kayaking, I think? Are there any groups around you that do trips? Seems like it might be a good way to meet people.
@Kyeh I don’t think she was trying to be vile. The local courts do allow the humane society as community service but only the poop scooping/back room stuff. I stuck around on Saturday to get cats out for the kids to play with. Get them toys. Etc.
I should have just confronted her but I didn’t need to be there and was offended and let it break the habit of going in. I could only on Saturday and Sunday anyway cause work… I just had a…
well fuck you moment
@unksol Yeah, but she could easily have checked on that. I used to people with community service time come in and help at the library but they were restricted to college kids with DUIs or other nonviolent offences. She could easily have checked on whether you were doing community service or not. Stupid of her.
@Kyeh she was not normally in on the weekend. Was the first time she had been there in the months I’d been coming in. Maybe she was having a bad day. Maybe I overreacted. Rage quitting by just not coming back probably wasn’t the best choice
@Kyeh @unksol Not to mention if he was doing community service the director would have to sign off on paperwork and keep track of hours he came.
@Kidsandliz @unksol That’s right! I forgot about that but I had to do that for ours.
@Kidsandliz @Kyeh staff just had to sign for them so since she was never there on weekends. Meh
@Kidsandliz @Kyeh and actually I’m not sure that was a good idea… Cause like someone’s daughter who was 18 worked there and I assume if something went sideways could have to testify in court. And I’m not sure she knew that… I mean the odds of community service mattering are about nil. But just a defense lawyer could call you in to verify their client did it so… Having an 18 yearold sign off is… Not a position to put them in
Nope. Got married 25 years ago. Back then dating apps existed but they certainly weren’t mainstream yet and I wouldn’t have expected to find anyone on them that I would have wanted to date.
If I found myself single in the future, I still don’t think Id use them, they seem to focus on the superficial. But if I were lonely… Who knows?
@OnionSoup I agree in general. I’ve only ever really clicked with someone via a shared activity we just happened to both be doing. Sometimes just work
@unksol I know it’s easy to suggest things like this when it’s all theoretical and not on the front lines of the dating war… Far from the trenches… But…
I’d like to think joining clubs/organizations (on things that you find interesting, but maybe populated by a higher percentage of the opposite sex) might lead to meeting people with whom you have more of a connection to than online apps.
From my cozy position far from the booming cannons, I theorize that’s what I’d do. In practice, I imagine it’s very easy to resort to low effort online dating… But I suspect there are more fruitful ways… Personally. I’ve always wanted to learn swing dancing or salsa dancing… I suspect there are lots of single women that want to too. If I were single and tried that… Worst case scenario I’d learn to do something I already want to learn to do.
I do think you have to be respectful, if joining clubs/groups to meet people that you don’t step on other people’s safe-spaces and turn it into a lounge-scene but groups/classes/clubs seem to me like a potentially great way to meet people with similar interests.
Obviously, taking up yoga if you’re interested in women in yoga pants would be creepy, but finding a genuine connection with someone on a topic you both are genuinely interested in, is not.
@OnionSoup I guess TECHNICALLY I met the Englishman on an app but it wasn’t a dating app. We met on the ICQ when I was in middle or high school. We were friends for years before I ever made my way across the pond. And even then it wasn’t romantic until he tried to set me up with his best mate. That was weird and he and I wound up together. We’ve been together for 26 years now.
@sillyheathen I remember ICQ and BBS and various chat rooms. Ironically, I would say back then they were ways of meeting people with similar interests… More so than dating apps.
@OnionSoup this is all valid. Maybe how are you meeting people would have been better. Dating apps can imply sex as a primary goal which wasn’t even a priority. Just making friends lol
Hence the more relationship focused ones
@sillyheathen
I have no idea why but it’s always amused me that you use “the Englishman”
It’s just an adorable pet name
@OnionSoup I concur
Everyday, at work. It’s called Outlook calendar and I don’t like any of the dates that come up.
KuoH
@kuoh hahahaha yes!
@kuoh Just pay attention to the ones who make more money than you.
