The Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman Challenge!
11Norman Lear’s satirical soap opera Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman premiered in syndication on January 5, 1976. There are 325 episodes, a sequel/continuation titled Fernwood Forever, and two seasons of summer replacement Fernwood 2 Nite and America 2 Nite. I’m going to try to watch the whole thing in order on as close to the original airing dates as possible, if possible. It’s going to take a year and a half. I’m excited.
Here’s the first episode:
It’s a little terrifying!
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Are they all on YouTube? I may join you!
@sammydog01 I’m not sure! A google search said it’s available on Sony’s YouTube channel, but I couldn’t find it using my phone. I have the series boxed set, but I can’t remember if it has Forever Fernwood and it definitely doesn’t have Fernwood 2 Nite. I hope it’s all on YouTube, because a group watch would be super fun!
@mossygreen @sammydog01
I had totally forgotten about that show! I was only ten years old when it came out and I still have no idea when or how I stumbled upon it!
@Lynnerizer @sammydog01 My mom says she and her friends were all obsessed with it. I have no memory of the show other than being creeped out by it, but I was barely out of toddlerhood and probably only saw a handful of episodes, if that. I guess because it was syndicated it would have been on at different times in different markets.nI was probably more familiar with the Carol Burnett parody (such a strange show to parody, but Carol’s Mary was absolutely perfect). Finally got to watch it on TVLand probably 25 years ago, but they weren’t running the whole series. Seeing Fernwood 2 Nite around 1991 (probably also on TVLand at someone’s house) absolutely blew my mind. I love Martin Mull so much.
“What kind of a madman would shoot two goats and eight chickens?”
/showme a madman shooting two goats and eight chickens
@Pavlov Here’s the image you requested for “a madman shooting two goats and eight chickens”
@mediocrebot @Pavlov Geez. I preferred it when the bot rejected violence.
@Kyeh @mediocrebot @Pavlov It looks like that particular madman is protecting the sheep and goats who are under attack.
@mediocrebot @mossygreen @Pavlov
It does, I guess. I’m still shocked at the gore.
@Kyeh @mossygreen @Pavlov I wouldn’t give the bot too much credit for using correct perspective. And, on a side note, it looks like David Arquette really let himself go!
@ircon96 @Kyeh @mossygreen @Pavlov I thought Mad Max (Mel Gibson) when I first saw the image.
Looks like the hen in the middle ducked at the right time.
@Kyeh @mossygreen @Pavlov @phendrick “Ducked”
… Yeah, that poor girl is like, What the cluck…?!
/showme a kitchen floor with a yellow waxy buildup.
@phendrick Here’s the image you requested for “a kitchen floor with a yellow waxy buildup.”
@mediocrebot that buildup was a letdown
Episode 2 from the same youtube account:
“I got a mother and a father and a chicken and a goat, and I’m a riding the train to heaven.”
/showme a mass murderer with a chicken and a goat riding a train to heaven
@Pavlov Here’s the image you requested for “a mass murderer with a chicken and a goat riding a train to heaven”
@mediocrebot @Pavlov Missing a negligee from Frederick’s.
Something went terribly wrong. Please try again.
@mediocrebot @mossygreen @Pavlov Would the goat wear that?
This was on American airwaves for 300 episodes? This seems like a British series.
@pakopako 325, plus a sequel and summer replacements. In that way, the exact opposite of a British series.
@pakopako OF COURSE, Norman Lear was known for retooling British sitcoms for the US market, so while I don’t know how much he had to do with the actual nuts and bolts of creating the series, it makes sense that there’d be some UK dna in there.
@mossygreen @pakopako The US version of The Office is SO MUCH better that the English one! Same thing for the show Ghosts.
@mossygreen @pakopako @therealjrn Love the US version of Ghosts and was sooooo disappointed with the UK one.
I found episode 3 here:
https://www.dailymotion.com/video/x5cmyom
“I’m sure you were very attractive.”
“Really? What do you think happened to me?”
/showme an attractive young girl drinking from a water fountain with water going up her nose
@Pavlov Here’s the image you requested for “an attractive young girl drinking from a water fountain with water going up her nose”
@Pavlov Thanks, I was just about to post this! It looks like they have a lot of the episodes. There’s a guy on YouTube who streamed reaction videos of the whole series but didn’t show the actual episodes until episode 60. I haven’t checked them out yet to see if the viewing experience is enhanced by a middle-aged Asian man smiling in the lower left corner. I’m kind of hoping it is.
From today’s episode (S01E04):
/showme a breakfast cereal endorsed by Billie Jean King
@Pavlov Here’s the image you requested for “a breakfast cereal endorsed by Billie Jean King”
@Pavlov Does Fernwood even HAVE a House of Pancakes?
https://www.dailymotion.com/video/x5cmyzk
Lots of commercials on daily motion.
@mossygreen Sgt. Foley’s caress of Mary’s cheek was almost unbearably erotic.
https://www.dailymotion.com/video/x5cmzab
@mossygreen IMDB description:
S1.E5 ∙ Episode #1.5
Fri, Jan 9, 1976
Word begins to spread that Heather is a suspect in the murder investigation; Cathy gets fired; Mary receives a threatening phone call.
https://dai.ly/x5cmzm5
@mossygreen
Where’s your couch?
You see, I work for the county and they won’t buy me one.
