Assuming only the refrigerator part I assume it is some kind of cheese. I have several unopened packages that have been around a long time. I should open them and use them. And no I’m not doing my care or getting up and taking a picture I’m lazy
I’m pretty sure that there’s a jar of home-canned preserves from about 2003 in the far back, but there is scarier stuff in front of it that I’ll need PPE to get past.
@jouest@werehatrack You’ve got me by a minute or several thousand, but every year my mom, wife and daughter make and can chili sauce with fresh peppers with my grandmother’s recipe (she was born in 1895) so it’s a 4 generation undertaking That stuff will last forever! Adding a tablespoon or two to a red sauce or a dish that wasn’t expecting it makes everything so great. No botulism to date
@jouest@werehatrack Wegmans is my zen spot. After my two month nap and I was learning how to walk again, I’d go there and just grab a cart and stroll the aisles for my PT to build my muscles back up again. I know so many of the staff there. Love that spot
@jouest I’ve been doing IT for 25 years and I’ve generated zero revenue. I only spend money to make the machine go. I’m currently unemployed and just bought a Mercedes with silver bars. That’s how I roll. Let me know if you need remote work
Just found a box of chocolate / vanilla pudding cups with Jan 2023 expiration date. The texture was more dry plaster than pudding, but the chocolate still tasted ok. I’m giving it 24 hours before taste testing a vanilla one.
@capnjb@jouest There was some noticeable stomach growling this morning, but that’s not necessarily uncharacteristic, at least I woke up. Might give it till after dinner before investigating the vanilla cup of destiny.
we’re always interested in understanding the margin of error on “best by” dates.
I take it the warehouse is full of pudding that the best buy date was back when there were still dinosaurs roaming the earth? If yes you could carefully have the staff add AD to the BC date and then meh would be good to go.
@jouest@macromeh Yeah… I was 9 at the end of the 70’s. But I did kiss a girl and also drove a riding mower around the neighborhood. But that’s about as cool as I got Also, always had a stash of firecrackers
Made some pear and apple liqueurs about 15 years ago. Strained out the fruit when I was done and decided it was too good to waste. Threw it in a jar and it has been in the back of the fridge since. Started out in a 1 gallon jar, down to less than a quart now. Every now and then I remember it’s there and toss a couple of spoonfuls in a bowl of vanilla ice cream. That’s some good shit.
@jouest
I’ve always been fascinated by the fact that you don’t need a prescription to buy regular insulin… the syringes to inject it on the other hand…
my kid is diabetic and uses a pump but has syringes in the trunk of my car for emergencies. we also gave a homeless guy a ride after he helped me change a tire and the guy left his homeless guy sign in my trunk after apparently spilling the syringe box loading his sign.
fast forward to me getting the busted tire replaced and them trying to put the spare back where it goes in the trunk.
“excuse me, sir? do you mind if we move your sign and your…um…stuff?”
@chienfou@jouest Vehicle trunks, spare tires, flats, and medical issues…
Back in January, I had surgery that kept me in the hospital for a week. (That story continues, but not here.) When my partner was driving home from the hospital, he hit a curb and bent two wheels. AAA towed the car back to the house, and since I was laid up, I delegated my daughter to wrangle solutions. By the following afternoon, everything had been dealt with … sort of. Fast forward several months, and I opened his trunk for the first time in ages to find that the support thing that fits inside the spare was loose on the largely-collapsed trunk floor, which was now trapped under the edge of an interior trim panel lip that the floor panel would ordinarily rest on top of. It looked like the spare was missing; I didn’t think there was enough space for it to be present in the remaining space under the collapsed panel. Several phone calls were made in a belated attempt to find where the spare went, but nobody could recall. That was on a Sunday. We suspected that the spare might have been accidentally left behind at the tire shop where the replacement wheels were obtained, but they aren’t open on Sundays, and several months had gone by, so “finding or replacing the missing spare” went onto the “mañana list”, and it fell off the urgency queue.
One day this past week, while my partner was off doing protesty things with his daughter, I finally got around to unloading the trunk and extracting the floor panel to see if anything else was missing before I called the tire shop and/or made a junkyard run. Lo and behold, the spare was actually present, but out of position, upside down (hence the reason why the support thingy wasn’t in place) and unsecured (because the securing wingbolt isn’t long enough to tie it down when it’s wrong-side-up). I flipped the spare over, secured it in place, reinstalled the floor support in the middle of the spare, remounted the jack into its socket, and reinstalled the floor panel properly.