Some people do that for dating apps in general.
@kuoh @phendrick I try to pay as little attention as necessary to the ones making more money because they are coporate managers saying crap and I have work to do…
@phendrick @unksol The only ones I I ever find appealing are the ones that start with “ON VA”
KuoH
@unksol You also seem to pay little attention to sarcasm.
@phendrick lol I got it. I chose to apply it to ignoring people who may be overpaid vs the gold digging angle. My sense of humor may be slightly off center lol
Ok, if you are looking for what’s the best app, I can give you my experiences and experiences of my friends.
Free apps. Don’t bother. That’s where the most scammers live… the last one I was on was ok cupid. Once you weeded out the scammers, it was okay. Went on a few dates from there. I think I found the three in my area not in the descriptions noted above. But after about 3 or 4 dates, the crazy started showing. Of course they could have said the same thing about me.
Paid sites, I did Our Time for a little while. Met one nice guy but neither one of us followed up after the first date. Just our real lives kept getting in the way. He actually lives in my neighborhood so we see each other in passing from time to time
Friends experiences…
One couple met on eharmony . Been married over 20 years. Although eharmony’s initial hetro only policy sort of irritated me.
Another couple met on tinder. Dated two years and 7 years later getting divorced as he got busted for a couple of million in Medicare fraud, got convicted and looking at 5 years in club fed. Do not reccomend.
Haven’t. Don’t plan to. Have heard stories about the results which mostly fall in the range from “disappointing” to “hilariously gone wrong”. (One actual success, several “I’m damned glad I didn’t give that one my contact info.”)
Yes, I would like to… with carbon.
@ItalianScallion uttered “…with carbon.”
I’m good for now, happy and in love.
In the past I met guys (boyfriends) at school, through friends, bars, and 12 step meetings. I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t be going to any of those places when and IF the time comes that I find myself single again. 
I’m not even sure I’d want to be with another guy but if I do I would probably at least fill out a profile and see what the dating apps are about first hand. If nothing else it would be a fun and new experience. 
Kinda like going to prison was. Lol 
, might be better off meeting someone here or in a similar groups where there’s common interests. Or out in the wild while doing something you love as others have suggested, a hobby or something like that. Good luck to your friend 
, and whoever else is looking for love! 
I never needed a dating app in the past, don’t think they were around last time I was single in 1990.
I’d think I, or your friend
@Lynnerizer happy for you.
I was 5 in 1990/not sure id formed my first memory
@unksol
Lol 
That’s funny, I always assumed that we were around the same age. Maybe, either you are more mature or I’m just feeling like I’m 35, the age I feel like I am in my mind.
And I’ve got memories from as far back as nursery school, 3 to 4 years old!
Doesn’t everyone…?
@Lynnerizer @unksol You guys planning on starting up an Only Meh site or something? BOC, FUKU and IRKs might take on whole new meanings.
KuoH
@Lynnerizer lol I’m 40. But I’m both anti technology in some very specific areas. Even though I’m a electric engineer and a programmer.
Social media is a toxin… I’m definitely on the elder millennial side.
Waiting for it to warm up to reassemble the metro. I’ve had the engine back from the shop for a few months
@kuoh @unksol
No, but you know, you could be onto something there…
…
Lol
@unksol
Definitely sounds like an old soul to me… And I had forgotten, a fellow gear head! Yay for warmer weather!
Vroom Vroom…
@Lynnerizer totally not watching project farm review brake cleaner
@unksol
Nope, of course you’re not… Lol
@Lynnerizer wait I think we missed something.
"Kinda like going to prison was. Lol "
@unksol
Lol
Well obviously you didn’t miss it you just neglected to ask me to elaborate… 
Addiction sucks and that was a tough period a very VERY long time ago. Nothing to be proud about but I’m most certainly not ashamed of it either. 
You’re welcome to ask me questions… 
Just one of life’s little lessons that actually saved my life.
@Lynnerizer was just offering the opportunity to tell a story if you wanted since you volunteered the info. I’ve spent a night in jail. Although not for the current better reasons.