@mossygreen IMDB description:
S1.E6 ∙ Episode #1.6
Mon, Jan 12, 1976
Mary musters the courage to check out sex books from the library; Grampa Larkin visits psychiatric social worker Roberta Wolashek; a strange man follows Heather home from school.
I’m going to have to watch these soon.
@therealjrn I don’t think they’re going anywhere, but the original airdates won’t match after February because 1976 was a leap year.
HOLY CRAP DAILYMOTION WORKS ON MY LAPTOP TIME TO WATCH KIRBY RIGHT BACK AT YA!
IMDB description:
S1.E7 ∙ Episode #1.7
Tue, Jan 13, 1976
Mary turns to the police after Heather confesses that she saw the killer; Loretta is arrested for picketing; Charlie stumbles on Mary’s sex ed books.
https://dai.ly/x5cmzwo
Thrilling star sighting: Norman Alden as Coach Fedders!
@mossygreen You ever kill anyone?
https://dai.ly/x4undzk
IMDB description:
S1.E8 ∙ Episode #1.8
Wed, Jan 14, 1976
Grampa Larkin’s social worker confesses that she’s fallen in love with him; Mary’s washing machine is broken, Martha’s no-stick starch is sticking, and Heather’s story makes the evening news.
I’m caught up! Gonna watch these at breakfast.
https://dai.ly/x5cn02k
IMDB description:
S1.E9 ∙ Episode #1.9
Thu, Jan 15, 1976
Immediately after recording her demo, Loretta begins suffering from fainting spells; Mary becomes jealous of one of Tom’s coworkers; Heather escapes police protection.
@mossygreen That cop should adopt Heather.
@sammydog01 He’s such a calm, nonjudgmental character.
Did I… forget… to post episode 10?
https://dai.ly/x5ct0c1
IMDB synopsis:
S1.E10 ∙ Episode #1.10
Fri, Jan 16, 1976
Charlie tries talking sense into Tom, but Tom feels something is missing in his life. Cathy prepares for her date with Chuck. Charlie and Loretta go to the Doctor’s office. Raymond goes to see Roberta and meets Fanny. Tom chats up Mae at the bar.
@mossygreen Thrilling star sighting: Carole White as Nurse Pudney, who will always be Big Rosie Greenbaum from Laverne & Shirley to me.
@mossygreen They mentioned inflation. 1976 was wild.
@sammydog01 The whole decade was insane. There’s a reason both The Mary Tyler Moore Show and The Rockford Files had opening credit images of the lead ruefully buying meat.
DON’T TRY TO SING YOURSELF OUT OF THIS ONE
https://dai.ly/x5ct0lh
IMDB synopsis:
S1.E11 ∙ Episode #1.11
Mon, Jan 19, 1976
Tom and Heather both go missing on the same night, and so Mary can only hope that Heather is safe and that Tom was kidnapped by the mass murderer. She’d rather worry about a kidnapping than what she is really worried about.
Well, we live under the path of the flight of migrating birds.
https://dai.ly/x5ct0uo
IMDB synopsis:
S1.E12 ∙ Episode #1.12
Tue, Jan 20, 1976
Loretta considers not going to Nashville since Heather is missing. Mary finds out the truth about Tom. Loretta gets some good news. Cathy admits she’s in love with Steve. Tom tries to finish things with Mae. Mary and Martha have a fight, while Heather returns home with disturbing news.
I don’t even know if we can get it by 7:30.
https://dai.ly/x5ct0z5
IMDB synopsis:
1.E13 ∙ Episode #1.13
Wed, Jan 21, 1976
Cathy brings Steve over to meet her parents. Fanny is too much for Raymond. The mass murderer is revealed and Heather, Trudy, and Mary’s lives are in danger.
Thrilling star sighting: Ed Begley Jr. as deaf-mute Steve! He IS the blondest!
@mossygreen
/showme Ed Begley Jr as a deaf mute
@therealjrn Here’s the image you requested for “Ed Begley Jr as a deaf mute”
@mediocrebot I should of asked for a young Ed Begley Jr.
@mediocrebot @therealjrn It’s a good first try.
@mossygreen @therealjrn Pre St Elsewhere. I loved that show.
@mossygreen @sammydog01
I really liked St Elsewhere, nice theme music too.
@sammydog01 @therealjrn Everytime I try to hum the theme from St. Elsewhere I actually hum the theme from Hill Street Blues, and at least half the times I try to hum the theme from Hill Street Blues it’s actually the theme from Taxi. Of the three shows, the only one I watched is Taxi and I’m not sure I’m only humming its theme.
@mossygreen @therealjrn One of the best series finales too. I bought Hill Street Blues on vudu and have been binging it so that theme is in my brain.
I’m smiling, Davey. Aren’t we smiling, Tom?
https://dai.ly/x5ct13s
IMDB synopsis:
S1.E14 ∙ Episode #1.14
Thu, Jan 22, 1976
Mary’s life is in danger, while the police and reporters surround the store. Tom attempts to save Mary and to apologize.
Thrilling star sighting: Holy crap, you guys, it’s Kaptain Kool, I mean, Michael Lembeck as Clete Mizenheimer! But he’ll always be that guy from that one episode of The Partridge Family to me.
/youtube kaptain kool & the kongs
@mossygreen He looked super familiar to me and I didn’t watch Kaptain Kool so I checked IMDB. Looks like it was from One Day at a Time. Also damn he aged well.
@sammydog01 The older he gets the more he looks like his dad, but a hot version.
