La Cabra de Mayo (May 2024 scapegoat blame thread)

@xobzoo Wait, I have to do something? Is it too late to blame you retroactively for giving me another job?

@DLPanther Well, you were voted in under my reign, so I guess it’s probably my fault.

But since someone was nice enough to help me figure out what my job was, I should go ahead and pass it along to you, too. (I guess I have to make a link to it, don’t I.)

@DLPanther @xobzoo I will note that there have been goats that basically ghoatsted their way through their reign. It’s not unheard-of. But some heckling should be expected for anyone who’s actually visible on the forums but missing from their Goat thread. And our Mediocrebot has also been the Goat once, courtesy of some hastily written code to autogenerate its responses to Blames and Unblames. But nobody thinks you’ll be exactly like any prior Goat.

@werehatrack why would we call them a bastard? Thats not very nice

@tinamarie1974 There are many translations of the title, and yours is well down into the slang area - and pretty far off of the most common usage that I have personally seen. “Oye! Cabrón! Como esta?” is a very common greeting among men who know each other well. If the negative connotation is intended, it is conveyed by the manner of expression. As a strictly literal translation, “cabrón” is very explicity “male goat”, and “cabra” is female, which our esteemed scapegoat is not. But the other terms for a male goat are far less recognizable to English speakers with only a smattering of Spanish; of them, chivo and macho cabrio are probably the most common, would you recognize either? Particularly given that “cabrio” is best known as a synonym for “convertible”?

However, your point is precisely why I opened the debate. I know which way my experience tells me to vote, but I’m not the only one here. Input is important.

@tinamarie1974 @werehatrack “Cabra” would be more accurate by your definition, @tohar1 can vouch for that via my somewhat stalkerish Meh gift exchange card.

@werehatrack well, I am well aware of everything you said. Having worked in MX for a few years I heard the slang and proper utilization of the word.

But a spade is a spade.

It means bastard and in an informal setting it is a greeting amongst friends. I dont feel that I know our new goat, or most of the people on this site for that matter, well enough to use that type of informal slang with them. If someone here referred to me in that way I would be offended.

A cabrio (m)/cabria(f) would be the correct term for goat. Why would we call the current scapegoat anything different?

@DLPanther @tinamarie1974 @tohar1 Ah. Cabra it is, then!

@DLPanther @tinamarie1974 @tohar1 @werehatrack Well now I’m wondering about “cabrio” vs “cabro” (and similarly cabria/cabra). Are they equal? Not equal? Regional?
My quick search online has not yielded very meaningful results…

@DLPanther @tohar1 @werehatrack @xobzoo where I worked it was cabrio/cabria. Could be regional. I can check w a few friends I am still in touch with to see if they know.

@DLPanther @tohar1 @werehatrack sorry for the delay in response. Just been super busy over here getting ready for Charlie’s surgery tomorrow

So I was able to speak w a friend who was born and lived in Mexico near the Nuevo Laredo border until just before she was a teenager. She and her family immigrated to TX. She and I use to work together in Mexico.

1. So as it relates to El Cabron, she stated that if the person is a a close friend or family member it is acceptable slang. Beyond that she would neve use it, as it would be seen as an insult.

2. All the various goat translations. She has no idea why there are so many, coming from N Mexico she would use Chivo/chiva. So there is some more confusion for you. She said it could be a regional thing, but she was not sure.

Not sure if that helped, but

/giphy the more you know

@tinamarie1974 That pretty much lines up with what I had found digging around, and yeah, it looks like the chiva/chivo translation is somewhat regional. So are some of the others. This does not surprise me, given the number of terms that are perfectly innocuous in one regional dialect of Spanish and rather not innocuous in others. There’s even a popular candy which has two different names depending upon the nation in which it’s going to be sold, because the original one turns out to be a regional synonym for genitalia in another one. I forget what it is, and it was in one of those lists of questionable assertions, but that one checked out.

@werehatrack well as long as someone learned something it was worth it I guess

@tohar1 There are tons of Anglos in Texas who are convinced that the only thing they really need to know in Spanish is “Dos mas.” Some of us think that’s a trifle short-sighted. A slightly greater number believes that it is also wise to know “Donde estas los baños?”, which is useless if the reply cannot be comprehended.

@werehatrack Apparently I am fluent in Spanish! “Two More?” & “Where’s the damn bathroom?” both came to mind reading your statement…Sammy Hagar’s song “Mas Tequila” is how I remembered the first one, but not sure how the second translation came to be…

@tohar1 @werehatrack I mostly know swear words in Spanish. That was from years ago taking kids in jail canoeing across the state of FL. I guess the torture from that was bad enough that over half of them did not commit a crime again .