Shit happens. Nobody is really judgemental out here safe from the social media shit storm. Little harbor of sanity.
@unksol
Ha, I wouldn’t know where to start!
I always try to be as thorough as I am transparent and some of THIS stuff gets pretty deep! 
Questions just seemed so much easier… 
You might have seen how my stories can be…
I’d always pictured myself going into schools trying to help kids by sharing some of my story, letting them know they’re not alone or at fault when they find themselves in a traumatic situation or have been violated in any way. I only WISH I had been given options to make better choices.
Writing a book has been my second lifelong dream.
I’d tell about all of the messed up and crazy experiences I’ve either put myself through or just found myself in, those happenstances. 
It’s kind of crazy to me how one person can have so many things happen to them, things that NO ONE would want and things that most people only read about! Life’s been quite messy at times and I’m grateful to still be here to talk about it! 
🫠
Since I’m approaching my 49th wedding anniversary this fall it seems unlikely I’ll be using a dating app anytime soon… unless SWMBO gets annoyed with me enough to put me to the curb.
I think part of the problem is actively seeking someone. When a relationship is developed over time and organically it’s a lot less forced/seems like less desperation. When you go in to something with the intention of finding a mate that creates a bunch of potentially bad outcomes/emotions.
Of course, I have the benefit of being outgoing, so, if you’re a lot more introverted, that creates a whole other level of complications.
@chienfou this is all true. And obviously if you grow up in a community it’s way easier to find someone when you’re younger. Having core principals in common obviously is what you want. Vs “I like hiking”
Religion sometimes does that well although the way Christianity is corrupted these days… Granted none of the churches i went to as a kid would have that issue.
@chienfou
Great points and I totally agree with you!
I think the younger generations have a tougher time dating in today’s world than we did. And if you’re not outgoing it’s extra tough. My goodness, we sure did have it good, didn’t we!
@chienfou @Lynnerizer lol I’m definitely an introvert but i planned things differently. Just thinking about things lol
@chienfou @unksol My wife and I have been married for almost 35 years. We both worked at the same big tech company, knew each other, but were married to other people. After about 8 years, we both found ourselves single and started dating. About a year later we were married and have remained (happily
) so.
I had middling success with OkCupid prior to my first marriage. After that divorce, I had much better success with OkCupid (and ultimately ended up meeting my second wife on the platform). Before meeting her, I did try Bumble (a few first dates but nothing beyond that). Tinder never went anywhere.
@SaintO yeah tinder would have never been in the cards. I’ve never used one but I was thinking more like match.com or something. However that works lol. Anything that’s just to get a date would go off the table immediately
Maybe we need a “hey you wanna hang out and be a dork doing xyz” app lol. They still post that kinda stuff on Craigslist.
Like everything population density matters for anything online vs just. Your neighbors
@Kyeh I mean yes but that looks like it’s twitter and I don’t think I want that anywhere near me lol.
I think I could accept Instagram or something. Facebook would be a hard sell. But if you’re on twitter and not for work. I… Am not going to be on any of it with you. And I may question your choices/compatibility at the start.
I just want none of it. Just text me.
I do like the thermostat. I can compromise on that until I start sweating lol.
Dad didn’t let anyone touch the thermostat. Like let’s not set it to 85 but it doesn’t have to be 60 there’s some room there lol
@unksol Nah, I’m not on Xitter either. It’s from an account on Instagram of a guy who regularly posts funny stuff that I can often relate to really well.
@Kyeh @unksol
I think that guy just invented the perfect dating app! Where’s his kickstarter?
@Kyeh @therealjrn people still having bookshelves might be a stretch lol. Browser/search history? But then you lose the piece of your house bit
@Kyeh
Well mister, that there is a qualifying question. No bookshelves? No date.
See? It’s pretty awesome.
And my browser history? I don’t have one
VAN MURALS! GROUND SQUIRRELS! SPIT CURLS! AWESOME!