@mossygreen I looked up his dad, recognize him too. He died young on the set of Mork and Mindy, so sad. His daughter was in a bunch of episodes of Welcome Back Kotter, another favorite of mine.
@sammydog01 I have the exact same trapper keeper Helaine carried on Welcome Back, Kotter. I have occasionally wondered if there was a way to get her to sign it.
I’ve been doing similar on and off for a long time, and I have bad news–Forever Fernwood isn’t to be found, except the first episode. If you do locate more somewhere please let me know.
@phaedrusnyc There are audio files of the first 51 episodes here: https://archive.org/details/forever-fernwood-392-1978-01-03
I can’t find anything else either.
@Pavlov @phaedrusnyc Ah. Well. I’ll keep on going until we run out of episodes and/or I lose interest. We’ve got a year and a half here, anything could happen (but probably won’t).
@Pavlov Well, that’s something, and I wouldn’t have known otherwise, so thanks!
@mossygreen @Pavlov It’s a fun show but I need to take long breaks in between so I can watch anything else. I do five a week for a month at a time and then come back a few months later. They do tend to get repetitive due to the daily soap opera format.
What is that, Creative Playthings?
https://dai.ly/x5ct1ay
IMDB synopsis:
S1.E15 ∙ Episode #1.15
Fri, Jan 23, 1976
Mary tries to calm the mass murderer with a shoulder massage and a sympathetic ear; Tom picks a perilous time to apologize for his affair; Davey’s demands escalate to a Porsche Targa Carerra and $100,000.
According to the US Inflation Calculator, $100,000 in 1976 is equal to $565,804.92 today.
@mossygreen “So I killed her”
davey, just how many bibles would it take to make a stack?
https://dai.ly/x5d1sgt
IMDB synopsis:
S1.E16 ∙ Episode #1.16
Mon, Jan 26, 1976
The mass murderer and Mary are still holed up in the Chinese laundry, and the killer will only release her after Rev. Standfast swears on a stack of Bibles that the police won’t pursue him for 24 hours.
Thrilling star sighting: We still have Ed Begley Jr. AND Michael Lembeck! Who could ask for anything more? I looked up George Furth (as the Reverend John Standfast) because I’ve seen him in approximately 300000 things, and learned that he wrote the book for the musical Company and two other Sondheim musicals, so WOW.
@mossygreen Lets see what YouTube does…
/youtube George Furth
@therealjrn The music got very dramatic at the end.
@mossygreen @therealjrn I understood everything but busybody.
Hey, you two better cut that out, wha- whatever that is!
https://dai.ly/x5d1so2
IMDB synopsis:
S1.E17 ∙ Episode #1.17
Tue, Jan 27, 1976
Sgt. Foley risks rescuing Mary, but to no avail. Tied back-to-back, Foley lets slip his amorous feelings for Mary. Mae and Tom hatch a plan sure to persuade Rev. Standfast to swear on the Bibles.
Well, you know, like the song says only happy birds and Canadian honkers fly back to the nest.
https://dai.ly/x5d1t3k
IMDB synopsis:
S1.E18 ∙ Episode #1.18
Wed, Jan 28, 1976
The ordeal is over and everyone is relieved that Mary is safe.
I know this is supposed to be about the Hartman family but today I learned that Seahawk’s quarterback Sam Darold’s grandfather, Dick Hammer, was a fireman. He also played one on TV, starring as Captain Hammer in the first season of Emergency! He was also a Marlboro man. Cool.
Also Kevin Tighe played a bad guy in academy award nominated One Battle After Another. I’m pretty sure I pointed at tge screen when I saw him.
/giphy pointing at tv
Well darn it the edit window closed with a stupid gif and a typo.
/giphy pointing at tv
/showme a TV pointing at @sammydog01 and laughing ha ha!
@therealjrn Here’s the image you requested for “a TV pointing at @sammydog01 and laughing ha ha!”
@sammydog01 Emergency had a weirdly large number of characters named after the actors who portrayed them.
It looks like the sunset.
Their marriage?
This toe.
https://dai.ly/x5d1tlq
IMDB synopsis:
S1.E19 ∙ Episode #1.19
Thu, Jan 29, 1976
Mary deals with the aftermath of her ordeal. Charlie looks after Loretta, while Mary is furious with Tom.
No thrilling star sightings, but tomorrow’s episode features the return of Norman Alden as Coach Fedders, although he’ll always be Frank Heflin to me.
I’M TALKING ABOUT MY HANDS! IF I CAN’T TALK ABOUT MY HANDS TO MY OWN MOTHER, WHO CAN I TALK ABOUT MY HANDS TO?!
https://dai.ly/x5d1tul
IMDB synopsis:
S1.E20 ∙ Episode #1.20
Fri, Jan 30, 1976
Mary declares to Tom that their marriage is over. Tom seeks counsel from Coach Fedders, while Dennis Foley seeks the company of Mary. The Haggers prepare to leave for Nashville.
Thrilling star sighting: as promised, NORMAN ALDEN.
@mossygreen waiter, the check and the butter
I didn’t have a very big part, i was just one of the men.
https://dai.ly/x5diagf
IMDB synopsis:
S1.E21 ∙ Episode #1.21
Mon, Feb 2, 1976
Mary visits Sgt. Foley’s apartment. Charlie and Loretta pack for Nashville. Heather knows something’s up, while Raymond and Roberta go on a date.