A little procrastination saved a lot of embarrassment. (Okay, maybe a lot of procrastination given the nature of what was getting ignored, but you know what I mean.)
I’ve still got blue ice packages that are from the previous millennium in the freezer. In the fridge, the oldest thing might be a sparkling cider circa 2014.
@jouest@pakopako
George Carlin: Leftovers make you feel good twice: once, when you put them in the fridge: “I’m saving food!”, then again later, when you take them out and throw them in the trash: “I’m saving my life!”
I thought I’d opened this already, but it made that click sort of sound when I just unscrewed the lid. If it was already opened, I really should toss it since it said “Consume within 7 days.” That doesn’t seem right since it’s probably hot and spicy enough to kill anything floating around in it! Allora…
@capnjb@ItalianScallion
I’d feel safe about that… but who am I to judge given that I just ate buretta on a pizza last night that had a 2-month-old expiration date on it and a notice to eat within 3 days of opening. But it smelled fine so, what the hell!
@chienfou@ItalianScallion@jouest Soft cheeses don’t last more than a few days in this house. Wegmans (I’m looking at you Josh) has a sheep’s cheese called ‘Bo-Peep’ that is amazing. They also have a vegetable cracker that it goes so well with. And now I’ve found they have an elk salami that I’m addicted to A cracker spread with the soft sheep’s cheese and topped with a little elk. Damn, that is tasty Did I mention I like Wegmans?
@capnjb@ItalianScallion@jouest
Yum. That sounds good. Dollar tree sells vegetable Monet crackers for buck and a quarter every now and then. They’re pretty good.
One of the things my wife and I do frequently is toast the little skinny mini bagels then cover them with smoked cream cheese and a slice of smoked salmon from Aldi. Sprinkled with “everything bagel seasoning” they are the bomb.
Given my french heritage cheese in general doesn’t last long at my house. Though it doesn’t disappear quite as fast now that my wife is counting points with Weight Watcher again…
Assuming only the refrigerator part I assume it is some kind of cheese. I have several unopened packages that have been around a long time. I should open them and use them. And no I’m not doing my care or getting up and taking a picture I’m lazy
@Cerridwyn
I got you. (Barely past its prime.)
I’m pretty sure that there’s a jar of home-canned preserves from about 2003 in the far back, but there is scarier stuff in front of it that I’ll need PPE to get past.
@werehatrack
This one can be loosely dated to 2016.
@jouest @werehatrack You’ve got me by a minute or several thousand, but every year my mom, wife and daughter make and can chili sauce with fresh peppers with my grandmother’s recipe (she was born in 1895) so it’s a 4 generation undertaking
That stuff will last forever! Adding a tablespoon or two to a red sauce or a dish that wasn’t expecting it makes everything so great. No botulism to date 
@capnjb @werehatrack love it
EDIT: also, I see you, Wegmans
@jouest @werehatrack Wegmans is my zen spot. After my two month nap and I was learning how to walk again, I’d go there and just grab a cart and stroll the aisles for my PT to build my muscles back up again. I know so many of the staff there. Love that spot
@capnjb @werehatrack a measurable percentage of content for these sites is written at a Wegmans.
@jouest @werehatrack I’ve got a coupon for sheep’s cheese if that helps
@jouest @werehatrack
You have no idea how happy that honestly makes me.
I think I’ll keep my VMP for a few more years 
@capnjb @werehatrack YES. over here driving revenue.
@jouest @werehatrack Well, you can quote me here… “I BUY PRODUCTS HERE AND SOMETIMES I GET REASONABLE RESULTS!!!11”
@jouest I’ve been doing IT for 25 years and I’ve generated zero revenue. I only spend money to make the machine go. I’m currently unemployed and just bought a Mercedes with silver bars. That’s how I roll. Let me know if you need remote work
@capnjb @werehatrack literally the strongest endorsement we could reasonably ask for
@jouest You need to send me a 1% off code for my years of loyalty
@jouest Also, this is what happens when you put two Josh’s in the same room.
I’ll see myself out. 
@capnjb one of us has to see themself out, clearly
Don’t ask about our food museum.
@user01435213 some of us are just trying to clean out our fridges right now…
@user01435213 Is that museum full of UFO’s too? (unidentifiable frozen objects)
@user01435213 Has the collection been professionally curd-dated?
Just found a box of chocolate / vanilla pudding cups with Jan 2023 expiration date. The texture was more dry plaster than pudding, but the chocolate still tasted ok. I’m giving it 24 hours before taste testing a vanilla one.
