Ranking Halloween Movies I Watched In OCtober Part 2: Electric Boogaloo

You must trust me, okay? I can do this. Last time, we saw some bad movies and some Nothingburger movies, but here is where the movies get better. Once again, this is MY OPINION. Don’t @ me, okay? I can only take so much before my computer expirences blunt force trauma. Let’s start.

16: Candyman (2021)

Starting today’s ranking, we have the 2021 remake/reboot of Candyman.
To put it bluntly… It’s inferior to the original.
It’s not bad as a movie, but it isn’t great either. For one thing, there is no Tony Todd.

Yes, the Candyman himself is (Almost. I’ll explain it later) absent from the film. Instead of Todd, we have Micheal Hargrove as Sherman Fields, an innocent man who people thought were killing kids via razor blades in candy, so in turn they sent police to BEAT THE MAN TO DEATH. He was innocent, though. But we have 2 Candymen??? And the main character (Yahya Abdul-Mateen II) becomes him??? What??? Well, Anthony (The main character) is the son who got taken by Candyman in the first movie, so he was destined to become Candyman. Somehow. And here is where the reboot/remake gets weird. Now, Candymen (Candymi? Candymenes?) are created when a Black man gets wrongfully scapegoated or brutally murdered by systemic violence or police brutality. Now, after that, the movie proceeds to list some real-world examples of that happening, and… No. I’m not really for that, as you are condensing all of them into a clump. I don’t like how they explain the lore in this movie. Now, if there is something that I really, really love about this movie, it’s the opening title sequence. Mirroring the first movies title sequence, instead of looking down on a busy road, we instead are looking upwards at skyscrapers. It is an AMAZING scene, so I implore you to watch it. This is an OK movie.
P.S.: I forgot to mention this, but while he was living, Fields had a prosthetic hook. After he became the Candyman, that got transformed into a meat hook. It’s a great visual representation of how stories can twist what really happened. Good background detail!
15: Thir13en Ghosts

This movie is criminally underrated. I do not hear too many people talking about this movie, and it is such a shame. Hopefully, it’s one of those movies, just like The Thing, that will get more popular as time goes on.
Now, the plot sucks. It’s mostly just people getting lost in a glass maze, but SERIOUSLY, the set design is AMAZING. This movie has one of my all-time favorite sets, and the shifting glass walls are incredible. Plus, the “Black Zodiac” (The 13 Ghosts) makes up some of my favorite Ghost designs in horror movies. These are their symbols.

We also have Matthew Lillard in this, and since I am not covering Scream or the FNAF movie, this is your taste of Lillard. Soak it in, because he’s pretty good in this movie. It also has an all-timer kill with a person getting split in half via a glass pane. Yeah. A GOOD movie!
WARNING: This movie has a shitload of strobe lights, so beware!
14: Saw

Isn’t it interesting that on the poster is a hand, when in the movie it is a foot that gets cut off? Now, it could be “Dead” Kramer’s hand, but if you look closely, there is an end to the arm, so it is severed. Weird. Whose hand is that? We may never know.
Anyways, Saw. This movie is mostly just two men chained in a bathroom, talking to each other, but it did create a franchise that I do respect. Hell, when you hear the praise “I want to play a game” you would think of this movie.

Now, just like the next movie we are going to cover, there isn’t really a lot of gore in this film. Saw 1 isn’t really a bloodbath. It’s more of a Crime Thriller, which is REALLY crazy to look back on. The musical score is great, though. Charlie Clouser (From NNN) is a nice composer for this movie, giving some nice industrial sounds to it and stuff.
Honestly, for me, I am so tired right now, and I haven’t gotten into my groove yet today, so that’s why this review feels… Eh. Saw is a GOOD movie, and I don’t have much to complain about. Also, the ending with Kramer being alive the whole time is a great plot twist, alongside “Would you kindly?” and James Sunderland killing his wife. Good stuff. All good stuff.
Bleh.
13: The Texas Chainsaw Massacre

Don’t worry. This movie didn’t happen. It’s fake.