Tom, I promise you my shoe is safe. It’s with my groceries.
https://dai.ly/x5diajb
IMDB synopsis:
S1.E22 ∙ Episode #1.22
Tue, Feb 3, 1976
Mary returns home with one shoe and no groceries. Tom wants to know where she’s been. Loretta and Charlie are off to Nashville.
Alternate pull quote: Grandpa had a date in the kitchen?
I know, but aside from that he’s such a nice boy.
https://dai.ly/x5dial2
IMDB synopsis:
S1.E23 ∙ Episode #1.23
Wed, Feb 4, 1976
Loretta and Charlie have car trouble. Tom wants to talk to Mary about their marriage. Blanche and Leroy are upset with their runaway daughter. Mary is called to testify against the mass murderer.
Honey, we had an accident. Hit a station wagon full of nuns.
A station wagon full of nuns! Is that a sin?
Well maybe if you’re catholic, but we’re not Catholic, honey.
Oh good. I mean, you know, under the circumstances and everything. I mean, you know, no offense to the Catholics.
https://dai.ly/x5diamw
IMDB synopsis:
S1.E24 ∙ Episode #1.24
Thu, Feb 5, 1976
Tragedy strikes the Haggers in the form of a station wagon full of nuns. Mary and Tom do their best to comfort Charlie. Neither Mary nor Tom can get any sleep.
Tom really sucks.
@mossygreen It’s really hard to sing when you’re sitting down with a stomach full of Oreos.
(I’ll get caught up, I promise.)
@mossygreen
I’m fixin’ to get ready to get started watchin’ soon @sammydog01.
He was just reciting a poem he wrote in fourth grade. Very poetic child.
https://dai.ly/x5f2ljb
IMDB synopsis:
S1.E25 ∙ Episode #1.25
Fri, Feb 6, 1976
Mae has bad news for both Tom and Mary. While Loretta recovers in intensive care, Charlie tells her about their baby.
@mossygreen https://www.dailymotion.com/video/x5diapg
@mossygreen That link took me to the wrong episode, maybe they changed. Anyway the show has taken a depressing turn, I assume it gets better.
@sammydog01 Nope, I messed up. Or the order loaded weird and for some reason I didn’t notice. But it’s definitely not the correct episode and definitely the episode I watched. Embarrassing. Thank you for posting the correct episode which I have not seen.
@mossygreen I watched it too, so I can take a break later in the month.
Also, Tom is horrible, she should dump him.
@sammydog01 TOM:
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DSkZE8AEq1C/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link
You look upset.
Yeah, I know, I’ve been watching television.
https://dai.ly/x5diaub
IMDB synopsis:
S1.E26 ∙ Episode #1.26
Mon, Feb 9, 1976
After leaving Mae, Tom avoids Mary with claims of having a headache and coming down with the flu. Loretta is taken away for tests. Charlie learns from Sgt. Foley that the Vega caught fire and destroyed the demonstration records. The bad news continues when Dr. Hastings informs Charlie and the Shumways that Loretta will be crippled for life without a dangerous operation. Tom confesses to Mary that he gave her a venereal disease. Mary thinks her life is starting to sound like a soap opera.
@mossygreen I don’t mind commercials, I grew up with commercials. But I don’t like commercials that break my tv show like that stupid car loan one. I keep restarting and it breaks. GET OFF MY LAWN DAILY MOTION. Gonna try again tomorrow.
@mossygreen One more try, got Ford commercials. Yay!
It was her birthday Tom.
@sammydog01 I’m waiting for the videos by the man on YouTube who bought the boxed set and watched every episode during the pandemic to reach the point where he’s posting the whole show. Might be annoying, might be better, might be both; but we’ll have a choice.
@mossygreen I’m betting on better. Also thanks so much for posting these, you’re watching on DVD right? This is a lot of work for you.
This episode was also funnier than the last couple.
@sammydog01 I was going to watch my still-unopened box set which I bought when it came out, but I wanted to post the episodes, so I was finding them anyway, so I figured I’d just watch them. Thus my loathing of daily motion.
https://dai.ly/x5do1ll
IMDB synopsis:
S1.E27 ∙ Episode #1.27
Tue, Feb 10, 1976
Martha phones Mary after seeing Tom arrive at the Haggers house with his suitcases, but Mary refuses to elaborate. Martha is further distressed when Cathy reveals that George plans to run for office in the next union election. Charlie welcomes Tom as a house guest but is preoccupied with Loretta’s back surgery. Mary gives Loretta a Milky Way before surgery and visits the library where she asks Mrs. Delorean for books on social diseases. Cathy stops by Mary’s kitchen with news that she got a job in a massage parlor. Charlie receives bad news about Loretta.
@mossygreen I had trouble playing this episode, so listened to the video by the guy who watched every episode on youtube. He eventually figured out how to stream the episode while filming, but this was before that. So, if you had trouble playing the episode, here’s a guy named Neil who bought the boxed set explaining it to you:
@mossygreen I got through the Milky Way bar before it completely crashed, gonna call it close enough.
I had a wonderful time. I did my handkerchief trick!
https://dai.ly/x5do1oo
IMDB synopsis:
S1.E28 ∙ Episode #1.28
Wed, Feb 11, 1976
Dr. Hastings informs Charlie that Loretta’s surgery didn’t get the results they hoped for. Roberta is upset by the reaction of friends to her date with Grandpa Larkin. George sides with Cathy when Martha is upset about Cathy’s new job in the massage parlor. Charlie learns that his insurance company has refused to pay Loretta’s hospital bill. Mary, Tom, and Mae all find themselves seeking treatment in Dr. Miller’s office.