@Kyeh @therealjrn eh. The bookshelves are a mile down the road although I have not used them much lately. If I had a copy of everything I read when I was a kid we’d have problems. Bookshelves seem kinda weird to me unless they have reference material cause how many books do you read repeatedly?
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
If you buy every book you read out of principal to support the author and like physical media/don’t want amazon getting a cut I would totally get that. There’s a bunch of stuff in boxes although they aren’t doing any good there… Maybe I should a see if someone else wants to read them now
@therealjrn @unksol For the guy who posted that, a lack of books would be enough info to make him swipe left. He’s a writer and loves books and libraries.
@Kyeh @therealjrn I got that but people read on kindle/just go to the library. Tell me what you’ve read is obviously less satisfying/doesn’t work with the premise.
@Kyeh
Absolutely not and obviously you’re getting swiped left for even thinking that!
@Kyeh @therealjrn lol well I’m not looking to date him. Or you. To make it public it might require a little more. And no swiping
@Kyeh @therealjrn @unksol
Most of my books are ebooks or audiobooks.
If I owned physical copies I’d need a damned big house.
@f00l @therealjrn @unksol
I suppose there could be a thread for book lovers without physical books, just the titles. Because those tell you a lot.
@f00l @Kyeh @therealjrn lol I’d just have a bunch of Stephen Ambrose and Star Wars/SciFi. I don’t remember who the authors were on most of the non fiction. If it was in a section of the library I was interested in. And you wrote a good book. I proceeded to find the rest of your books in that section in rapid succession. And was a kid so couldn’t afford them. Man its been a while. I feel so old some days lol.
@f00l @Kyeh
Don’t you have like 12 mouths to feed now @unksol?
@f00l @Kyeh @therealjrn
Costco makes very good cat food. Even though it’s an hour drive.
Something something when it was freezing cold and the snow was deep I started feeding an outside black cat… Cause I thought they might die.
Found out friday there’s at least two black cats. Which explains some things. When the weather is better it may be TNR time.
@f00l @Kyeh @therealjrn @unksol
My wife addressed that problem by starting a local community library. She is now queen (AKA library director) of a large collection of books in their own building.
@f00l @macromeh @therealjrn @unksol Wow, she started it? That’s impressive!
@f00l @Kyeh @macromeh @unksol
That’s pretty cool! Good way to solve the storage and organizational problems!
@f00l @Kyeh @therealjrn @unksol Yeah, she started out volunteering at the library of the grade school where our kids attended. Then she and the school librarian created a section where the local public could check out books. Eventually, she (and a growing group of volunteers) managed to raise funds to open a small public library in a part of a building shared with a coffee bar. That grew enough that they moved to a standalone building. All volunteers from the community, until this year when they wrangled enough grant money to hire a part-time person.
Now, after 20+ years, shes working on finding someone else to run the show.
@f00l @Kyeh @macromeh @therealjrn very cool.
Would you call her. A sexy librarian?
Just in case you haven’t cause you should
@f00l @Kyeh @therealjrn @unksol
Yeah, I’d say that’s a fair description.
@f00l @macromeh @therealjrn @unksol Oh, my word! I get the emais when I’m @-ed, so I saw the photo & didn’t remember this conversation. My first thought was “who’s that movie star?”
@f00l @Kyeh @therealjrn @unksol This photo was taken a bit before we started dating. It was for a ( humorous) promotional flyer that was sent out to the sales offices of the big tech company where we both worked. The DeLorean she’s leaning on was owned by one of the managers in her marketing department. She even had a company photo ID badge made with this character and the name “Trixie”. (We also have a life-sized poster of this shot.
Fun times!)
@f00l @macromeh @therealjrn @unksol
Well, that’s pretty phenomenal. Killer legs! I’m so envious.
“A house is not a home without books and cats”
@therealjrn The
supplied the cat’s name all by itself?
My house is currently only half a home. Plenty of books, no cat.
“The FINANCEL AllGARY of MAEDLOCUN”?
@Kyeh No robots were harmed in the production of this post, however an ad for the bag was significantly cropped.
@therealjrn Oh - so this is a screenshot?
