What annoys the crap out of me is having to read through their life story before I get to the recipe. Thankfully more and more sites have started posting a “jump to the recipe” button at the top of the page.
@chienfou It’s still common to find that the recipes in such collections are crap, frequently copied nearly verbatim from other sites. The majority may well be good stuff, but I’ve been sorely disappointed often enough that I’ve learned to look really hard and compare methods and ingredients for multiple versions before trying them. Along the way, I’ve found a few collections that are gems within their genre, like those from the English retired cook John Kirkwood. And even some famous sources have some duds in their early materials.
@werehatrack
Since cooking and food preferences are largely a matter of taste virtually all recipes have the potential to be crap for somebody.
i rarely use a recipe strictly as it’s presented. I’m generally looking more for proportions and general flavor profiles or cooking times. But I’m NEVER looking for an entire 12 screen write up about some random life shit…
@chienfou This is my biggest pet peeve looking at any recipe online. How about recipe first and then I’ll wade through the BS if I’m at all intrigued. Thank Buddha for the jump button!
@chienfou@werehatrack absolutely this! Savory recipes for me are a guideline or used for inspiration. I typically only follow a recipe verbatim if baking is involved because chemistry. I will typically still alter their flavor profiles so long as it doesn’t affect the chemical composition. I then tweak or adjust the recipes as needed once they’re tested.
@chienfou@sillyheathen@werehatrack Same. My mom used to get out her measuring spoons for things like herbs or mustard in recipes. I just eyeball it. I’m actually pretty good at accurately pouring 1/2 teaspoon or 1 teaspoon of something into my hand.
I don’t look for a lot of recipes online, but I’ve never seen one that starts with “marry me” — is that a real thing, or just an exaggeration to make a point?
(I’m a little curious to see one of those recipes, but probably it’s just a normal, boring recipe with that inserted for humor or something.)
@lisagd22@xobzoo it started as marry me chicken. Now you can find marry me just about anything. It puts to my mind I need to cook this to get a man. And if you’re a man I guess you need to cook it to get another man? Or is it a woman? But f*** that.
@Cerridwyn@lisagd22@xobzoo@silliehesthen
Apparently I don’t spend enough time looking for recipes on the internet since I’ve never run across that particular lead in. Of course if that was the first line that’s as far as I would get. That would be totally off-putting for me. My first thought when I see something like that (or world’s best “X” recipe etc) is JEEZ what a pompous ASSHOLE
@Cerridwyn@pakopako@xobzoo First of all, if the recipe doesn’t work the first day as a soup, what makes them think serving it in new forms will work any better? Second, if you have to serve someone marry me anything for close to a week to get them to marry you, do you really want to stick with such a loser?
@Kyeh@lisagd22@pakopako@xobzoo I have actually eaten it. 20 or so years ago. It was bloody awesome but better than sex? hard to say, i guess it depends on if he can last more than 2 minutes or not
@chienfou@Kyeh you are assuming that she wasn’t including all of that in the 2 minutes. Please note that women talk about sex very differently than men do
@Cerridwyn@Kyeh@pakopako@xobzoo I’m meh about chocolate, so I have a feeling sex would rate higher than this cake for me. Now if caramel is involved, all bets are off.
To borrow from a 2010’s thing: “where is the press X to skip feature”
(This is a trope for video games, where some people like the mechanics of playing without the need to see an intermission video… Some games have made the “skip video” button a pay-real-money-to-use option)
It’s not about where you posted it, it’s about not acknowledging the existence of just what you were referencing. (And so far they haven’t managed to monetize that in recipes… yet)
How about YouTube cooking videos that start with 'Fuiyoh!"?
@werehatrack i’d probably do that if i watched videos. i want to read it, not watch someone make it
Or how about the recipes for “Better Than Sex (Whatever)”?
@Kyeh food is not sex
It’s a different thing
But if that’s the only metric some people have, here’s another metric they might understand
@pakopako
Umm, that was kind of my point.
And thanks for the graphic novel, but TL;DR.
@Kyeh yeah, the graphic novel was something from 2004; I can’t believe people are still making the “this is like sex on your tongue” dialogues.
@pakopako It’s probably timeless, but it’s just as stupid now as it was when I first heard it in the 80s.
@pakopako I finally read it - it IS funny. Especially the end - wouldn’t it be nice to be able to beat up the person who invented the pop-up ads!
What annoys the crap out of me is having to read through their life story before I get to the recipe. Thankfully more and more sites have started posting a “jump to the recipe” button at the top of the page.
@chienfou It’s still common to find that the recipes in such collections are crap, frequently copied nearly verbatim from other sites. The majority may well be good stuff, but I’ve been sorely disappointed often enough that I’ve learned to look really hard and compare methods and ingredients for multiple versions before trying them. Along the way, I’ve found a few collections that are gems within their genre, like those from the English retired cook John Kirkwood. And even some famous sources have some duds in their early materials.
@chienfou Prescient, much? Colbert’s opening monologue this evening echoed your sentiment about recipes.