@mossygreen I feel an urge to buy a Ford.
As far as I’m concerned, you can have Tom if you want him.
[gasp] Do you really mean it?
Yes I do. You see, I don’t want him any more, and there’s no sense in letting him go to waste.
https://dai.ly/x5do1qd
IMDB synopsis:
S1.E29 ∙ Episode #1.29
Thu, Feb 12, 1976
Mary gives Tom to Mae, insisting she no longer wants him as her husband. Cathy’s work uniform shocks Martha. Sal Babbitaglia, Cathy’s boss, laughs at Martha’s suggestion that he doesn’t run a reputable business, but Cathy gets nervous after her first customer reveals his interest in meter maid uniforms and rubber hoses. When Cathy tells her parents what happened at work, George grabs a bat and leaves to kill Babbitaglia.
@mossygreen I thought Cathy’s uniform was cute too, what am I missing?
Also there’s a $3000 rebate on Fords.
@sammydog01 Four feet of rubber hose, obviously.
The front door’s unlocked? You could have robbed me.
https://dai.ly/x5do1sz
IMDB synopsis:
S1.E30 ∙ Episode #1.30
Fri, Feb 13, 1976
Cathy begs Mary to get Tom and try to stop George from killing Sal Babbitaglia. At the plant, Tom is counseled by the employee psychologist Bob Gilroy, who walks out in disgust over Tom’s revelation of giving Mary a venereal disease. Dr. Abramson confides to Charlie that Dr. Hastings botched Loretta’s surgery and is guilty of professional negligence. Roberta tells Martha and Grandpa Larkin that she was fired for fraternizing with a client but is now selling door-to-door cosmetics. George arrives at the massage parlor and is arrested along with Babbitaglia in a raid organized by Detective Johnson.
@mossygreen Oh, things are heating up.
@therealjrn We’re almost a tenth in (not including Fernwood 2 Nite), they better be heating up! Aw, I’m already sad at it ending and/or me losing interest in posting every day.
@mossygreen @therealjrn
Oh no mossygreen, don’t lose interest. I’m way behind but I’m following! Love this, good job!
@Lynnerizer @mossygreen @therealjrn I’m behind too, I’ll try to get caught up this week.
@Lynnerizer @mossygreen @therealjrn I love how Detective Johnson pulled the handcuffs out of the marital aide display case.
I want platform shoes.
https://dai.ly/x5do1v7
IMDB synopsis:
S1.E31 ∙ Episode #1.31
Mon, Feb 16, 1976
Tom takes Heather out to avoid Mary’s liver dinner, but Mary refuses to go. Dennis stops by with Mary’s groceries and shoe. Roberta visits and ends her relationship with Grandpa Larkin. Dr. Miller phones Mary with the test results. Steve announces that a volume of his poems is going to be published. George phones home from the police station where he’s been arrested in the massage parlor raid. Loretta learns that she probably will never walk again.
Thrilling star sightings: the triumphant return of Archie Hahn as Harold Clemens! Ed Begley Jr. is still exceedingly blond! I looked at Sgt. Swelt and thought, hey, isn’t that the bartender from All in the Family? And it was!
But it also helped me to cope with what could have been a major setback in my life and turn it into a minor setback. And to go out just like that and to start a whole new career! And a career in a field for which I am totally unsuited.
Well, it’s truly amazing.
https://dai.ly/x5e22v5
IMDB synopsis:
S1.E32 ∙ Episode #1.32
Tue, Feb 17, 1976
Mary, Dennis, and Roberta discuss STET, Survival Training and Existence Therapy. Tom comes back from dinner and is angered by Dennis’ presence which Tom thinks is Mary’s way of paying him back for his affair with Mae. Later, Mary goes to the jail and convinces Dennis to free George who she insists was arrested by mistake.
@mossygreen I will never get over Sgt. Foley’s open-neck shirt in uniform. It’s so unprofessional. Every time I see him at work, I think what are you, a stripper? Is that a breakaway uniform?
But Cathy, this is Duncan Hines Extra Moist. WOULD YOU LIKE SOME CAKE, STEVE? YOU’RE WELCOME.
https://dai.ly/x5e22yv
IMDB synopsis:
S1.E33 ∙ Episode #1.33
Wed, Feb 18, 1976
George forbids Cathy to marry Steve. Charlie and Loretta’s hope for Loretta’s recovery is renewed when they learn that faith healer Dorelda Doremus is coming to Fernwood. Cathy appeals to Mary for support in her engagement to Steve, but Mary remains objective. Tom prepares dinner for Mary at Charlie and Loretta’s house.
You know, I don’t know what happened with STET. I’m probably the only person alive who didn’t survive the Survival Techniques of Existence Training.
https://dai.ly/x5e233r
IMDB synopsis:
S1.E34 ∙ Episode #1.34
Thu, Feb 19, 1976
Mary and Tom reconcile their differences. Dr. Abramson offers to testify on Loretta’s behalf if she elects to sue Dr. Hastings for negligence. Grandpa Larkin offers Roberta sage advice when she makes a dramatic decision about her future. Mary is horrified to read an article about Dorelda Doremus that exposes the faith healer as a fake. Mary and Tom worry that Loretta will be devastated to learn that Dorelda can’t heal her.