Actually we worked on a lot of life skills such as actions have consequences, personal growth issues, giving them a feeling of accomplishment when doing things like ropes courses, starting fires in the rain, etc. A lot of that “training” was useful when I adopted a kid nearly 10 who came with a ton of issues (actually still has a ton of issues).

@Kidsandliz @werehatrack Dude! That is awesome! Seriously, my hat’s off to those who can do this kind of almost “Scared Straight” activities, hopefully making a difference in their lives! Good On You!!!

POPSOCKETS! SPROCKETS! DAVY CROCKETT! AWESOME!

@tohar1 As my old pappy used to say, just don’t call me late for dinner.

@Kidsandliz I don’t recall where it was done or exactly when, but I know that there was a study that concluded that the more you could keep kids out of jail, but in a supervised environment that included productive activities, the more likely they were to straighten up and not be a problem in the future. Jail, on the other hand, hardened them into repeat offenders reliably. So, really, you were just doing a good job of getting them involved with the rest of the world instead of being on an adversarial footing with it all the time.

@werehatrack A lot of what we did was try to make them willing to try what they perceived as hard things that they couldn’t do; that they are afraid to try to do; that has a scary “unknown” factor, etc. and not just give up due to negative self talk, fear of failure… You break down things like that into achievable pieces and their sense of accomplishment skyrockets as they are successful with each step - each step they thought was impossible so didn’t even want to try to begin with.

They then look back and realize, for example, they canoed across the entire state of Florida, or climbed a 35’ cliff, or saw alligators and poisonous snakes up close and personal and lived. Many of the kids would talk about how they felt like they were failures at everything and didn’t want to even try; that the problem helped them figure out how to make themselves to do things they were scared of, or didn’t want to do or even try and how good it felt when they actually did them.

The catch, of course, is that real life is not set up with the kinds of supports/training wheels we had in place. If they weren’t placed into a post jail setting after the program that reinforced the “lessons” they learned and worked with them to continue strengthening those fledgling skills we taught them the let down after “graduating” from our program was pretty severe.

We had one kid recidivate on purpose because she wanted placed back into our program due to how good it made her feel about herself. Unfortunately our program was a one shot deal. That was really sad.

@Kidsandliz @werehatrack
Well that study all makes SO MUCH SENSE, and hits home hard!
It’s much easier for that pre teen/teenage brain to get into trouble, go to jail/juvenile detention and fall in line with the other kids delinquent mindset rather than make that other choice of working through their tough issues and DO THE HARD WORK in order to get through to the other side of those terrible ugly feelings that are making them act out in the first place! This whole subject hits home hard.
I can still remember the smell of standing in the grossest water up to my knees on the hottest August days cleaning out weeds one by one.
I could write a book here! No worries, I’ll spare you!

BTW… KUDOS to @Kidsandliz for taking a chance and choosing to love and adopt!

They’re safe to handle but frightened, and there may be a third and/or fourth that I have not caught yet. The momcat is in the other trap, and she’s a brownish agouti, and nonaggressive but terrified. I suspect that the dadcat is an orange bullseye, but there’s at least one other strong contender (and it could be both, these are cats.) Anyway, the kittens are weaned, so mom goes to get spayed ASAP. I think the kittens are about 8 weeks old. Hunched up, they are just a handful. I’ve handled both of them with no damage.

@werehatrack So what is it technically called when you have a hoard of cats and kittens?

@Kidsandliz A damn nuisance, of the self-inflicted nature? A dumbass move? More work than I need right now?

@Kidsandliz And now I have confirmed the existence of Kitten3 and Kitten4, but neither has been trapped yet. Working on it. Multiple dammits. I need to find an adoption system to hand these off into, but I know that the nearest one that’s not overloaded already is probably going to be no farther south than Kansas.

@Kidsandliz @werehatrack
Well, @unksol is probably going to feel a little better not being the only one …

@werehatrack yeahhhh…. Kitten season is late this year.

@Kidsandliz @Kyeh @werehatrack I hear New Hampshire is always short. Maybe North instead of South?

My issue was obviously not getting them to the vet. The original litter would have been fine here if the boys had lost their balls. Mom would still walk around me but that’s ok. So I’m far worse.