KuoH
@kuoh please report back, we’re always interested in understanding the margin of error on “best by” dates.
@jouest @kuoh I think ‘Please, report back’ is the most important part
@capnjb @jouest There was some noticeable stomach growling this morning, but that’s not necessarily uncharacteristic, at least I woke up. Might give it till after dinner before investigating the vanilla cup of destiny.
KuoH
@jouest @kuoh
I take it the warehouse is full of pudding that the best buy date was back when there were still dinosaurs roaming the earth? If yes you could carefully have the staff add AD to the BC date and then meh would be good to go.
A bottle of 1983 vintage Riesling. It is my last bottle. I need to drink it but I don’t want to drink my last bottle.
@yakkoTDI That is a true conundrum.
@yakkoTDI I, too, am vintage from 1983
@jouest @yakkoTDI 42?
Do you know where your towel is?
@jouest @macromeh @yakkoTDI Engage the infinite improbability drive.
@jouest @yakkoTDI
Ok… so at least now we’ve established that I’m the old Josh and you’re the young Josh.
Unless there is some sort of time travel going on here.
@jouest @yakkoTDI
Me too
@capnjb @yakkoTDI respective roles noted! (no time travel)
@jouest I’m sorry you missed the 70’s.
I did some sweet jumps on my BMX bike 
@capnjb @jouest How wholesome.
In the 70’s I got my first car, went to keg parties and got laid.
@jouest @macromeh Yeah… I was 9 at the end of the 70’s. But I did kiss a girl and also drove a riding mower around the neighborhood. But that’s about as cool as I got
Also, always had a stash of firecrackers 
edit - We also had lawn darts and lived!
@capnjb @jouest @macromeh Whippersnappers. (But I’m no Josh.)
@jouest @macromeh @werehatrack It’s a small club
Grandma (you want a photo?)
Um… I think there’s some condiments in there that are several years old. I might take photos later when in kitchen.
@OnionSoup I’m standing by for grandma. and condiments.
@jouest
Meh.com/snufffilms
@OnionSoup
@jouest @OnionSoup
Starter?
Made some pear and apple liqueurs about 15 years ago. Strained out the fruit when I was done and decided it was too good to waste. Threw it in a jar and it has been in the back of the fridge since. Started out in a 1 gallon jar, down to less than a quart now. Every now and then I remember it’s there and toss a couple of spoonfuls in a bowl of vanilla ice cream. That’s some good shit.
@chienfou
Best I can do is peach moonshine from 2019
@chienfou looking at the picture, I can’t help but see some poor little soaked bird peeking out, wishing to be free
@Turken
Alton Brown could clean out his fridge too
I did this for my wife’s 50th. I DID NOT SAY THAT OUT LOUD! 
@capnjb to
That was epic!
@chienfou My brain works faster than my fingers. Deal with my typos.
I can recall that coffee 
heh
@capnjb
?? I think that was an amazing cameo. What a brilliant idea.
@chienfou Oh, you have no idea what I am capable of.
@capnjb this is brilliant.
EDIT: just found Doug E. Fresh below that, damn cameo seems delightful and potentially habit forming
It has become a lot more expensive since I jumped in the deep end. Make your own adult decisions… whether good or bad
@capnjb in the sprit of Meh, I will consider only deeply unpopular celebrities.
The shelves
@tinamarie1974 I definitely have nonsense that moved houses and is older than the shelves…
@jouest
ooh, maybe this? couple of years old and worth like $75 or so, idk.
@jouest
I’ve always been fascinated by the fact that you don’t need a prescription to buy regular insulin… the syringes to inject it on the other hand…
@chienfou suuuuuper random story.
my kid is diabetic and uses a pump but has syringes in the trunk of my car for emergencies. we also gave a homeless guy a ride after he helped me change a tire and the guy left his homeless guy sign in my trunk after apparently spilling the syringe box loading his sign.
fast forward to me getting the busted tire replaced and them trying to put the spare back where it goes in the trunk.
“excuse me, sir? do you mind if we move your sign and your…um…stuff?”
@jouest
Sometimes it’s best to just say “sure” …and leave it at that!