@mossygreen Gotta admit, Tom looks cute in his (probably synthetic) patchwork-print shirt and denim apron. I almost forgot how terrible he is for a moment there.
ALSO: Roberta’s heel turn into sales success was an absolute beauty to behold. Just glorious.
What the hell is this stuff? What the hell am I eating?
Oh, it’s a new kind of cereal.
It tastes funny.
Don’t go by the taste, Tom, it’s very good for you. It’s better than natural.
How can it be better than natural?
Because it tastes worse than natural.
https://dai.ly/x5e2371
IMDB synopsis:
S1.E35 ∙ Episode #1.35
Fri, Feb 20, 1976
Tom reassures Mary that their fighting is a sign they love and care about each other. George seeks help from Mary when Cathy continues to give him the silent treatment over Steve. Mary can’t tell Loretta the truth about Dorelda Doremus when Loretta insists Dorelda is God’s answer to her prayers. Cathy and Steve celebrate an anniversary. Desperate for money, Charlie is duped by loan officer Joe Zimmer.
@mossygreen Debralee Scott continues to be a fashion icon in her rust-colored top, denim skirt and wedge heels. God, I love her.
I mean, whatever line of work you’re in I’m sure you find some ways to make your work more interesting. Like if you’re in the service business you aggravate people just for the kick of watching their blood boil. If you’re a professional man you do your best to overcharge. Least you give it a good try.
https://dai.ly/x5e239k
IMDB synopsis:
S1.E36 ∙ Episode #1.36
Mon, Feb 23, 1976
Luther Moon, Fernwood’s garbage man, sifts through the trash and recalls the major events from the last 35 episodes of Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman, told through flashbacks.
Yes, now you may go watch My Little Margie, but while you’re watching it I want you to think about something. I want you to think about this: My Little Margie does not smoke joints.
https://dai.ly/x5e23d4
IMDB synopsis:
S1.E37 ∙ Episode #1.37
Tue, Feb 24, 1976
Mary finds a joint on Heather and throws it in the waste basket. Later, Mary retrieves the joint and is caught by Tom. In order to lecture Heather about the dangers of marijuana, Tom and Mary decide to experience it first hand and smoke pot before joining Charlie and Loretta at Dorelda Doremus’ faith healing show. Dorelda refuses to lay hands on Loretta but “cures” a paralyzed woman in the audience. A stoned Tom wheels Loretta on stage, forcing Dorelda to lay hands on her. Loretta attempts to walk but falls face down.
Thrilling star sighting: I’m told Doris Roberts has had more prominent roles than Father Tim’s mother in SOAP, but I am unaware of them. Because I love SOAP just that much.
@mossygreen I don’t know why I’m such a sucker for My Little Margie jokes, but I am. I’ve never seen an episode!
EVERYBODY! EVERYBODY! EVERYBODY LISTEN! WHY DON’T WE ALL GO OUT AND EAT ITALIAN!
https://dai.ly/x5ea1dc
IMDB synopsis:
S1.E38 ∙ Episode #1.38
Wed, Feb 25, 1976
Dorelda tries to heal Loretta and fails again. George receives an anonymous threat warning him not to run for union office at the plant. A stoned Mary and Tom barge into Dorelda’s dressing room and accuse her of being a fake. Dorelda sends curses from God to the Hartmans. Tom and Mary try to convince Charlie of the truth about Dorelda. Steve tells Martha he’s going to propose to Cathy. Mary and Tom pig out in bed and discuss how pot heightens the senses.
Drugs really brought Tom and Mary together. It was sweet.
@mossygreen Drugs…is there anything you can’t do?
My dog has one of these, he sleeps with it all the time.
https://dai.ly/x5ea142
IMDB synopsis:
S1.E39 ∙ Episode #1.39
Thu, Feb 26, 1976
Heather rails against her parents when she realizes Tom and Mary smoked her joint. Charlie and Loretta get a visit from a real estate agent and learn that Charlie should’ve read the fine print on his loan application. Mary and Dr. Fermin must save Mae who collapses in Mary’s kitchen after swallowing sleeping pills.
Thrilling star sighting: I thought to myself, hey, isn’t that real estate agent the man from Saturday the 14th who is neither Jeffrey Tambor nor Richard Benjamin? And it was! And it turns out Severn Darden was a real pioneer of improv as part of the Compass Players and a founding member of The Second City. Comedy royalty, forgotten today, except as that guy from Saturday the 14th who is neither Jeffrey Tambor nor Richard Benjamin.
Look at what I found, @mossygreen.
/youtube 2uxU5oSdJTc
Wow. Your mind is so organized. And you just woke up.
https://dai.ly/x5ea15y
IMDB synopsis:
S1.E40 ∙ Episode #1.40
Fri, Feb 27, 1976
Mary and Tom cater to Mae, who’s recovering in their bed from her pill overdose. Steve asks Cathy to marry him. Charlie wants Tom to go with him to a meeting regarding the malpractice case. Martha finds Mae in Mary’s bed, and an upset Mae locks herself in the bathroom.
This is the last episode that syncs up with the calendar, since (as I mentioned somewhere above) 1976 was a leap year.
@mossygreen Also, I don’t remember them, but Freakies were real. And spectacular.