I think the image was originally AI-generated though, because of the book titles.
@Kyeh yes! It’s was a screenshot of an ad on facebook. I guess posting your library means people are going to read the book titles
@Kyeh @therealjrn my problem here is that in this scenario one of said cats would eventually piss on my bookshelf and ruin some books.
I of course realize that this is not a problem normally. And the books I have would be cheaper than the electronics they have ruined… But… Don’t have books for display. Paper backs. Goodwill stuff.
Again if you like to buy nice hardbound books to support the author. I totally understand that. And admittedly I have not been reading much in the last decade. But before that it was the library .
I think the last one hardback I read was a compilation from James Herriot a while ago that my grandma gave me Decades after his death.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/James_Herriot.
Someone peed on/next to it… Cause
@therealjrn @unksol Those books in that picture look like “interior decorator” books to me. I’ve actually seen little bundles of old books tied up with twine for sale at Home Goods, nothing you’d want to actually read, but pretty looking covers.
@Kyeh @therealjrn I mean you can get like Sherlock Holmes and other classics in that style. And I read all of Sherlock Holmes. From the library.
My grandpa and grandma used to go to garage sales and have a flea market booth where they had local auctions and buy and sell stuff. Grandpa did more the mechanical stuff. And marbles.
Grandma had a shelf full of hard back Hardy Boys/Nancy Drew/Tom Swift I think she acquired there. I have no idea what the oldest one was but they were on a… 3-4 foot shelf in a living room. And younger kids would stay a few weeks with them when we were in summer and get to go to the auctions and yard sales. And you could always grab a book to read even though they were old.
That’s more my style.
Also
“Keep your elbows off the table.
This is not a horses stable.
But a first class dining room”
I think I have seen everyone with their elbows on the table since but… Lol
@therealjrn @unksol nice memories! I didn’t have grandparents nearby but for a little while we had neighbors who treated me like a granddaughter. They had the books their 4 boys read growing up (they were college age by then) so I read all the A. A. Milne books there.
And I was always reading library books. We lived in Reno for a while and I’d walk to the beautiful public library (it had trees inside it!) or to the campus library where my father worked and stock up every week or so. At that UofN library they had a complete collection of the original weird Oz books with the crazy illustrations. Those were fun!
@therealjrn well yes the point would be entirely to read the book titles… Which if they are on display for show. Never mind made up…
@unksol Aren’t all books made up?
@therealjrn that depends. Are you a bot?
@therealjrn many many books are non fiction and I also enjoy history. The titles are made up by the author to convey a thesis. The content is not.
Unless you’re into ancient aliens. Or conspiracy. Cause those pyramids are docking stations for the Goa’uld
@unksol
/cowsay res ipsa loquitur
@therealjrn I don’t think it does that
/cowsay hello
But
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Res_ipsa_loquitur
@Kyeh @therealjrn I think there is just the original one wizard of oz series? Don’t they have pumpkin head in them?
I don’t really remember individual books this many years later but I remember bits of those. I know I tore through the black stallion series in early elementary. I’m the mid 90s. And we had card catalogs. Pattern if it was good. To me. As a kid. Must have the rest
Monochrome green/orange terminals with those beige mechanical keyboards were so satisfying before we were allowed computers
@therealjrn @unksol I meant the original editions, with the very Art Nouveau illustrations, not the more recent editions published after the movie came out. The pictures were wild!
@therealjrn @unksol I used card catalogs later, but as a kid, I’d just go browse the stacks.
@Kyeh @therealjrn those would have been cool. We obviously just had the standard library books. Cause small private schools and a lot of “classics”.
But it was still a bit of a revelation as a young kid when our teacher was like. "You all know wizard of oz from the movie? Well it wasn’t really the way and lets read about pumpkin head and the rest of the oz “universe” that was written in the early 1900s…
Which kinda blows your mind as a kid. Also free personal pan Pizza! BookIt!
@therealjrn @unksol I never got free personal pizzas!
But I just loved to read all the time.