@chienfou @jouest Vehicle trunks, spare tires, flats, and medical issues…
Back in January, I had surgery that kept me in the hospital for a week. (That story continues, but not here.) When my partner was driving home from the hospital, he hit a curb and bent two wheels. AAA towed the car back to the house, and since I was laid up, I delegated my daughter to wrangle solutions. By the following afternoon, everything had been dealt with … sort of. Fast forward several months, and I opened his trunk for the first time in ages to find that the support thing that fits inside the spare was loose on the largely-collapsed trunk floor, which was now trapped under the edge of an interior trim panel lip that the floor panel would ordinarily rest on top of. It looked like the spare was missing; I didn’t think there was enough space for it to be present in the remaining space under the collapsed panel. Several phone calls were made in a belated attempt to find where the spare went, but nobody could recall. That was on a Sunday. We suspected that the spare might have been accidentally left behind at the tire shop where the replacement wheels were obtained, but they aren’t open on Sundays, and several months had gone by, so “finding or replacing the missing spare” went onto the “mañana list”, and it fell off the urgency queue.
One day this past week, while my partner was off doing protesty things with his daughter, I finally got around to unloading the trunk and extracting the floor panel to see if anything else was missing before I called the tire shop and/or made a junkyard run. Lo and behold, the spare was actually present, but out of position, upside down (hence the reason why the support thingy wasn’t in place) and unsecured (because the securing wingbolt isn’t long enough to tie it down when it’s wrong-side-up). I flipped the spare over, secured it in place, reinstalled the floor support in the middle of the spare, remounted the jack into its socket, and reinstalled the floor panel properly.
A little procrastination saved a lot of embarrassment. (Okay, maybe a lot of procrastination given the nature of what was getting ignored, but you know what I mean.)
Fridge or freezer?
I’ve still got blue ice packages that are from the previous millennium in the freezer. In the fridge, the oldest thing might be a sparkling cider circa 2014.
@pakopako oh man, I haven’t looked in the freezer
@jouest @pakopako welp
better get to work
/showme @jouest looking in the scary freezer
@mediocrebot sure why not
@jouest @pakopako
George Carlin: Leftovers make you feel good twice: once, when you put them in the fridge: “I’m saving food!”, then again later, when you take them out and throw them in the trash: “I’m saving my life!”
The more I think about it the more I want to say “my hands”, at least temporarily now and then…
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
[1]:
@chienfou perfection
@jouest
Sometimes I do “literal” pretty well…
@chienfou concur
I thought I’d opened this already, but it made that click sort of sound when I just unscrewed the lid. If it was already opened, I really should toss it since it said “Consume within 7 days.” That doesn’t seem right since it’s probably hot and spicy enough to kill anything floating around in it! Allora…
@ItalianScallion oh for sure risk it
*this is not medical advice
@ItalianScallion Calabrian chilis live forever
@capnjb @ItalianScallion
I’d feel safe about that… but who am I to judge given that I just ate buretta on a pizza last night that had a 2-month-old expiration date on it and a notice to eat within 3 days of opening. But it smelled fine so, what the hell!
@capnjb @chienfou @ItalianScallion sniff test supersedes all else
@capnjb @chienfou @jouest I’ve read that food scientists agree that for a home consumer it does! (and the presence of visible mold. Ewww…)
@capnjb @ItalianScallion @jouest
Yeah. After all ‘aged cheese’ is a thing!
@capnjb @chienfou @jouest Yes, but is ‘consumer-aged cheese’ a thing?
@capnjb @ItalianScallion @jouest
My brie and Camembert generall get ‘consumer aged’. I’ll often leave them on the counter till it gets soft and *ripe"
@chienfou @ItalianScallion @jouest Soft cheeses don’t last more than a few days in this house. Wegmans (I’m looking at you Josh) has a sheep’s cheese called ‘Bo-Peep’ that is amazing. They also have a vegetable cracker that it goes so well with. And now I’ve found they have an elk salami that I’m addicted to
A cracker spread with the soft sheep’s cheese and topped with a little elk. Damn, that is tasty 
Did I mention I like Wegmans? 
@capnjb @ItalianScallion @jouest
Yum. That sounds good. Dollar tree sells vegetable Monet crackers for buck and a quarter every now and then. They’re pretty good.
One of the things my wife and I do frequently is toast the little skinny mini bagels then cover them with smoked cream cheese and a slice of smoked salmon from Aldi. Sprinkled with “everything bagel seasoning” they are the bomb.
Given my french heritage cheese in general doesn’t last long at my house. Though it doesn’t disappear quite as fast now that my wife is counting points with Weight Watcher again…
@chienfou @ItalianScallion @jouest Chienfou, you need to check your front stoop
@capnjb @ItalianScallion @jouest
And you need to check your whispers (5 minutes earlier!)