Blanche, I don’t play with my mentholatum.
https://dai.ly/x5ea18x
IMDB synopsis:
S1.E41 ∙ Episode #1.41
Mon, Mar 1, 1976
Mary lends a sympathetic ear to Mae and learns about Mae’s ex-husband Mike Olinski. Cathy fears that exposure to a more sophisticated lifestyle will take Steve away from her. Visitors to the Haggers home include the Fedders, who fail miserably in their attempt to cheer up Loretta, oily lawyer Lucius Minnow, and a deputy sheriff serving Charlie and Loretta with an eviction notice.
Thrilling star sighting: Well, it’s still Norman Alden as Coach Fedders. I read ahead, and our time with the good coach is drawing to an end. So let’s savor these moments, before he goes back to being Television’s Frank Heflin in my heart.
/youtube electra woman and dynagirl frank heflin
But you know, I wouldn’t have been ready for it if it hadn’tve been for STET.
Is that one of the new cosmetics you’re selling?
It sounds like some kind of deodorant. Does it work? Wouldn’t it be amazing if we found one that did!
https://dai.ly/x5ea1bd
IMDB synopsis:
S1.E42 ∙ Episode #1.42
Tue, Mar 2, 1976
When Dennis admits he still wants Mary, she encourages a relationship between him and Roberta. Roberta tries to let Grandpa Larkin down easily when she reveals her interest in Sgt. Foley. Tom bristles at Mary’s matchmaking between Dennis and Roberta and Mae and her ex-husband Mike Olinski.
I loved Roberta’s long jacket. I would like one.
Wait a minute, it’s time for Monty Hall.
TO HELL WITH MONTY HALL!
To hell with Monty Hall? But he has such a sincere face and sweet eyes.
https://dai.ly/x5efrjg
IMDB synopsis:
S1.E43 ∙ Episode #1.43
Thu, Mar 4, 1976
Loretta starts to regain feeling in her feet, while Mae considers leaving Fernwood. Mary makes Coach Fedders some chicken soup for his cold, with disastrous results.
Thrilling star sighting: Our last view of Norman Alden as Coach Fedders, finally free to pursue his signature role for which is universally beloved: Frank Heflin.
@mossygreen My browser won’t play the youtube video, but maybe someone else’s will.
@mossygreen No luck on my Android.
@therealjrn So weird. There was a video of several episodes that had a truly horrific voiceover intro that I didn’t want to inflict on anyone. Maybe I should post that.
You’re thinking of putting “Mrs. Blanche Fedders, Widow” on a napkin?
No.
https://dai.ly/x5efrlw
IMDB synopsis:
S1.E44 ∙ Episode #1.44
Thu, Mar 4, 1976
Clete reports the news of Leroy’s bizarre death at age 47. Martha can’t find George when she calls the hotel to inform him of Leroy’s death. Blanche comforts a guilt-ridden, weepy Mary who’s mistaken for the widow by the mortician. Blanche doesn’t want to get soaked by Leroy’s funeral expenses. Cathy refuses to go with Steve as he prepares to leave for New York. Martha finally reaches George, but he has a date with Sheri.
Thrilling star sighting: It’s Michael Lembeck’s hair. Just his hair.
@mossygreen
/showme Michael Lembeck’s hair. Just his hair.
@therealjrn Here’s the image you requested for “Michael Lembeck’s hair. Just his hair.”
@mediocrebot @therealjrn I’ll have to do some research on his current haircut.
@mediocrebot @mossygreen That does look like nice hair!
Oh, riddles! I mean, riddles! Riddles is a perfect death game!
You know, I have no idea what you’re talking about.
I know.
https://dai.ly/x5efrnv
IMDB synopsis:
S1.E45 ∙ Episode #1.45
Fri, Mar 5, 1976
Joe Sweeney and Sheri place George in a compromising position. Mary and Tom have a serious discussion about death and the continuation of life. Mike Olinski phones Mary, and she persuades him to meet them for a drink at the Capri. George arrives home to find Sweeney visiting (and subtly threatening) Martha.
And now for my final point: I do not want any of my friends, or neighbors, or relatives ever to eat anything I offer them ever again. I mean, even if I beg you: NO! PLEASE! If you come over, we will eat out or order in.
https://dai.ly/x5efrq3
IMDB synopsis:
S1.E46 ∙ Episode #1.46
Mon, Mar 8, 1976
Reverend Buryfield conducts Leroy’s funeral in Mary’s kitchen. Tom doesn’t understand Mary’s restlessness and asks if she’s given up on their family in order to meddle in the lives of others. Tom suspects George’s frame-up might be retaliation for Tom’s dissatisfaction with working conditions at the plant. Mae’s excited by Tom’s news that Mike Olinski wants to meet her at the Capri.
Thrilling star sighting: James Cromwell, breakout star of 1995’s Babe, portrays the Reverend Buryfield. Of course, to many he will always be All in the Family’s Stretch Cunningham. In fact, after I saw Babe, if I recall correctly awhile after, I was like, wait, that was Stretch Cunningham?!
I DON’T TRUST HER!
Why not?
BECAUSE YOU SHOULD NEVER TRUST A PERSON WHO SLEPT WITH YOUR HUSBAND! IT’S JUST A VERY GOOD GENERAL RULE TO FOLLOW.
https://dai.ly/x5efrsg
IMDB synopsis:
S1.E47 ∙ Episode #1.47
Tue, Mar 9, 1976
Mike and Mae’s reunion at the Capri doesn’t go as planned, but it’s Tom who gets the brunt of their ensuing bar room brawl. Mae’s attempt at an apology for the previous night results in another fight, this one between Mary and Mae. Lucius Minnow tells the Haggers that a $10,000 insurance settlement has been offered, but he turned it down because he’s holding out for six figures. Loretta makes her return engagement to the Capri, and during her performance she suddenly stands on her own.