That being said, I don’t see anything wrong with TNR if in the country/everybody’s fixed/Mom has the skills to teach them and they are already functional. Or better a farmer who could use some barn cats/will provide food/water/shelter. Not every cat needs to be inside. They do need to stop reproducing since across the country we have a bit of an excess.

This all started cause I thought I was going to catch a ground hog or possum coming out from under the garage and didn’t want to block them in to die. But needed to close the hole. Wasnt expecting cats. Then didn’t know if they were alone.

@unksol I’m in Houston. We get litters pretty much year-round, so the shelters are always oversupplied. My grouse is that to find a shelter that would affirmatively want these, I’m probably looking at someplage in Iowa or farther north at this point in the year.

@werehatrack but Texas is large. If everyone got fixed. Cats on a farm good. At that point they are just farm animals that like skritches. Hopefully no one wants to shoot them

There should probably be some sort of network for that

@unksol The problem is coyotes.

@werehatrack mmm yes. We don’t have that issue. There are no predators. Although hence the “shelter” part. You know if there was a place in the pole barn for them to go. They would find it. I’m sure they can outrun one. But with both preferring nocturnal activities…

Outdoor cats are always going to have a reduced lifespan though. Can’t catch them all/make everyone be responsible. I’m clearly on the side of take in a stray but… When everything is overloaded. IDK

@unksol Coyotes catch and kill feral cats with disturbing ease, and nonferals even more so. There was one doing a particularly disturbing job of it nearby for a while, until the coyote “mysteriously vanished”. That happened not long after one family found half of their beloved pet on their front lawn one afternoon. (I will admit to being prepared to deal harshly, summarily, and very quietly with a coyote should one make the mistake of showing up here. They may have been native to the Texas forest, prairie and desert ecosystems long before European settlers arrived, but the modern urban ecosystem is emphatically NOT one in which they are native; here, they are a de facto invasive species.)

@werehatrack never had to deal with predators although everyone is inside anyway. I would have thought cats would be faster/more aware. I knew they are a problem for small dogs but… They are more domesticated and slower.

Technically cats are an invasive species too. But id probably have a rifle by the door. Cyotes in urban areas would be worse than cats.

@unksol I will not deny that cats are an invasive species, particularly given that there’s one trying to invade my lap as I type this.

@unksol @werehatrack Over the years we’ve had both inside cats and outside cats. At least a couple of the outside cats have been taken by coyotes, and one inside cat (who thought he wanted to be an outside cat) stayed out one night and also became a Happy Meal. Quite a few of our chickens wound up coyote or raccoon fodder. Country Living.
I’ve dispatched a couple of coyotes since we’ve been here, but they are wily buggers.

@macromeh @werehatrack

Google says coyotes hit 42 MPH vs 30 MPH for a cat. I did not expect that. Although if they had shelter or a tree near by… Still. That’s not good

Other than the .45 ACP I’m supersonic. But I’m sure by the time someone hears something it’s too late. And most of the time they won’t…

I guess it they cooperate/were trained to come in for food you could shut them in the barn at night.

That is how you do chickens

Cats are huge predators though. So I guess food chain? Uncomfortable reality

@macromeh @werehatrack also… At this point despite how cute they are. They are technically feral. Unless you can find someone who wants to “domesticate” or you’re going to do it. With the mom. It might be best to get her fixed and let her go. If you’re going to separate them.

They were still nursing some. But she just keeps a radius from me still so she exists but I don’t see her much/try not to bother her/she would not be a good pet so no chance to adopt her out. I tried to convince her at first with chicken etc. But she was just hungry.

Obviously lisavilolet had a different experience so. Who knows.

@macromeh @unksol The momcat is not as aggressive as most of the feral moms that I’ve had to deal with, so she might be willing to socialize. It’s all up to her, though. The kittens were immediately safe to handle when I caught them, and I doubt that I’m going to have any trouble with them as they get a few weeks older. When they get to the point where they can be fixed, then I start publicizing for adoption.

@werehatrack
WOW, what a surprise THAT must’ve been! For the BOTH of you!
At first, before I zoomed in, I was wondering how they got into a dishwasher, and how on earth did they survive a wash cycle? Not having newborn kittens for 30 years and forgetting just how tiny they are, my first thought was that they were born in there. Duh, silly me! So how old do you think they are?

@Lynnerizer I’m guessing 7 to 8 weeks; they’re weaned, and eating both gooshy and kibble, but they aren’t much bigger than Bean was when he went to his new home after I bottle-raised him. The floofy one with the white chin and feet is the friendliest, and doesn’t flinch away from scritches. The other one’s not so sure, and the momcat is still very, very unsure - but has yet to spit or swat, so there’s hope for socialization and placement. I’ll try to get a group shot later.