I was checking out my Oz books from the Univ. of Nevada college library. I suppose they were there as part of an educator’s collection or something.
@Kyeh @therealjrn well they started it for kids in 84 so. Just timing lol.
https://www.yum.com/wps/portal/yumbrands/Yumbrands/news/company-stories-article/inspiring+a+love+of+reading+how+the+pizza+hut+book+it+program+keeps+kids+turning+pages+over+40+years+later
When clearly it was marketing cause you can’t just take one kid. You’re gonna have to at least buy everyone a slice. Plus some goodwill…
Lol maybe at somepoint… It was not that but… Hard to pull off family dinner with a personal pan pizza in the middle. Other than. We are having pizza and you get your special one cause you earned it
@Kyeh @therealjrn @unksol
I so love the Oz books.
We had first editions growing up that my great grandmother had bought for her children.
They had been drawn on by generations of kids. These books are still in the family somewhere.
My parents read them to us so often that we learned them by heart long before we were reading.
Still love them.
Those turn of the century and Edwardian and early Georgian era drawings in those books are so gorgeous.
The way the copyright pages were done by the original artist
(Was it John R Neill?),
who incorporated the original publication date into a beautiful illustration.
The entire copyright page of the first editions is an incredible work of art.
This had made it complicated to publish later editions and to tell them apart from firsts, if the later edition reproduced the entire art from the original book in the later edition.
(Or that’s what a rare book specialist told me. That was maybe 4 decades ago and I don’t remember the details of what he said).
/image “Glinda of Oz”
Maybe don’t use it like this guy - although @Sillyheathen might be charmed by this?
@Kyeh Smart, actually. Think of all the time and money he saved not going on all those Gumboless dates! We men need very little to be happy. It’s a Gumbo life for me!
KuoH
@kuoh @Kyeh affirmed
/giphy gumbo life
@Kyeh that’s because Gumbo is LIFE!
If you want to call Usenet a dating app, then I guess I did use one. I met my partner who died in 2018 on Usenet.
I make friends. Though for people I know who use dating apps, they make multiple profiles that are slightly different and wind up meeting only people who’ve “passed” a majority of them.
Ironically two friends who met their future spouse this way, their spouses were also casting the same kind of net. It was really frightening how close they planned things (though looking at them side-by-side, they don’t “match”; it’s only when they start doing things in tandem it looks like they’re creepy twins).
@pakopako IDK if you’ve noticed but people don’t have friends these days. Just statistically. Across multiple surveys. I’ll be completely honest I have none that I check in on. Which is just me.
I absolutely would come if they needed help. But they aren’t here. IDK their kids names.
The whole net thing would. Not be doable. I’m just. What I am. I probably should get some hobbies honestly. I’ve just been working forever… And putting things on the side…
@pakopako @unksol if I were single and trying to meet someone, I probably would be more social, join more clubs/groups etc.
But, I don’t really have friends anymore… most of my closest friends in my life have been girls/women. Most of my best friends in life have been platonic relationships with women, (that’s actually how I met my wife- she was the sister of one of my best friends back then).
My wife isn’t the jealous kind, and is OK with me having friends that are women (she knows I have zero desire to cheat); BUT, it still is a little awkward having close across-gender friendships when married. I maintained some of my friendships for years after marriage but they all evaporated over time and I haven’t made any new ones.
I don’t know why, but haven’t had a friendship with a guy (friendly with plenty but none I’d call friend) since I was in University. I just prefer the company of women… and being married that doesn’t happen anymore (not that my wife would have a problem with it). My wife fills the role of wife/best friend/only friend these days.
@OnionSoup @pakopako hence the need for a wife lol. But yeah. I don’t really feel lonely. I’m pretty good. I don’t need to be your best friend to come help. I like fixing things. If you have a problem I’ll help.
Not looking to hang out and watch sports ball
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
met my current future ex-wife on hinge. already looking for the next one on the same app.
(in case she sees this - I’M TOTALLY KIDDING BABE!)
@carl669 uhuh. What’s that fuck counter up to buddy. Did it just spike?