Where’re you going, Pa?
To watch Shop For Your Life, it’s my favorite tv show. Last week 3 women competing for prizes injured themselves. Permanently!
https://dai.ly/x5efrvh
IMDB synopsis:
S1.E48 ∙ Episode #1.48
Wed, Mar 10, 1976
Martha wonders if George’s nervousness is a result of someone intimidating him. Charlie and Loretta interrupt a tense moment in the Hartman kitchen, and ask Mary if they can stay with Tom and Mary if they get evicted within the week. Mae reminds Tom of everything he’s got. The Shumways and Hartmans gather to watch Steve’s debut on the Johnny Tilson Show, where it’s apparent that he’s romancing starlet Kate Walters. Martha faints after seeing George’s blackmail photos.
Thrilling star sighting: Hey, remember Pink Lady and Jeff? I don’t as anything other than a punchline (I think we’d given up on Krofft Bro. variety shows by then), but Jeff himself, Jeff Altman, does his best Johnny Carson impression as tv host Johnny Tilson! You may also remember him as the replacement judge with a gun who may have been mobbed up on that one episode of Night Court. There’s definitely a small, weird flow between Krofft and MHMH with both him and Michael Lembeck, and I literally just read that Jim Varney was part of the Pink Lady and Jeff cast, and we’ll be seeing him on Fernwood 2 Night. I guess not really apropos, but I do love Jim Varney, so I’M BRINGING IT UP. AND NOW I’M DONE. AND I’M GOING TO SEE IF ANY STREAMING SERVICE HAS THE BEVERLY HILLBILLIES MOVIE BECAUSE MY GOD WHAT A CAST.
No, you can’t understand this without the diamond. You need the diamond.
https://dai.ly/x5ert3n
IMDB synopsis:
S1.E49 ∙ Episode #1.49
Thu, Mar 11, 1976
Mary tells Tom that it’ll be 23 years before their sexual desires are synchronized again. Tom is angered by Mary’s need for “something else” that she can’t explain. Mary seeks answers to happiness from Grandpa Larkin who surmises she doesn’t quite fit in anywhere. Mary hides under the kitchen sink. Cathy worries that she’s losing Steve. Loretta has inspiration for a new song, Ballad of a Legless Woman. Mary cries and shares a lunch meat sandwich with Grandpa.
This was a grim one. Lots of good lines, but grim.
Maybe my thing isn’t a thing thing. See, I never really learned anything special. I mean, it would be very difficult for me to suddenly become a brain surgeon or an animal trainer, do you know what I mean?
Yes, I do.
https://dai.ly/x5ertig
IMDB synopsis:
S1.E50 ∙ Episode #1.50
Fri, Mar 12, 1976
Dr. Fermin tells Loretta that she’s in spontaneous remission. Charlie devises a plan to come up with money to stall eviction by selling raffle tickets for a color TV he and Loretta don’t have. Martha refuses to believe George’s claim that he was framed by union officials in Milwaukee. Loretta and Mary decide that Mary’s “thing” is communication. Tiny catches Charlie selling raffle tickets and orders him out. When Tom intervenes, Tiny tells him to shut up or he’s fired, prompting Charlie to deck Tiny who falls to the floor unconscious.
No thrilling star sightings, but I was excited to see a loaf of Wonder Bread because I scored a free Wonder Bread wooden ruler today which enumerated each of the 12 Ways WONDER BREAD Helps Build Strong Bodies.
Can you think of anything that rhymes with “month”?
[pause] Lunch? But it has to be said by a person who doesn’t speak clearly.
https://dai.ly/x5ertmd
IMDB synopsis:
S1.E51 ∙ Episode #1.51
Mon, Mar 15, 1976
Now that Mary knows her thing is communication, she has to decide what to do with it. Tom doesn’t communicate well when he tells Loretta and Mary what happened between Charlie and Tiny at the plant. Mary wishes Tom could convert the energy of anger into something sexy. George is happy he and Martha made up at 2:15 a.m. Cathy fears she’s no longer good enough for Steve, and George threatens to punch his heart out. Loretta’s engineer Clyde Muncie visits with news that his brother in Chicago wants to release Loretta’s song as a single.
Sneaking in to post a kickstarter I found.
I’m not backing it but what an idea.
@sammydog01 Nice!
We aren’t doing anything or talking about much, but you can do it with us.
https://dai.ly/x5ertt1
IMDB synopsis:
S1.E52 ∙ Episode #1.52
Tue, Mar 16, 1976
Steve reassures Cathy that starlet Kate Walters was just for publicity. Tom has to explain to Heather that he broke the rules when he’s sent home from the plant over the incident between Charlie and Tiny. George isn’t sympathetic to Tom’s situation. At the library, Mrs. Delorean introduces Mary to sex therapist Mona McKenzie from the Lackawanda Institute.
Thrilling star sighting: Ed Begley, Jr. is back and shirtless, if that’s your thing. Or if you think it might be your thing. Or if you’re afraid that it might be your thing, in which case this is FAIR WARNING.