@tinamarie1974 Oh, yikes! When is the surgery? Poor guy. Toby is terrified of his crate too.

@Kyeh I drop him at the surgery center tomorrow for surgery and pick him up Wednesday.

@tinamarie1974
I hope it all goes very well.

@Kyeh

@tinamarie1974 Awww. I send hugs and belly rubs.

@Kyeh @tinamarie1974 Mine run when I get out the cat carrier too. I hope his surgery goes well and he heals up quickly.

@Kidsandliz @Kyeh @speediedelivery thanks! Dropped him off this morning. He trotted right back there w the employee, which is good.

I explained the anxiety again and what I dealt w last night. For the record the crate was in the official “spot” for less than one minute and three hours later he was still on edge. The nurse was like, “oh yeah he will need sedatives. Ill make a note!”

Should get an update between 2 and 5, Im calling by 3 if I dont hear anything. Sigh…

@Kidsandliz @Kyeh @speediedelivery I made it until 230 and decided to call. He finished surgery around 130 and is in recovery. Surgeon should be calling me after 6 to give me the particulars and to schedule his discharge for tomorrow. Sounds like he did ok!

@Kyeh @speediedelivery @tinamarie1974 That’s great!!! But they should have called you when he was out of surgery like they said they would.

@Kidsandliz @speediedelivery @tinamarie1974 So glad the news is positive!

@Kidsandliz @Kyeh @speediedelivery well, they said the Vet would call likely between 2 and 5. When I called I was told that apparently he does his calls after he finishes all his surgeries for the day so likely closer to 5 or 6. We all know I am not that patient!!

@tinamarie1974 Yay. Part one check. Now breathe and get some sleep tonight.

@speediedelivery I need sleep

@Kidsandliz @Kyeh @speediedelivery spent the evening moving my stuff downstairs as Charlie wont be able to go upstairs for a week or two. Ill sleep on the couch next to him. Everything is more or less ready.

Surgeon called. Said Charlie was a champ! Surgery went well to remove the bone, pad and some callouses that had formed. Said his foot went back together beautifully. Feeling a bit lighter after the news but I need him home with me!

Going to collect him at 11 tomorrow. It was the earliest appt I could get! Have my parents going so my dad can lift him in and out of the car. Im afraid I could drop him and hurt his foot if he wiggles

@Kidsandliz @Kyeh @speediedelivery new GIANT crate. Hopefully this will be well received w his favorite pillow and blankets

It’s so big I think I could sleep in there with him if necessary

@Kyeh @speediedelivery @tinamarie1974 That is huge! I have a photo of a then 3 or 4 year old crammed inside of a medium cat carrier. A friend of mine has a photo of his son at about 8 or 9 inside a crate that was probably close to that side. If you ever go somewhere in the car and need to crate him (well and have room for it) he will travel in comfort. I have one about 3’ tall, 4’ long and 3 or so feet wide. I put a shelf in there and my cats travel in my minivan in that (with food and dirt box).

@Kyeh @speediedelivery @tinamarie1974 Glad he did well and hopefully he will heal quickly and be back to normal soon.

@Kidsandliz @Kyeh @speediedelivery

@Kidsandliz @speediedelivery @tinamarie1974 Wow! That’s a deluxe crate! I wondered if you’d have help because he’s not a small dog and you’re a small lady. Glad your Dad will be there. So nice that you’ll sleep on the couch next to Charlie. And super glad the surgery went well!

@Kidsandliz @Kyeh @speediedelivery Thanks!!!

I have great parents. They came over tonight to help me get everythig set up. They will both go with me to collect him and be here tomorrow to make sure everything goes ok. Then nothing until the bandages come off. He gets too excited and wiggly when someone shows up ESPECIALLY my dad.

And I have to sleep down there with him. He would not do well down there in the crate alone. Would be a bad situation and I dont want him to hurt himself.

@Kidsandliz @speediedelivery @tinamarie1974 Is Charlie boy home now? Is he doing okay?

@Kidsandliz @Kyeh @speediedelivery @tinamarie1974 I can empathize with poor Charlie, I will be recovering from surgery starting the afternoon of the 17th myself, and while I will probably be a less fractious patient than he is, I will be in perfect agreement with him about the desirability of having the right person at hand. My problem lies in the fact that for the first 5 days after the surgery, I will still be in the hospital. I am not looking forward to that. There are so many things about this to look forward to, but the five day stretch in the hospital isn’t any of them. Charlie, at least, will have his favorite person nearby, which I’m sure will be a great boon to him and a great comfort to both of you. May the recovery be as swift as possible and as free of hiccups as you could hope.