@werehatrack
Since cooking and food preferences are largely a matter of taste virtually all recipes have the potential to be crap for somebody.
i rarely use a recipe strictly as it’s presented. I’m generally looking more for proportions and general flavor profiles or cooking times. But I’m NEVER looking for an entire 12 screen write up about some random life shit…
@chienfou This is my biggest pet peeve looking at any recipe online. How about recipe first and then I’ll wade through the BS if I’m at all intrigued. Thank Buddha for the jump button!
@chienfou @werehatrack absolutely this! Savory recipes for me are a guideline or used for inspiration. I typically only follow a recipe verbatim if baking is involved because chemistry. I will typically still alter their flavor profiles so long as it doesn’t affect the chemical composition. I then tweak or adjust the recipes as needed once they’re tested.
@chienfou @sillyheathen @werehatrack Same. My mom used to get out her measuring spoons for things like herbs or mustard in recipes. I just eyeball it. I’m actually pretty good at accurately pouring 1/2 teaspoon or 1 teaspoon of something into my hand.
I don’t look for a lot of recipes online, but I’ve never seen one that starts with “marry me” — is that a real thing, or just an exaggeration to make a point?
(I’m a little curious to see one of those recipes, but probably it’s just a normal, boring recipe with that inserted for humor or something.)
@xobzoo There’s one called Marry Me Chicken (or is it Pasta?). It sounds tasty, but not earth-shatteringly good.
@xobzoo same. Stuff like that just always makes me think they’re trying too hard and I ignore it.
@lisagd22 @xobzoo it started as marry me chicken. Now you can find marry me just about anything. It puts to my mind I need to cook this to get a man. And if you’re a man I guess you need to cook it to get another man? Or is it a woman? But f*** that.
@sillyheathen Says the serial over-achiever.
@Cerridwyn @lisagd22 @xobzoo @silliehesthen
Apparently I don’t spend enough time looking for recipes on the internet since I’ve never run across that particular lead in. Of course if that was the first line that’s as far as I would get. That would be totally off-putting for me. My first thought when I see something like that (or world’s best “X” recipe etc) is JEEZ what a pompous ASSHOLE
@Cerridwyn @lisagd22 @xobzoo
… This doesn’t sound like a real trend. This sounds like a running gag from Arrested Development
@lisagd22 @pakopako @xobzoo
https://www.google.com/search?q=marry+e+recies&oq=marry+e+recies&gs_lcrp=EgZjaHJvbWUyBggAEEUYOdIBCDg5OTVqMGo3qAILsAIB&client=ms-android-samsung-rvo1&sourceid=chrome-mobile&ie=UTF-8
@Cerridwyn @xobzoo Exactly. If a guy wanted to marry me just because I made this chicken, I’d head for the hills.
@Cerridwyn @pakopako @xobzoo First of all, if the recipe doesn’t work the first day as a soup, what makes them think serving it in new forms will work any better? Second, if you have to serve someone marry me anything for close to a week to get them to marry you, do you really want to stick with such a loser?
@Cerridwyn @lisagd22 @pakopako @xobzoo Also:
I worked with a woman who brought some dessert with this name to a work potluck and announced it in front of her fiancé. What a burn!
@Kyeh @lisagd22 @pakopako @xobzoo I have actually eaten it. 20 or so years ago. It was bloody awesome but better than sex? hard to say, i guess it depends on if he can last more than 2 minutes or not
POPSOCKETS! SPROCKETS! DAVY CROCKETT! AWESOME!
@Cerridwyn @lisagd22 @pakopako @xobzoo
@Cerridwyn @Kyeh
A lot can happen in 2 minutes!
@chienfou @Kyeh Someone I used to work with refer to her husband as quote the two minute man unquote. It was not a compliment
@Cerridwyn @Kyeh
If you play your cards right it’s the time leading up to that 2 minutes that’s worthwhile!
@chienfou @Kyeh you are assuming that she wasn’t including all of that in the 2 minutes. Please note that women talk about sex very differently than men do
@Cerridwyn @Kyeh
If that’s the case she has every right to complain
@Cerridwyn @Kyeh @pakopako @xobzoo I’m meh about chocolate, so I have a feeling sex would rate higher than this cake for me. Now if caramel is involved, all bets are off.
To borrow from a 2010’s thing: “where is the press X to skip feature”
(This is a trope for video games, where some people like the mechanics of playing without the need to see an intermission video… Some games have made the “skip video” button a pay-real-money-to-use option)
@pakopako
It’s right there in the “jump to recipe” button we keep referencing… Did you miss that?
@chienfou ah, I made a separate post instead of replying in the conversation you were having
@pakopako
It’s not about where you posted it, it’s about not acknowledging the existence of just what you were referencing. (And so far they haven’t managed to monetize that in recipes… yet)
@chienfou yeah, that’s what I worry about
(that the “jump to the recipe” button at the top of the page remains, but gets blocked off by some paywall)