This, however, is real. Next time you eat there, check what’s in the food. I found a bit of Kirk in my ribs. Just a PSA.
Anyways, the movie is… Honestly great. I love it. Well, why is it down here? Easy. I love the above movies more. Now, as I said in #14, this movie has surprisingly little blood in it. It’s not a gory bloodbath, since Tobe Hooper (The director) used IMPLIED violence, rather than SEEN violence, letting the brain fill in the blanks. For example, say in a movie, you see a person get hit in the head with a hammer on screen. That is SEEN, since you saw it. Now, compare that to a scene where you see a man, but it cuts to black, and you hear the noise of a hammer striking something. That is IMPLIED, as it makes your brain (Which does a great job of always going to the worst conclusions) figure out what happened, making you think much worse than what was shown. You think that the man got hit in the head with a hammer, but it was a watermelon that got hit. Your brain doesn’t know that.
“It’s all in the mind, you know.” -George Harrison, Yellow Submarine (1968). [You should watch the movie]
Also, the Hitchhiker scene at the beginning of the movie is great. Props to Hooper for making a banger movie. A GREAT movie, and a certified CLASSIC.
12: Evil Dead II

Insert Bad to the Bone riff because I am immature
The skull knows what you did and is appalled by what you’ve done. What is wrong with you? You sicken him. You are not groovy.
This movie is great. I have nothing against this movie. Movie is good. Sami Rami is great, Bruce Campbell is amazing with his slapstick, and the visual puns are great. This movie made me laugh.
Why is this review so short, then?
I passed out while watching this movie, and when I woke up, my renting period was up and I could not finish it, leading me to miss out on the final 25%. Oh well. I still don’t know how it ends, but it’s good, and it meets the criteria for this list, so shush. A GREAT movie.
11: Saw II

Once again, the poster designer for these movies does not understand numbers. So, I like SAW: Fingers more than SAW: Hand and SAW: Teeth for a couple of reasons. But let me explain why it isn’t in the Top Ten.
I didn’t want it to be.
Look. Saw II looks just like 11, and since there are two fingers on the poster that also look like 11, there is a joke here.
Okay, let’s talk about why this is my favorite SAW film.
Amanda. Young. My absolute FAVORITE character in the franchise (Hoffman can go f*ck off) gets more complex layers in this movie. Yes, I know she was indirectly responsible for Kramer Kramering everyone, but we learn that later, and this is Saw II. Saw lore isn’t as bad as FNAF or Kingdom Hearts lore, but it isn’t The Good Place either. I am not a lore-keeper. I want traps.
Speaking of that, we got good traps! If the Glass Labyrinth from 13 Ghosts is my favorite set piece, the Nerve Gas House is easily my second. I love the fact that there are multiple syringes with the antidote, but most of the victims (Which were all arrested by Eric Matthews) are too stupid or self-destructive to get them. This movie is where Saw is at its best, followed by Saw and Saw VI.
Also, practical effects are great, and the Needle Pit REALLY makes me squirm, even though they removed the sharp parts of MORE THAN 120,000 SYRINGES. AND Shawnee Smith has a phobia of needles and was 4-MONTHS PREGNAT DURING THE SCENE. HELL. YEAH.
All in all, A GREAT movie!
10: Child’s Play

(Note: This post is falling apart and the review was lost so just imagine)
All in all, A GREAT movie!
9:Obsession

The newest movie on our list, just coming out this May. Since its new, I’ll avoid spoiling it too much, since this movie is GREAT.

…

That is all. Go watch it. Please.

It’s a GREAT movie, and I don’t want to spoil it.

Much
OKAY. That was the End of Part 2, and I am so sorry that this thing is held together by duct tape and spite. I had good images and a review for 10, but Mr. Chromebook didn’t wanna work.