@Kidsandliz @Kyeh @speediedelivery @werehatrack sorry for the delay in updates. In addition to dealing w my patient we had severe storms, tornado warnings and crazy hail. Luckily only crazy rain and wind here, but by my sister… GRAPEFRUIT sized hail and tornados!!!

Charlie improved as the day went on. He is on four different medicines and they have his foot wrapped spectacularly. As long as I can keep his bandage dry there is no need to have it changed. Will be 2 weeks and then a visit to remove the bandage and hopefully the stitches. Once the stitches come off then a soft bandage for a week or so before he is up and running again.

And he did hang with his favorite person all day, my dad. Dad was a lifesaver, carrying charlie up and down the stairs to potty all day until he was doing well enough on his own. Took a bit for him to get the hang of it.

@Kidsandliz @speediedelivery @tinamarie1974 @werehatrack

his favorite person

More favorite than YOU?!!
I’m glad it went well and he seems to be recovering okay. I did wonder about the weather there - sounds like the middle of the country is all getting a beating!

@Kidsandliz @Kyeh @speediedelivery @werehatrack he adores my dad, it is crazy. They both took a nap together on the couch today

@Kyeh @speediedelivery @tinamarie1974 @werehatrack He looks like a poor sad little puppy between his bandage and head cone. Glad he is otherwise ok at home and with his favorite people. Glad you missed the worst of the storms though. You wouldn’t have needed that on top of dealing with your pup.

@Kidsandliz @Kyeh @speediedelivery @werehatrack thanks! He is pretty chipper today. Starting to get the hang of his wrapped foot

@Kidsandliz @speediedelivery @tinamarie1974 @werehatrack
Handsome as ever …

@tinamarie1974 I predict that when the dressing comes off, Charlie is going to be one hyperhappy puppy.

@werehatrack I am sure you are right, but he is already hyper and he is on sedatives. Boy has SO MUCH energy!!!

@Kidsandliz @Kyeh @speediedelivery @tinamarie1974 @werehatrack
As usual, late to the party!
I hadn’t even seen our beloved CharlieDoggo was going for surgery.
Poor Charlie, I’m sorry! I’m so glad everything went well and he’s settling into recovery mode. He’s lucky to have such a good momma, sleeping on the couch by his side, prepared to jump in if necessary isn’t something everyone would do! Jus sayen…
Your family is wonderful! It’s terrific how CharlieDoggo is treated and LOVED just like any two legged grandson!
I’ll be saying prayers for a seamless recovery, for both of you!

BTW…
Even with the dreaded cone of shame he’s still as handsome as ever!

@tinamarie1974 suggest putting a T-shirt or something with your scent in it inside the crate. That always makes an animal feel more comfortable in a scary environment.

@Lynnerizer, thank you from both Charlie and myself! He seems to be doing pretty good and although he doesnt like the crate he is a good boi once I get him in there!

So sorry to hear about your colonprep debacle. Absolutely terrible. Hoping second time is a charm!!

@StORMcAT444 thanks for the recommendation. The only thing that seems to help is my physical proximity. Charlie is a rescue and something happened before I adopted him. He is very triggered by crates. As long as I am right there he will fall asleep. His anti-anxiety meds dial it back, but do not resolve the issue.

@Lynnerizer @StORMcAT444 @kyeh @speedydelivery Taking Charlie in bright and early tomorrow to get rebandaged. How does he already have a hole?!?!??!?!

The surgery was like, well he has an appt on the 20th to have them removed. Maybe just wait. It might be ok

Then, we’ll the techs have left. You can come to the ER but you will be waiting up to five hours.

My response was if that was my only choice to be on the lookout, I’ll be there in 30 min or less!!!

An elusive tech (remember they already left) called me back as I was jumping in the car to ask if I would wait until tomorrow morning and she would make an appt and do it personally.

Let’s hope this next bandage lasts more than 2 days

@Lynnerizer @StORMcAT444 @tinamarie1974 Oh, no!!! They’d better put on more layers or some sort of a guard this time, huh? Sorry to hear about this but hope it all goes well.

@Kyeh @Lynnerizer @StORMcAT444 yeah they cant do a guard because dogs sweat through their feet so it needs to be breathable. More layers, however, seems like a great idea.

