@Wollyhop You can console yourself with the fact that it would be really difficult to actually poison someone just with bad cooking, but may i suggest you stay away from home canning?
Nobody was injured in an unauthorized banana peal science experiment in high school, but they did have to mop the lunchroom.
Three student researchers put pieces of banana peal under the legs of a chair. One got on it. The other two launched it. The high speed vehicle slid almost the full length of the lunchroom. Not bad for a first run. With small refinements, they could probably traverse an entire hallway.
It left a trail of banana slime the whole length of the journey. The research program was immediately cancelled by the adults and the researchers had to mop the slime.
I’m confident enough in my safety techniques that I fry and saute foods practically naked (aim away from face and genitals), but the real struggle is getting things out onto a plate and not the backyard.
(Once I tried taking a pie out of the oven, juggled it, and wound up batting it out the window. And this wasn’t an isolated incident. After years of this, I switched to making things to eat straight from the pot/pan/stovetop.)
I spend a lot of time in the kitchen. The best chance of
me getting injured is saying something to my wife when she walks in at an inopportune time. I think that’s her superpower.
The only one I’ve actually done resulting in injury was hitting near my inner arm elbow with a sheet pan out of the oven. I don’t recall how cause it’s been a decade. Took me a while to find the the scar cause it’s faded a lot.
I do still occasionally accidentally grab something hotter than I thought but no actual burns I think
Over eating.
@yakkoTDI amen to that!
Mandolin slicer!
Took me several times slicing my fingers before i started wearing work gloves for it.
@phendrick I found one of a radically different design which eliminates most of the hazard while using it, but not while cleaning it.
For the things that it can handle, a Mouli is both safe and effective
@phendrick Two words: Chainmail Glove
@macromeh Not sure if that’s a syntax error or a math error, but that’s three words by most accounts.
.
https://www.ebay.com/itm/116400027903?chn=ps&mkevt=1&mkcid=28&google_free_listing_action=view_item
“Reversible”, so apparently has an undo function if you make a wrong cut.
Opening a can of pet food!
@lonocat
@lonocat OMG YES!
@lonocat @mycya4me
@ircon96 @lonocat Walking a Path in the House is clear one second. the Next the Cat Laying out wanting a belly rub, then Me nearly dripping on him!
Getting between my wife and her chocolate stash when her craving hits.
@hchavers that would get you sent to the hospital!
Tripping over dog(s) and/or cat(s).
Thankfully goats are outside critters!
@Clumber that sounds really Baaaaaaad!
spoiled leftovers
/showme nicking a finger while chopping stuff
@mediocrebot You mean amputation at fingers while cooking in the kitchen. Giving some extra proteins awesome creation.
PANS! GLANDS! CRAYONS! AWESOME!
@ItalianScallion Wow, the bot has quite the sick streak!
@mediocrebot that is the worst chopping technique I’ve ever seen. I love it.
@ircon96 I would say it has quite an awesome sick streak. (cue the mediocre bot)
EVERYTHING IS AWESOME!
All of the above except banana peel.
Accidentally make poison while cooking
@Wollyhop Yep, “accidentally”… at least that’s what you told the popo, amirite? (Wink wink, nudge nudge.)
@ircon96 No my cooking is atrocious. Almost as bad as my spelling. Thank God for autocorrect.
@Wollyhop You can console yourself with the fact that it would be really difficult to actually poison someone just with bad cooking, but may i suggest you stay away from home canning?
I’ve done the first two. The third is a fear of mine, but — knock on wood — hasn’t happened yet.
Tripping on a pet
Nobody was injured in an unauthorized banana peal science experiment in high school, but they did have to mop the lunchroom.
Three student researchers put pieces of banana peal under the legs of a chair. One got on it. The other two launched it. The high speed vehicle slid almost the full length of the lunchroom. Not bad for a first run. With small refinements, they could probably traverse an entire hallway.
It left a trail of banana slime the whole length of the journey. The research program was immediately cancelled by the adults and the researchers had to mop the slime.
All of the above but also spilling boiling sugar on myself.
@cbatte Ouch!
@ircon96 yeah, that one hurt a bit.
Walking along and tripping over nothing.
@ircon96 Mom? Is that you?
@yakkoTDI Son?!
@ircon96 @yakkoTDI
grating my knuckles
@DocJRoberts Ahh, making a knuckle sandwich.
@DocJRoberts @hchavers
/showme a person making a knuckle sandwich
@mediocrebot delicious, would ask for seconds
I’m confident enough in my safety techniques that I fry and saute foods practically naked (aim away from face and genitals), but the real struggle is getting things out onto a plate and not the backyard.
(Once I tried taking a pie out of the oven, juggled it, and wound up batting it out the window. And this wasn’t an isolated incident. After years of this, I switched to making things to eat straight from the pot/pan/stovetop.)
@pakopako Woah, woah, woah… I’ve learned and/or gained wisdom to never fry naked. But you’ve got your superpowers and I’ve got mine
I Knick my nail while chopping stuff usually after I sharpen my blades
@Star2236 and… Which of the two are you calling “blades”
@unksol
? My after I sharpen my knives
I spend a lot of time in the kitchen. The best chance of
me getting injured is saying something to my wife when she walks in at an inopportune time. I think that’s her superpower.
The only one I’ve actually done resulting in injury was hitting near my inner arm elbow with a sheet pan out of the oven. I don’t recall how cause it’s been a decade. Took me a while to find the the scar cause it’s faded a lot.
I do still occasionally accidentally grab something hotter than I thought but no actual burns I think