Random condom conundrum outcome!
8Like so maybe irked mehtizens, I received a literal fuckload of extra large, vegan lubed condoms. And, since I’m not trained at making balloon animals, and my slippery eel sock puppet act has me legally banned in the state as a performer, I needed to rehome these rascally vas-culls.
I tried my local health department… No luck. They weren’t allowed to take donations.
I tried the local safe-sex/ prevent HIV transmission group. No luck.
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Argh. There was apparently posting dickery and my rough draft posted.
Here’s the final version:
Like so maybe irked mehtizens, I received a literal fuckload of extra large, vegan lubed* condoms. And, since I’m not trained at making balloon animals, and my slippery eel sock puppet act has me legally banned in the state as a performer, I needed to rehome these vas-cully wrap-its.
I tried my local health department… No luck. They weren’t allowed to take donations.
I tried the local safe-sex/ prevent HIV transmission group. No luck.
But the local alt-art, burlesque, kink scene?
All for it.
So maybe reach out in directions. Check in at art galleries, performance venues. Share your large-esse.
They had a bit of hesitation (until they vetted me) because there’s a horrendous possibility that someone would donate punctured condoms out of sheer dickishness. So keep everything boxed up, and, if possible, get vouched.
But rehome those cock socks! This is really not an era for unsafe sex!
*The lube is vegan, as I understand. I do not know if the condoms were lubed by vegans.
@brainmist
Excellent punnery!
“Vas culls.”
Oh, and meh? They’ll take more. So feel free to dump more condoms in my direction.
And now I think I need a shower.
So many ‘Showme’ possibilities in that well written post; but alas, I’m not a member…
/showme a Rooster (cock) wearing a bunch of donated Socks.
@MrGoodGuy Here’s the image you requested for “a Rooster [object Object] cock [object Object] wearing a bunch of donated Socks.”
@mediocrebot Funny that the bot had to use [object Object] to specify what type of C0ck it was depicting!
@mediocrebot @MrGoodGuy
Looks like performance art to me!
Let me know who receives them.
Suzie Shameless 
Do you know how many box’s of cock socks I have? Probably 60-80, I tried the giving to the health dept but they have enough. I thought about giving them away for free but I didn’t want to be accused of giving underage kids condoms, “oh the humanity.” So I’m just gonna put them in my free box at my garage sale and if kids take them that’s their business not mine.
But I love your write up.
You mean these are used to create guaranteed to be a vegan for life babies? Who knew.
PS I talked to a parent of a kid whom I knew screwed around and she said it was OK to give them to him. I am presuming he gave some away since there were so many. At least I hope so. Heaven help everyone if he had sex that often before they expired in May.
@Kidsandliz if they’re used correctly, they’ll hopefully prevent creation of vegan for life babies. Or any other type!
My esse is not that large and I resent the implication.
Being an omnivore, I’m not really drawn to vegan.
Do they come in gluten free? (Asking for a friend)