@Kyeh @Lynnerizer @StORMcAT444 @tinamarie1974 This sounds like it will be a fun 10 days if you need to do this every 2 days.

@Kidsandliz @Kyeh @Lynnerizer @StORMcAT444 K&L that is my exact concern!!!

@Kidsandliz @Kyeh @Lynnerizer @StORMcAT444 and we woke up to diarrhea. Cleaned him up as best I could to get him to the vet. They gave him a bath and rebandaged him. Mom came over and helped me disinfect the house top to bottom and all that is left is the sheets, blankets, pillows that were soiled.

I am tired

@Kidsandliz @Lynnerizer @StORMcAT444 @tinamarie1974 Oh noooo. I hope that isn’t going to last! Was it from the medications?

@Kidsandliz @Kyeh @Lynnerizer @StORMcAT444 they think so. Had me stop giving him capeofen and he is taking pepcid ac now to help get his gut right.

@tinamarie1974 I sure hope that helps, for both of you.

@werehatrack thank you

@werehatrack Hope it all goes well and the insurance problem really does get solved.

@werehatrack
Hope you have internet while in the hospital so you can keep up with the inevitable Mehrathon then, plus keep us updated.
Also, Is your crate ready for when you get home?

@phendrick I’m still working on the virtual crate, and I’m told that the hospital has wifi. We shall see. What I am less than thrilled about is five days of that hospital’s food. If it’s the same as the provender at the identically-branded facility nearest my house, it will be incredibly flavorless. I swear, they must have hired the reincarnation of the person who ran the Dade County Schools lunch program in the '60s, as that is the only other place I’ve seen beef that approached the level of cardboardiness they regularly exceeded while my now-deceased partner was there. The fare at the county hospital was better. The county’s grub was just obviously low-bidder, but the stuff my S.O. was fed clearly was the result of paying extra to do the work to extract everything from it that might have made it pleasant to eat. I’m planning to smuggle seasonings in my laptop case in self-defense. I’m hoping to be the beneficiary of some cake hidden inside a gift package of machinist’s files and chisels, as well.

@phendrick @werehatrack Can you get family and friends to just bring things in for you? Will you be on a restricted diet? If not, it seems like they shouldn’t object to some care packages.

@werehatrack Recommended (not necessarily from A’zon)
https://www.amazon.com/Cholula-Original-Sauce-Gallon-64oz/dp/B00I335BY6/ref=sr_1_6_pp

https://www.amazon.com/Tony-Chachere-Creole-Seasoning-Original/dp/B00YS8UG0E/ref=sr_1_1_sspa
Those sizes should do it and make you a hero to others incarcerated there.
I use one or the other on just about every meal.
And keep the bed pan handy or at least have a
walker within reach.

@werehatrack To fight boredom, you can follow my lead, as an inquiring mind and born button-pusher. More than a dozen years ago, they held me hostage for almost two weeks and had me on monitors and i.v. drips (antibiotics). The drip was from a formidable piece of equipment at my bedside that was running a program. i noticed it had quit long before it ran out. Figured it was a programming error. Looking it over, there was a user manual inside its bowels. Pretty simple to reset the timer program and get it going to deliver the whole bag to me. Nurses gave me a good scolding when they figured out what i had done, but admitted there had been an error. What are they gonna do, kick a patient out?

@Kyeh @phendrick In theory, according to the surgeon, I should have no dietary restrictions after the surgery. In practice, unless I can get something smuggled, I’ll be on a “nothing edible” diet until I get out of that place. (The surgeon seems to think that the hospital’s food is okay, but I suspect that this reflects his having the staff cafeteria food as an option rather than any direct experience with what is foisted off on the captives.)

@phendrick @werehatrack Hospital food… When I had my second breast cancer surgery I had no interest in food and so mom was going to eat it for dinner instead. Except it was not possible to cut the pork chop. You could have broken a window with it. I am sure it if was dropped it would have clattered or bounced.

@Kidsandliz I have to wonder if the potential for damage from dropped food is part of why the floor in most of the rooms seems like it’s armored. I think I encountered that same pork chop while Lee was in the hospital.

@phendrick A smaller bottle of Cholula is probably a good idea, and I have a shaker of Tabasco salt that I think I can get past the sentries as well. Also, I’m going to bring a shaker of TrueLime and one of TrueLemon to make the icewater less boring. Maybe a few packets of my favorite drink mix, too.

@werehatrack I use those, except for the “Tabasco salt” that I hadn’t ever noticed. Does it taste like the actual Tobasco sauce (which I don’t care for the flavor of - that’s why I’m keen on the Cholula)? And agree on the TrueLs when not wanting a sweetened beverage.

This’ll also be a good time for you to figure out the Rubik’s cubes, if you’ve yet to master those, even the Skewb (which is simpler than the Rubiks, but for some reason really messed with my head spatially). And of course to re-read all the 900+ page Great Books of Literature such as Moby Dick, Don Quixote, War and Peace, Crime and Punishment, and the whole Harry Potter series. Take your e-reader. Or just figure out quantum mechanics and of course follow with quantum computers.

Else if excessive page-turning isn’t in your future, just lie back and contemplate and solve either the Twin Prime Conjecture or Goldbach’s Conjecture. How hard can these be, they just involve integers like we use every day! (Probably) don’t even need to work with so-called imaginary numbers. (Thinking Fermat’s technique of infinite descent might be the key to one of these.) Fame & possibly fortune await, for just a few days’ efforts.

@phendrick I have already committed the egregious error of rereading most of the Discworld books over the past month, and all of the Vorkosigans over the last couple of months. There’s always Charlie Stross to revisit, of course. And Seanan McGuire, both under that name and the other one, and I’ll probably bring along the hardcopy stuff by T. Kingfisher (the text-efforts nom de voyage of Ursula Vernon.)

@phendrick @werehatrack The last time I spent time in a hospital bed (>30 years ago), I was on a pain killer IV drip (morphine or similar) and it made my vision blurry enough that I had a hard time reading. Fortunately (I guess) it also caused me to sleep a lot, but there were still many boring hours with nothing but crappy daytime TV to distract me.

@macromeh @werehatrack “crappy daytime TV” – what were you being punished for?

@macromeh @phendrick The TV’s resolution has gotten better and the content has gotten even worse.

@phendrick @werehatrack
Apparently
TV’s resolution x constitution = a constant

@phendrick @werehatrack

“crappy daytime TV” – what were you being punished for

Attempting to defy the Law of Gravity.

@macromeh That’s what roofers and tree trimmers are for.

@werehatrack Unfortunately, there weren’t any of either around to catch my fall.

@macromeh @phendrick @werehatrack

The TV’s resolution has gotten better and the content has gotten even worse.

That’s why streaming was invented!
¯\_(ツ)_/¯

@Lynnerizer On Thursday at noon, I will have the privilege of starting that same prep. It’s required for the surgery that I’m going to have on Friday morning. I’m so thrilled. I’m sure you can tell.

@Lynnerizer too late for you but for someone else in the future, if you get the big jug of prep ask for unflavored. It’s better to drink the ocean than the worlds worst margarita.

@DLPanther @Lynnerizer And don’t get tempted by those giant horse pills Sutab because you only drink water. I was given them as a default once. While they work fine and drinking, I think it was 3L of water each time you take 12 of them (and they are incredibly hard to swallow as they are huge, and if I remember correctly, not coated) the cramps, gas, and horrific nausea and extreme stomach pain was the worst I had ever had. I was having an endoscopy at the same time and the entire lining of my stomach was incredibly irritated (which was not on the potential diagnosis list for why I was having that done). Some people like them but clearly they have not experienced much from the side effect list like I had.

@DLPanther Actually, it’s not too late so I THANK YOU for the BEST ADVICE EVER!
YAY GOAT!
Since the prep was a total fail I have to go through the whole thing again as I STILL NEED to have my colonoscopy. I can’t believe I didn’t even think about asking for the non flavored drink, I’ve been stressing about being able to get that stuff down!

@DLPanther @Kidsandliz
Oh no, that sounds awful! You also get a big THANK YOU! I WAS planning on asking or inquiring about the pill option but now that I know (thanks to our goat) to request the unflavored drink (like I had last time) I should be all set!

@DLPanther @Lynnerizer Well you may not get those side effects, many don’t but I did. I may have had a more “sensitive” stomach. If you don’t have a lot of GI/stomach issues they may work well for you.

@DLPanther @Kidsandliz @Lynnerizer At my last colonoscopy I also had an endoscopy (reflux issues). Before they put me under, I asked if they could please check my intake before they did my output. (That got a chuckle. )

@DLPanther @Kidsandliz @Lynnerizer @macromeh when I did mine they had me mix miralax into my favorite flavor of gatorade. It was not bad.

@DLPanther @Kidsandliz @Lynnerizer @macromeh Har. My friend who has both done due to having had cancer in more than one place said they do them simultaneously.

@Kidsandliz @Lynnerizer Oh, I did the pills last time and I found the water easier, but my insurance had them on the highest tier! With my history, I am fine sucking it up (ha) and doing the salt water.

@StORMcAT444
So very true!

@werehatrack That has to be a relief.

@Kidsandliz Oooooooh, yeah. The surgeon’s people had said that they were confident that they could get everything together in time, but there’s nothing that reduces the nervousness like actually having the confirmation in hand. And now I do.

The next 90 days are going to be interesting. Many new things to learn and do.

And now I’m down to three days, and the anticipatory nerves are starting up. Still not feeling any uncertainty, but definitely getting the rest. By Friday morning, it may even be getting close to squee territory, except that’s way outside my range.

This is yet another thing that’s new for me.

Possible oh-shit.

At 2PM today, Wednesday, 39 hours before I am supposed to check in at the hospital, and already at the deadline for the documents required by the anesthesiologist, I got a phone call telling me that the cardiologist’s office had not faxed the clearance letter or my records despite having had them requested daily since April 9th. Two hours of desperate messaging and phone calls later, I was assured that they would be faxed tonight without fail. And if they aren’t, I am prepared to be at the cardiologist’s office when they open in the morning to obtain the hardcopies in person and hand-carry them to the hospital. Of course, if the specific cardiologist didn’t come back to the office after emergency surgery this evening, and doesn’t get there in the morning until after 10AM, I’m toast. It has taken two and a half years of work to get to this point, and if it all comes down to the wire without that clearance, I’ll be forced to reschedule to late January or sometime in February - or worse.

If that happens, I will be sorely tempted to say the hell with it. That will not be done lightly, I know that I would regret giving up, but I am just not sure that I can make myself start over from the beginning and go through all of this crap yet again, which is exactly what will almost certainly be required because the existing paperwork will all be as stale as an open box of 1997 Girl Scout cookies in another few months. Maybe the surgeon’s office can magic the rules somehow on the basis of force majeure (subtype “idiot specialist can’t be arsed to sign a form letter that he’s had more than a month to do”), but I will find it difficult to believe that every deck will not be stacked against me if we get to that point.

It could still all go right. But every time I have thought I had everything lined up, something has come along to knock it back down, and we’re past the end of my ability to cope. I am literally down to one last chance on something over which I have zero actual control, and nobody who actually has control actually gives a f=&^%$ f@#+.

@werehatrack I sure hope this gets straightened out in time.

@werehatrack Sorry for all you’re going through. With records being computerized, it should be a simple thing to send your records instead unneeded additional stress.

@werehatrack If you show up this morning and still have the mess talk to patient advocacy/patient experience at the hospital and cardiologist’s practice if it isn’t an independent practice. Also ask for the office manager at the cardiologist’s practice to try to light a file under butts.

@werehatrack Prayers for everything to go well and happen on tomorrow as planned.

The promised fax did not happen. I am parked in the cardiologist’s waiting room so that when he arrives, we can get this handled. Assuming he arrives, is in time, and doesn’t decide that my paperwork can wait until he has cleared his morning calendar.

I am too burned out to be hopeful

@werehatrack hope this ends well. Let us know if and/or when you are able.

@Kidsandliz I obtained the paperwork. I took it to the anesthesia people at the hospital. The anesthesiologist examined it, and was not satisfied. She has additional questions that she needs to ask the cardiologist, and has attempted to call and speak to him, without success. My experience with this cardiologist has been that calls are never returned. Unless they are willing to just accept his signed clearance for my surgery and go forward, I’m toast. And if they were going to accept that signed clearance, I think they already would have. This looks very much like failure.

@werehatrack That beyonds sucks big time.

@werehatrack I am so sorry about what happened. It would be hard to deal with this after having this planned for so long - especially since the medical people didn’t discuss this in a timely manner. I’d say off hand find another cardiologist so you don’t have to go through lack of communication problems again - not to mention a second opinion about whether or not you need something is usually worthwhile. Meanwhile get on their cancelation list. You might get back in sooner. Somebody likely “lucked in” with your surgery cancelled.

@Kidsandliz The cancellation happened after the hard deadline to begin prep, so it’s just an OR session gone and unrecoverable. Worse, what they want me to do could make me ineligible for any elective or non-emergency surgery for possibly as much as two years. There is no up-side for anyone in this. None.

Many trees down, chainsaw getting a workout.